Breaking Up Was a Choice I Planned All Along - Chapter 31
Yuanyuan thought it was Meng Ce who was looking for me, but it was actually Zhou Jingnan.
“Pianpian.”
He blocked my way, his voice more desolate than ever before, with even a trace of pleading.
If it had been a week ago, I would have secretly rejoiced in my heart. But at this moment, there wasn’t the slightest ripple in me.
It’s not that I have forgiven, just that I’m too tired to care anymore.
I still mind how he once dismissed my feelings, but now, I just want to let myself go.
Meng Ce said I used to be confident and dazzling, but in fact, I’ve long lost that version of myself.
Liking someone isn’t a crime, and I don’t want to punish myself for someone else’s mistakes.
I asked him, “Do you need something?”
He hesitated for a long time, struggling to say, “Pianpian, you and Meng Ce… what’s really going on?”
I replied calmly, “Zhou Jingnan, we’ve already broken up. Whoever I’m with, whatever’s going on, it has nothing to do with you.”
“No, Pianpian, we’re not over.” He shook his head, his face full of resistance.
I didn’t want to get entangled anymore, nor did I want to give him any more hope. Let’s end it here.
“Zhou Jingnan, do you remember last winter?”
“There was a time I called you over ten times, and you didn’t pick up. That day, my grandma passed away.”
“I was in so much pain. I needed someone by my side, but I couldn’t reach you. When I rushed back overnight, I didn’t even blame you for not answering. What I was thinking was, did something happen to you?”
“I was worried about you, so the next day I took a slow green train for seven or eight hours to come back and find you. And then I saw you hugging Chen Manman.”
“No, no.” He tried desperately to hold onto me. “I can explain.”
“But I don’t need your explanation anymore,” I pried his hand off finger by finger. “Disagreements like this aren’t the only thing between us; you haven’t been here for me just once or twice. I’ve liked you for so long and still couldn’t warm you up, so I’ve made up my mind to give up.”
“Let myself go, and let you go as well.”
“Half a year ago, I’d already decided to break up. That letter I wrote you-besides the part about breaking up being true, everything else was a lie. I have always been lying to you.”
His face turned pale, the corners of his eyes flushed red, his knees slightly bent.
“Pianpian, can’t you, even if it’s just a lie, not leave me behind?”
Looking at the face I’d liked for so many years, I was completely calm: “But what can I do? I really don’t want to waste any more time on you.”
I looked at him coldly, comforting him, “It’s alright. You’ve just lost someone you never liked liking you, that’s all.”
The light in his eyes faded, inch by inch.
