Chapter 4

The hotel’s soundproofing wasn’t very good.

After lying down, I could hear the sounds of a man and woman entangled next door.

Muffled and ambiguous.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, thinking about some things.

During the year I dated Jake, two young people, it was impossible not to have desires.

He liked to kiss me, often catching me off guard, leaving me weak all over, my eyes wet and blurry, yet he would suddenly stop.

Even when the veins on his forehead were bulging, he would just push me away abruptly and lock himself in a room.

His childhood experiences left him with a certain kind of cleanliness; he wouldn’t touch someone he didn’t truly like.

At this moment, I could finally be sure-Jake had truly fallen for my younger sister.

That night I thought about a lot, yet it seemed like I thought about nothing at all. I couldn’t remember when the sounds next door stopped, nor when I fell asleep.

The next day, Jake and my younger sister came out of the same room and greeted me.

I noticed a red mark on Jake’s neck, like it had been scratched by nails.

He didn’t cover it up and gave me a slight smile.

Breakfast was on the fifth floor, and Jake considerately brought my younger sister eggs and a vegetable salad, as she was dieting recently.

My younger sister said, “What about my sister? She likes steamed dumplings and porridge.”

Just as she finished speaking, Alex placed a tray of steamed dumplings in front of me, sat down beside me, his voice husky from just waking up, “Did you sleep well?”

I shook my head, “Not too well, woke up sore all over, almost couldn’t get out of bed.”

Alex peeled a boiled egg, “That happens when you don’t exercise. We should do this every week.”

He handed the peeled egg to me.

I blinked, “You might as well kill me.”

He curved his lips.

My younger sister stretched, her expression pained, “It’s so uncomfortable, my waist feels like it’s breaking.”

Then she glared at Jake resentfully, “It’s all your fault…”

Jake massaged her lower back, yet his lips curled up, “My fault? Or your own?”

I couldn’t help but think of the sounds from last night. Was this their kind of fun?

The more I resisted, the more uncontrollably those images surfaced in my mind-they were in the room, just a wall away from me, embracing, kissing… My fingertips curled, and my heart ached. It turns out that not caring isn’t something that can be achieved just by saying so.

“Sister…” My younger sister noticed my oddness, her voice trembled a bit, and she abruptly pushed Jake’s hand away.

I looked up and smiled at them, “Let’s head back after eating.”

Alex’s eyes showed some concern.

In the parking lot, my younger sister cautiously asked me, “Do you want to ride with us?”

Alex wrapped an arm around my shoulder, “She’ll ride with me, so as not to disturb you lovebirds.”

I nodded.

Jake’s gaze was cold, staring at me without speaking.

“What’s wrong?” my younger sister asked, puzzled.

He continued to look at me, and after a while, he asked playfully in a low voice, “About to cry?”

My heart seemed to drop.

At that moment, I suddenly understood what our relationship truly was.

After returning home, I took leave from work and went on a trip alone. It felt as if the long-standing gloom over my heart had been dispelled, breaking free from that illusion of deep affection. In the end, the one who would accompany me was still myself.