After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me - Chapter 103 - The Final Chapter

Song Yu accompanied me to Lu’s hometown, Guiyang, Mao County, a small town nestled deep in the mountains.

We didn’t meet Lu’s father, only his mother. Though she had aged beyond recognition, one could still see that she must have been quite a beauty in her youth, much like Lu.

Their home was impoverished. I thought that after Lu’s death, his parents might have come into some money and their lives would improve. However, Lu’s mother said most of the money went to pay off debts, and some was gambled away by Lu’s father, who hadn’t returned home for over half a year, leaving his fate unknown.

When his mother spoke, her expression was numb, as if she were talking about someone else’s family. I finally understood why Lu had been reluctant to send extra money home before. This family was like a bottomless abyss, impossible to fill. It was hard to imagine how Lu managed to live in such a home; if there had been even a bit of warmth, he might not have left so early to work outside.

Thinking of this, my heart grew increasingly desolate. Lu’s life had been too bitter.

I found a local craftsman skilled in carving tombstones for Lu, to engrave his name and memory. I also invited the abbot from the temple to perform rites for Lu, hoping that in his next life, he would find a good family and not suffer as he did in this one.

Standing before Lu’s grave, I spoke to him at length, mostly expressing my remorse, hoping he could forgive me. Song Yu also offered flowers to Lu, conveying his apologies.

After the rites, I went to the temple to fulfill my vow, donating a substantial amount of incense money. As I was leaving, the abbot gifted me a white jade pendant, fine as coagulated fat, about the size of a quail egg, which he tied to my wrist. I asked if it held any special meaning, and the abbot simply said the jade had found its destined owner, advising me to keep it close.

Upon leaving the temple, the female guide accompanying us mentioned that the abbot often gave small tokens to those who donated generously, suggesting it was a customary gesture and not to take it seriously. I looked at the pendant, engraved with scriptures, and found it beautiful, so I accepted it.

Seeing me holding the pendant fondly, Song Yu chuckled, “Do you really believe in this?”

I looked at him in surprise, “You don’t?”

Song Yu scoffed, “No.”

“Aren’t businessmen supposed to be devoted to gods, feng shui, and such?”

“That’s just to fool those who want to gain without effort. My business is built on my hard work. In the face of absolute strength, luck is merely a seasoning, optional. Strength is what truly matters.”

“Mm.”

Song Yu ruffled my hair, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just thinking you’re really impressive,” I muttered, lowering my head.

Song Yu was right; everything he had was earned through his own efforts. In comparison, I was the fool hoping to gain without effort.

“You’re impressive too,” Song Yu echoed.

“You’re just teasing me. I don’t know what’s impressive about me.”

Song Yu leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “You’re impressive everywhere. When Chi Jin kidnapped you, I didn’t even care about Huanya anymore. You still think you’re not impressive? You’re simply irresistible.”

“You… What nonsense are you talking!” I blushed furiously, standing still and staring at Song Yu.

“Alright, alright, I won’t tease you anymore. People are watching,” Song Yu pointed to the female guide leading us.

Sure enough, the young girl stood ahead, smiling with pursed lips. To avoid being laughed at, I reluctantly decided not to argue with Song Yu.

This trip to Guiyang was partly to erect a tombstone for Lu, and partly to seize the opportunity for Song Yu and me to travel and relax together. Previously, it was either me receiving treatment in the hospital or him busy with company affairs, leaving no time for us to go out and enjoy ourselves. Finally, we had the chance to savor our time together, and both Song Yu and I cherished it.

Guiyang wasn’t a bustling metropolis or a tourist hotspot, but the local ethnic minorities were a distinctive feature of the area’s tourism, offering a glimpse into their simple customs and traditions.

Coincidentally, Song Yu and I arrived during the local Harvest Festival.

People donned ancient ethnic costumes to celebrate the festival, with a man and woman playing the roles of “Harvest King and Harvest Queen.” Amidst cheers, they held a plump ear of corn and a golden sheaf of rice, respectively, reporting the year’s harvest and congratulating the community on a bountiful crop.

At night, the elders organized a bonfire, praying to burn away the year’s evil spirits for favorable weather. People gathered around the fire, singing and dancing, with many young men taking the opportunity to express their feelings to the women they admired through song, and many tourists joining in.

Song Yu and I were swept up in the lively atmosphere. The female guide borrowed two Miao¹ shirts and hair accessories from the village chief for us. The smaller one was a gold-threaded red blouse, and the larger one was a gold-threaded blue blouse, both embroidered with dragon, phoenix, and floral totems, vibrant and festive.

“Bai, do you think we look like we’re wearing wedding clothes now?” Song Yu joked.

“Who’s wearing wedding clothes with you, you show-off.” I glared at Song Yu and dove into the crowd to sing and play around the bonfire.

Suddenly, the crowd dispersed, encircling me, cheering and singing tribal songs, while Song Yu was pushed to the front by a group of young men not far away.

In an instant, we became the center of attention.

Just as I was wondering what was happening, the surrounding noise quieted down.

Song Yu walked towards me, knelt on one knee, and held up a ring, his eyes filled with deep love, “Bai, marry me.”

My mind went blank. Was Song Yu proposing to me?

“Bai, I want you to be my wife. I want to spend my life with you. Everyone here is my witness. I will treat you well, cherish you, love you, and never let you suffer any grievances.”

“–So, marry me, Bai.”

“Marry him, marry him, marry him…” everyone egged me on to marry Song Yu.

On a moonlit, starry night, by the bonfire, faces beaming with heartfelt blessings, vows of love, a beautiful scene as if from a painting, all waiting for my nod.

