I Climbed into the Emperor's Bed to Save My Brother - Chapter 3

I quickly wrapped my arms around the emperor’s neck and, imitating *A Wicked Consort’s Guide to Self-Improvement*, put on a coy, affected voice.

“Your Majesty, it hurts.”

His concerned expression turned into a slight frown. He must have been worried I’d hurt my ankle.

I pressed my advantage, making my voice even more syrupy. “Your Majesty, it huuurts.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Xiao Cui’s constipated expression, the kind that said, *Please, one of our own, stop talking.* I nearly lost my composure.

But then I thought of that bastard Xie Yu, still eating three hundred lychees a day down in Lingnan, and my heart ached. How could he go on like that? He’d make himself sick with all that heat. We had to bring him back to the capital at once so he could learn how cruel life could be.

I opened my big, pitiful eyes and stared unblinking at the emperor. Sure enough, before long the strain filled them with tears.

In my imagination, he’d ask why my eyes were brimming. I’d spin a tale and somehow steer it toward how much our parents missed my brother.

Instead, the emperor threw out the script and rewrote the scene himself.

He hissed softly and studied me with a frown. “Ah Yuan, is something wrong with your throat?”

…

That brutally literal question made me feel as if my affected voice were stuck in my throat. I began coughing violently.

Seeing my face turn red, the emperor laid me on the bed and waved a hand. “Summon the imperial physician.”

…

Very well. If the sovereign wanted his subject ill, ill she must be.

The physician shot me a savage glare as he left. His eyes seemed to say, *We’re both working stiffs. Why make my life harder?*

The emperor glanced at my ankle, swollen like a pig’s trotter, rubbed his forehead, and asked in a low voice, “If you wanted to see me, you only had to send word. Why climb that tree?”

I knew this one! It was in *Why Is the Emperor Like That?* Whatever he asked, I had to turn my answer toward longing for him. Say I missed him, and I’d score points.

I gathered my feelings and perfectly mimicked the allure of a young lady in her chambers. “Day after day I longed for Your Majesty and couldn’t see you. I missed you so much that I forgot myself.”

A smile touched his lips. Flattery really was foolproof.

“Couldn’t see me? Ah Yuan, didn’t you see me the day before yesterday?”

Well, that attempt had failed. It didn’t count.

I shifted closer and nuzzled his neck. “Even when Your Majesty is right beside me, Ah Yuan can’t help missing you.”

After all, I was thinking constantly of how to rescue Xie Yu. It was a heavy responsibility I never dared forget.

Xiao Cui shivered in the corner. Perhaps she hadn’t slept well; the corner of her eye kept twitching. She covered her eyes and left without a word.

The emperor seemed pleased by my heartfelt performance. Smiling, he offered me a piece of peach-blossom pastry.

For reasons I couldn’t explain, I took it between my teeth and leaned toward him. I realized too late what I was doing and drew back, blushing. He caught me and pulled me close.

Our eyes met. Sparks flew!

I couldn’t speak with the pastry in my mouth. The emperor lowered his head and took the other half between his lips.

“Sweet.”

…

Who knew I’d mastered the art without a teacher? Victory was in sight, everyone!

I promptly threw myself into his arms. The rescue operation to fish Comrade Xie Yu out of the depths was about to achieve a major breakthrough. I couldn’t help laughing.

“Are you so happy to see me?”

“Yes! Does this mean that bastard Xie Yu can come home soon?” I blurted.

Oh no. I’d let it slip.

Annoyance flashed in his eyes, and even his voice cooled. “Why do you bring up your brother every time?”

I could hardly tell him I was sick of hearing how Xie Yu got to eat three hundred lychees a day. And why did His Majesty change moods so fast? Was he a dog?

“I won’t mention him again, Your Majesty. A spring night is worth a thousand gold pieces. Shall we get down to business?”

He gave me a sidelong look, snorted, then got up and walked away without turning back.

He left!

Why was getting someone into bed so hard? Did I have no dignity?

What, was Xie Yu’s name forbidden from now on?