After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me - Chapter 52 - I Want to Give Myself a Chance and Lu's Past

After hanging up the phone, I sent a message to Lu, telling him which floor and ward I was in.

Lu arrived quickly. I had just finished having my blood drawn in the emergency room when he rushed in.

Seeing me on the hospital bed, he was momentarily stunned, and then his handsome face was instantly filled with concern and helplessness.

He strode over to my bedside, his dark eyes fixed on me. “How did you end up like this?”

I couldn’t bear to meet Lu’s intense gaze, so I turned my head away, feeling guilty, and said nothing.

“Was it that person?” His voice was deep and cold. Although Lu was trying hard to control his emotions, his clenched fists betrayed how angry he was.

I couldn’t let Lu worry about me anymore.

“…I was just careless,” I lied, hoping to brush it off.

“You can’t fool me. It was that Song Yu, wasn’t it?” Lu’s tone was extremely certain.

I suddenly looked up at him, my eyes full of shock.

I had never mentioned a word about Song Yu to Lu. How did he know about him?

Lu saw what I was thinking and continued, “Are you wondering how I know?”

I nodded slowly.

Lu tilted his head back and let out a bitter laugh. “After you left with that person that night, rumors spread throughout the Royal Dynasty, saying you were involved with someone. I didn’t believe it at first because you told me you were just working as an assistant.”

“I believed you completely.”

“Until Qin Naisheng came to apologize to me, that’s when I realized you really…” Lu lowered his eyes, his words filled with sorrow.

I bit my lower lip, murmuring, “I’m sorry, Lu…”

I betrayed your trust.

“It’s okay, it’s all in the past.” Lu reached out and pulled my head into his embrace, gently stroking my hair.

At that moment, a nurse walked into the room with lab results and surgical forms, addressing Lu, “Are you the family member?”

Lu replied, “I am.”

The nurse handed Lu a pen and pointed to the surgical consent form, saying, “Then sign here. The tests show his liver and kidney functions are normal, so he can undergo surgery.”

Lu took the form from the nurse and examined it closely, his face growing paler, his hand trembling slightly as he held the paper.

I lowered my head in shame, knowing Lu must have seen the details about my condition.

Having once firmly rejected his confession, now I was in this state, and he had to bear the consequences.

I felt utterly worthless.

I expected Lu to mock me or call me an idiot after reading it, but instead, he said nothing and signed the surgical form swiftly.

“Nurse, is this surgery dangerous?” Lu asked nervously.

The nurse pointed to the form in her hand, a bit impatiently, “It’s written right here.”

Lu smiled, persistent, “Miss, I just don’t understand.”

Being complimented by a stranger, the nurse’s tone softened considerably. “It’s not a major surgery. Generally, there’s nothing to worry about, just be careful during recovery to avoid tearing and infection.”

Hearing the nurse’s reassurance, Lu finally relaxed and warmly escorted her out of the room.

“Lu!” I called out to him.

At that moment, there were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t know where to start. My mouth opened, but all that came out was his name.

“Does it hurt?” he asked me.

My eyes suddenly welled up with tears, my nose tingling with a sour sensation, and I replied with a choked “yes.”

Lu walked over, his face still as gentle as ever. “The surgery is about to start. Once it’s done, the pain will go away soon.”

Hearing him say that made my heart ache even more.

“Lu, I’m terrible. I don’t deserve to be your friend. You must hate me,” I said, my head bowed, tears streaming down.

These were my true feelings.

Even I despised myself now, and I felt utterly ashamed to expect Lu to treat me as he used to.

Lu wiped away my tears, speaking like a caring older brother, “Silly, don’t overthink. Just focus on getting better. Nothing else matters.”

I looked at him, my gaze filled with reliance, and finally nodded.

At that moment, two nurses came in to wheel in the stretcher. I nervously gripped Lu’s hand, and he squeezed back, reassuring me softly, “Don’t worry. The nurse said it’s just a minor surgery. It won’t hurt.”

I took a deep breath, as if to bolster myself, and nodded firmly.

Lu and the nurses helped me into the operating room.

I lay naked, curled up on the cold operating table, arms wrapped around my knees like a shrimp, waiting for the anesthetist to administer the anesthesia.

The cool, damp disinfectant swab rubbed quickly across my back twice, and I bit down on my fist, barely daring to breathe.

Especially when I saw the anesthetist pick up a thick, long needle and move behind me, my body trembled with fear.

“Don’t move, or if it goes in wrong, we’ll have to redo it,” the anesthetist warned, half-jokingly.

His words genuinely scared me, and I froze like a statue, not daring to budge.

