Heartbeat Step by Step - Chapter 8
Chapter 8
I had no idea how long I’d been walking down that remote little road when the man on my back finally stirred.
His voice was hoarse. “Xiao Huai?”
Looked like he’d slept for a while and sobered up quite a bit.
“You finally sobered up.”
Xie Xu struggled, trying to get down from my back. “Put me down. I can walk by myself.”
“Still mad?”
“No.”
“Bullshit. The words ‘I’m mad’ are practically written all over your face.”
“…”
Xie Xu pressed his lips together and didn’t answer.
The lights along this little road were dim. The man on my shoulder finally stopped making a fuss about getting down.
It wasn’t every day I got the chance to lecture Xie Xu. How could I not seize the opportunity?
“Look at you. A grown man, and you’re throwing a tantrum like some lovesick little girl.”
“You even learned to drown your sorrows in alcohol.”
“You’re supposed to be a model actor in the entertainment industry. How can you let people photograph you like-”
“Xiao Huai.” Xie Xu cut me off.
“Yeah?”
He said seriously, “Come to the company I signed with. Stay with me, okay?”
Seeing the expectation in Xie Xu’s eyes, I really didn’t have the heart to pour cold water on him.
“Of course it’d be great to be in the same company as Xie Xu, but… that’s not really a matter of whether I want to or not, is it?”
He said, flustered, “I’ll take care of everything else.”
I chuckled and joked, “I know. Xie Xu is the best.”
Xie Xu seemed dissatisfied with my reaction. “I’m serious.”
“Xiao Huai, I know what I’m doing more clearly than ever.”
“I want to be with you.”
Chapter 17
I didn’t answer him directly. I just treated his words as if he meant he wanted us to be together in the literal sense.
I was too afraid to pierce that thin layer of paper between us, and even more afraid that Xie Xu would be disappointed in me.
Ever since I realized my feelings for Xie Xu weren’t simply brotherly affection, I’d had nightmares for several nights in a row.
In those dreams, Xie Xu looked at me like I was some kind of monster, accusing me of why I had to say something so disgusting out loud.
Xie Xu came home with me.
After I got the guest room ready for him, I lay in bed, not the least bit sleepy, unable to stop thinking about what Xie Xu had said tonight.
But after thinking for ages and getting nowhere, I finally decided to seek help from the vast wisdom of the internet.
In the dark, I turned on my computer and pretended to be a passerby as I left a question under a Xie Xu and me fanfic:
[If a guy tells you he wants to be together while he’s drunk, is he serious?]
A fellow champion of staying up late replied instantly:
[Coming out? You’d better be careful with that one.]
[Have you two ever “fallen”? If you have, I think he’ll admit it.]
…
I kept scrolling until I saw a reply from the author of the fanfic:
[He’ll admit it.]
I immediately sent a private message to the fanfic author with the username “CP Is Real Lover”:
[He really will?]
[Of course. Why wouldn’t he? He definitely likes you too.]
[How are you so sure?]
[Intuition. Besides, drunk words are sober thoughts.]
[People also talk nonsense when they’re drunk!]
…
After that, from one in the morning to four, I spent three full hours sharing every little detail of my time with Xie Xu with this netizen, “CP Is Real Lover.” I even exaggerated some parts for effect.
He patiently replied to me message by message.
Finally, he asked me:
[What about you? Do you like him?]
I thought about it, then replied: [I do.]
Who knew he’d start pressing me again? [When did you start liking him? Why do you like him?]
This netizen really did have the spirit of a hardcore shipper.
[In high school, I guess.]
[High school? But didn’t you dislike him quite a bit back then?]
I scrolled back through the chat history. Did the way I’d talked about the past really sound like I disliked him?
[Not really. Back then, he was well-behaved and always liked sticking to me.]
Back then, Xie Xu always liked sticking to me. Wherever I went, he followed.
I lived in a small, run-down room near the school.
So Xie Xu followed me and lived in that small, run-down room too.
One time, I really got impatient and asked him, “Do you have anywhere to go?”
Xie Xu shook his head.
“You can’t keep following me around. What about your classes?”
“It’s pretty close to school.”
“Why do you have to follow me? You’re making me look like I kidnapped a minor.”
“Being with you feels safe.”
Back then, Xie Xu and I made do by sleeping in the same bed for several nights.
As time went on, I started getting used to having him by my side.
For someone who had been an orphan since childhood, he became something beyond family to me.
