Chapter 11

I stood there in a daze for a while, finally understanding her thoughts.

My hands and feet turned cold.

I was a little scared.

Really.

But at the same time, I felt a warmth in my chest.

My mother sighed.

She told me that bringing me here, she truly had no other intentions.

She was just too lonely, with no one who could understand her, until she finally met me-a soul from the same time and space as hers.

She said she had only wanted to teach me some progressive ideas, so that I wouldn’t waste my life in the future.

But now, it seems that’s no longer necessary.

This is good enough.

As for this place-

“Jin’er, this is something your mother must do. It has nothing to do with you,” my mother said seriously.

But, can it really have nothing to do with me?

After returning, I hid away in my little courtyard.

I thought about it all night.

I wondered if maybe I should just leave things as they are.

Pretend I never went there today.

Accept my fate, marry into a decent enough family.

Serving my in-laws, bearing children-

Just endure it and it will pass.

If my husband takes a concubine, I’ll just turn a blind eye.

There wouldn’t be much affection anyway.

At least I’d have someone to take care of me, and wouldn’t have to worry about food and drink.

Live out my life like that.

Pretend that the new China of my past life was just a dream, that liberation and all that are too far away.

I’m just a weak little chick born in a peaceful era.

I have no experience in fighting.

Nor do I have the ideals and convictions of my mother’s generation.

Just give up.

Forget it.

In a haze, I fell asleep.

In my dream, it seemed I really did get married, and even had a daughter.

My daughter held my hand, wanting to go out and play, but in the next moment, that hand was chopped off.

Blood splattered all over my face.

I looked up and saw that my daughter’s face had turned into Miss Li’s face.

She looked at me, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Just stood there, looking at me.