The next moment, a sharp pain spread from above my waist, making me let out a muffled groan, my back instantly drenched in cold sweat.

I thought the pain from the nurse cleaning my intestines earlier was bad enough, but the anesthesia needle was even worse.

But soon, I lost feeling in my lower body. The doctor laid me flat on the operating table, my waist elevated, and my hands and feet secured to the four corners of the surgical bed. Then, they inserted an anti-inflammatory needle into the back of my hand.

The doctor performing the surgery was the same female doctor who had examined me earlier. I watched as she picked up a metal tube as thick as a baby’s arm and inserted it between my legs, making my hair stand on end.

Thankfully, I couldn’t feel any pain, just a bit of pressure.

I thought the “minor surgery” the nurse mentioned would be over in an hour or so, but I ended up lying there for nearly two hours.

Since I wasn’t under general anesthesia, I could clearly hear the female doctor’s words.

“Is the person outside your boyfriend?” she asked.

“Huh?” I was momentarily stunned.

The female doctor continued as she carefully stitched me up, “This rectal prolapse isn’t a minor issue. You need to make sure your partner takes it seriously.”

“Even if you recover, you must be cautious. Otherwise, this could happen again.”

I finally understood what the doctor was implying. She thought the person responsible for my condition was Lu.

“Doctor, you’ve misunderstood. He’s just a friend,” I quickly explained.

The female doctor raised an eyebrow and glanced at me, puzzled. “…Then where’s your boyfriend? Isn’t he responsible for this?”

I lowered my eyes, saying nothing, feeling even more bitter inside.

The person who did this to me is probably sleeping soundly in someone else’s arms right now.

Seeing that I didn’t want to talk, the doctor didn’t press further. She muttered to herself about how young people like us don’t know how to take care of our bodies, only seeking momentary pleasure, and how we’d regret it in a few years.

At that moment, I felt like I’d swallowed a bitter pill, unable to express my grievances.

But it was all my own doing, and I couldn’t deny it.

I deserved it.

After the surgery, I was wheeled out of the operating room.

Lu rushed over as soon as he saw me, his eyes scanning me up and down, worried he might miss anything.

“How did it go? Was everything smooth?”

I smiled and nodded.

Lu let out a sigh of relief, repeatedly saying, “That’s good, that’s good.”

“I’m sorry, Lu, for making you worry.”

Looking at Lu, my heart was filled with emotions. He was so gentle, so pure, always treating me with kindness without any ulterior motives, just like when we first met.

In that instant, I suddenly felt that being with Lu might be a kind of happiness.

Lu playfully pouted, “Then stay by my side. If I watch over you every day, I won’t have to worry.”

I blushed, my eyes unconsciously darting to the nurse pushing the stretcher, and I glared at him in mock anger, “…There are so many people here.”

I couldn’t bear to reject Lu anymore, or perhaps I wanted to give myself a chance.

Maybe only this way could I truly escape the shadow Song Yu cast over me.

Seeing that I didn’t respond with a cold refusal, Lu became so excited he was almost incoherent, “Bai Yu, you… you… you’re agreeing…”

“Are you still talking?” I retorted, my face already flushed red.

Hearing the two nurses nearby giggle, Lu finally realized the situation, scratching his head with a sheepish grin, his handsome and boyish face creating a charming contrast.

He was especially adorable.

Although Lu was only three years older than me, he was much more mature. He came from the mountains of Guizhou¹, and at twelve, he ran off to Guiyang to find work. Being so young, he couldn’t get a proper job, so he ended up washing dishes in small alleyway restaurants, earning just enough for food and a place to sleep.

As he grew older, he started stealing scrap metal from construction sites with some street kids. Although it was quick money, it was dangerous, and he was caught and beaten several times. But he persisted, saying he was like a stray pup back then, just trying to make money to fill his stomach, and a few beatings wouldn’t kill him.

I remember the most profound thing he told me: “Eating a bun with blood, the taste is wickedly satisfying.”

Though he said it with a smile, I knew he must have been crying back then.

Later, Lu handed out flyers, set up street stalls, and worked in a plastic factory making packaging bags. But because the factory was unregulated, with chemical levels exceeding safe limits, his nails became deformed, and despite the high pay, he had to leave.

Eventually, he was introduced to work as a doorman at a KTV, gradually getting involved in the nightlife, and finally becoming a young master selling drinks in a nightclub.

He was only eighteen at the time.

Counting the years, he’s been in this scene for five years now.

Footnote:

1. Guizhou(贵州): A mountainous province in Southwest China. Guiyang (贵阳) is its capital city.