Chapter 18

I don’t quite understand what this unfamiliar feeling in my heart is.

But I’ve come to really enjoy being by Pei Su’s side.

Not for my lord, but for myself – I want to stay by Pei Su’s side.

After so many years, it seems this is the first time I’ve had something I truly want to do.

A few days later, I dragged a flatbread griddle to the South Quarter.

I bought a bag of preserved greens and taught the people at the entertainment house how to knead dough and make buns.

The lively children laughed and crowded around me, teasing Lord Pei.

“Lord Pei, tell us – who is Sister Yu to you? Come on, tell us!”

Pei Su’s ears turned red, but he forced himself to remain calm, his gaze meeting mine directly.

“She is the one I love.”

My heart skipped a beat.

He looked at me, his tone steady.

“And you?” he asked. “Do you like me?”

I suppose I have fallen for Pei Su.

Since our trip to the South Quarter, he’s never hesitated to pour out his affection for me, almost as if he were afraid I might run away.

I don’t seem to mind.

I think… I like him too.

But am I allowed to like him?

As winter set in, the weather grew colder and colder.

Yaoguang City rarely saw snow, but the winters were still bitterly cold.

Every year at this time, my lord would surely be grumbling and clutching his hand warmer.

I feel that some things have to be faced sooner or later, so I might as well go back and take my punishment early.

I can’t stay at Pei Mansion any longer.

Because I can no longer keep watch over Pei Su for my lord.

I can’t go against my own heart to obey my lord’s will.

As a Shadow Guard, I would be committing an unforgivable crime. If my lord wished to kill me, I would not utter a single word of complaint.

I left a letter for Pei Su, and in the dead of night, I departed Pei Mansion and made my way to the Third Prince’s Mansion.

The night was silent all around, and the closer I got to the Third Prince’s Mansion, the slower my steps became.

In the end, I simply stopped.

In truth, I still hadn’t figured out how I should face my lord.

He hates Pei Su so much – would he make things difficult for him because of this?

He hates me so much – would he…

Would he hate me even more?

I stood frozen, and suddenly my eyes prickled.

Just then, a carriage sped past me, and I suddenly caught a whiff of pear fragrance.

Long Shuang’s pear fragrance.