After the Strategy Mission Failed - Chapter 1

The Demon God went into seclusion again recently. According to him, this seclusion would last at least five hundred years.
Before he left, he gave me the command token of the Demon God Palace, saying that everything was under my command and telling me to wait right here for his return.
To hell with that.
Isn’t that just asking me to live like a widow?
Five hundred years!
Even calculating by the Time Authority’s standard of ‘one day equals one year,’ that’s over a year and a half. Adding the two and a half years I already wasted trying to capture him, that’s four whole years!
How many four-year periods does a person have in life?
I’d be crazy to keep waiting for him.

Coincidentally, the Heavenly Realm and the Demon Realm were at war recently. I figured I would go to the battlefield, pretend to be beaten to death, and then perform a ‘Death Escape’ to start over in the next world. Wouldn’t that be perfect?

But when the people of the Demon God Palace heard I was going to the battlefield, they hugged my thighs, crying and wailing to persuade me otherwise.
“Left Guardian, please reconsider! Blades have no eyes on the battlefield. If something happens to you, the Demon God will take our heads when he comes out of seclusion!”
“Yes, yes! For things like fighting, just send the Right Guardian.”
“The Left Guardian only needs to stay in the Palace and direct the big picture. Why suffer on the battlefield?”
“The Left Guardian is our stabilizer. As long as you are in the Demon God Palace, we are invincible and ever-victorious!”

038 screamed frantically in my brain.
“Host, don’t be soft-hearted! Think about how we spent these last eight hundred years!”
Hearing this, I rested my chin on my hand and pondered.
The life I lived these past eight hundred years…
It was nothing more than throwing my weight around in the Demon Realm, sleeping until I woke up naturally, and checking out the Demon God’s eight-pack abs when he was training during my post-meal walks, followed by getting frustrated…
Damn it! The more I think about it, the angrier I get.
Eight hundred years, and I couldn’t seal the deal.
The nosebleeds I’ve had every day could form a River of Forgetfulness.
If this goes on, wouldn’t I die of blood loss?
Sooner or later everyone dies. I might as well die on the battlefield. Maybe I’ll even make it into the history books, making my trip to this world worthwhile.

So, three days later, I appeared on the battlefield wearing a lowly soldier’s armor.
Coincidentally, the one leading the Heavenly Realm’s troops this time was an acquaintance—my cheap Senior Brother from my cultivation days.
Although we came from the same sect, we were polarized opposites, black and white.
He was the High God Xuan Lin, descended from the Heavens to undergo a tribulation, while I was a demoness born to fall into darkness.
Originally, our paths shouldn’t have crossed, but he just had to become my Senior Brother, becoming one of my few nightmares.
A cold-hearted, ice-faced man who kept a straight face all day and forced me to cultivate.
It was truly a sin from a past life that I bowed to the same Master as him.
It serves him right that after returning to the Heavenly Realm, that Jade Pool Fairy called off their engagement.

I crouched on the battlefield for half a day until finally, Xuan Lin used his ultimate move.
Ice shards fell from the sky across the entire map, attacking the Demon Army.
The Right Guardian raised his shield in a sorry state, attempting to block the blow, but he was already a spent force. How could he block it?
Just as the Demon Army fell into despair…
I descended like a god, opening a blood-energy barrier and saving these demon citizens who were usually oppressed by me.
After all, if you play the game, you have to pay the price eventually.
By the time Xuan Lin realized something was wrong, I had lost all my essence blood and fell from mid-air.

“Qiao Sang!”
His usually cold and stern voice was laced with panic for the first time.
He caught my falling body, his face full of disbelief.
“It really is you… how could it be you…”
“Yo, Senior Brother. Long time no see.”
I greeted him with feigned ease, but as soon as I spoke, I vomited a mouthful of blood right onto Xuan Lin’s icy face.
He froze in place instantly.
So satisfying.

“Oh my! My ancestor! Why did you run over here to play!”
The Right Guardian ran over, stumbling. His true form was a water duck, so his wailing was exceptionally ugly to hear.
“How could you be hurt like this? Where is the Heart-Protecting Scale the Demon God gave you? Don’t tell this lowly one you forgot to bring it, Gaa.”
“Shut up!”
“Wu wu wu.”

The border, having just been subjected to the ice shards, was extremely beautiful. The dark clouds dispersed, revealing a clear sky reflecting the magnificent river of blood.
My body began to gradually dissipate. Xuan Lin completely lost his composure.
“Where is your Heart-Protecting Scale?”
He questioned me with a trembling voice. I smiled.
“Senior Brother, I have a bad memory. I forgot to bring it.”
“No, that’s impossible. You have the Demon King bloodline, how could you so easily…”
Xuan Lin desperately poured his cultivation into me, but it was of no use.
“Qiao Sang.” His eyes suddenly turned red, calling my name over and over. “How could you do this?”
Something warm hit my face. My eyes widened as I looked at Xuan Lin, who was shedding tears like falling pearls. I felt the whole world becoming surreal.
038 screamed: “Holy crap!!! What kind of ‘cold aloof senior brother dragged down to the mortal dust by me’ drama is this?!”
I twitched the corner of my mouth: “You read too many novels!”
I was annoyed by Xuan Lin’s crying, so I kept urging 038: “Quick, quick, TP (teleport) me away! I don’t want to stay in this crappy place for another second!”
“Ah, so rushed? Not going to say a final goodbye to Senior Brother?”
“Goodbye my ass!”
“Alright!” 038 sighed. “Host, congratulations on your successful Death Escape. Countdown to teleportation to the new world starts now.”
“Ten, nine, eight, seven…”
“No, no! Qiao Sang!”
Xuan Lin’s eyes were crimson as he tightly hugged my dissipating body.
“Three, two, one… Teleportation initiated!”