— But I refused.

“I’m sorry!” Amidst everyone’s stunned silence, I pushed through the crowd and ran away. I couldn’t bear to look at Song Yu’s hurt eyes; I feared my heart would ache to death.

I didn’t accept Song Yu’s proposal not because I didn’t want to. In fact, I wanted to marry him more than anyone. But I couldn’t.

My illness could worsen at any moment. If I were lucky, I might live for a few more years; if not, I might be gone in a few months. I couldn’t give Song Yu a complete future. Rather than have him linger on because of marriage, it was better to refuse him decisively now.

Though it would be painful, it would only be temporary.

——

Not long after I returned to the hotel, Song Yu also returned.

I sat on the edge of the bed in the bedroom, my head bowed, feeling incredibly sad. Song Yu walked in and stood before me. I looked at his shoetips and sobbed softly.

Song Yu slowly crouched down, his gaze slightly lower than mine.

“Bai.”

This single utterance of “Bai” was filled with so much emotion that it instantly broke through my last defense.

I lunged towards Song Yu, kissing his lips. Song Yu responded with equal passion, and we clung to each other like two long-starved animals, tearing at each other.

Before long, our clothes were all shed.

After a passionate encounter, Song Yu lay on top of me and said softly, “Bai, I love you.”

I hooked my arms around Song Yu’s neck and moaned weakly, “I love you too.”

That night, Song Yu didn’t torment me endlessly as he had before, because my body could no longer handle it. After holding me and cleaning me, Song Yu fell asleep.

I curled up in his arms, feeling the warmth and security he provided. We embraced each other like conjoined twins, falling into a deep sleep.

Song Yu didn’t mention the proposal again, because at that moment, nothing was more important than the present we shared.

Song Yu and I spent a happy year together. Our affection for each other grew day by day. Song Yu took me almost everywhere, even to shareholders’ meetings, ensuring I was always within his sight, as if afraid of missing even a glance.

I knew he had his concerns and worries.

Because in the past few months, my health had been deteriorating, and the uncontrollable illness had aggressively taken over, completely crushing my health.

Later, I could no longer accompany Song Yu. He pushed aside all his work and spent every day with me. I tried to persuade him, but he wouldn’t listen, so I eventually let him have his way.

Then, I could no longer walk. I spent my days in a wheelchair, but my appearance didn’t change much. I had refused the grueling chemotherapy, wanting to die beautifully.

Song Yu pushed me daily for walks on Mei Mountain behind his villa. Mei Mountain had a man-made boardwalk, and many morning runners enjoyed going there to watch the sunrise.

Song Yu also took me to watch the sunrise every day, but he never watched the sunset. I secretly laughed at his childishness, his belief in such superstitions.

Another six months passed, and my body completely failed. I could no longer hear with my left ear or see with my left eye, but I didn’t tell Song Yu, fearing he would be heartbroken.

Because on those nights when I couldn’t sleep due to the torment of illness, I could hear Song Yu secretly crying while holding me. But I dared not respond, only continuing to feign sleep, shedding silent tears.

Soon after, I lost hearing in my other ear as well. I couldn’t even eat food anymore. Only my right eye could vaguely perceive some light. I had to rely on nutrient drips to maintain my bodily functions.

I knew my life had reached its end.

Later, my mind was mostly hazy. One afternoon, I finally regained a bit of clarity.

“Song Yu, I want… to go to Mei Mountain,” I said weakly, unsure if he could hear me clearly.

“Bai, Mei Mountain is far. I’m afraid you’ll be tired.”

I traced the shape of Song Yu’s lips, guessing what he was saying.

“Song Yu, I haven’t been out in a long time. Take me for a walk,” I pleaded pitifully, clutching Song Yu’s sleeve.

Song Yu hesitated for a moment, then agreed.

“Song Yu, I haven’t been out in a long time. Dress me up handsomely. After all, I’m more than ten years younger than you; I can’t be outshone by you,” I teased him with a smile.

Song Yu’s eyes reddened, and he nodded.

It was early autumn, and the weather wasn’t hot. There was still a slight chill on the mountain. Song Yu carried me to the wheelchair, covered my legs with a blanket. My head could no longer stay propped up, so I leaned back against the chair.

Mei Mountain wasn’t large; it took about half an hour to walk to the summit. But each time Song Yu pushed me, it took an hour.

Before, when we went to Mei Mountain together, we chatted the entire way, and the path didn’t seem long at all. This time, Song Yu was the only one talking. I couldn’t hear him, and not being able to respond made the path feel incredibly long.

When we reached the summit, the sun had already begun to set, but it still cast a faint golden glow, as if unwilling to bid farewell to the world.

This was my first time seeing the sunset on Mei Mountain. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

I pointed to a patch of purple wildflowers on the mountainside and said, “Song Yu, I want to sit there.”

Song Yu glanced at the flower patch, then carried me down from the wheelchair. He sat on the grass with me, embracing me from behind, letting me lean into his chest.

The sun was setting, a gentle breeze brushed my face, and a few birds occasionally flew by.

It was so beautiful.

How I wished time would freeze at this very moment.

“Song Yu, do you think people have afterlives?”

I didn’t know if Song Yu could hear me, but I continued speaking to myself, “If there’s a next life, I don’t want to be a man. I want to be a woman and have a bunch of children for you…”

“Oh, no, you don’t like women. Then I’ll just continue being a man.”

After saying that, I felt a pang of regret, “Never mind. If there’s a next life, I hope you won’t like me anymore.”

“I only like you, that’s enough.”

“I really, really like you, Song Yu. From the first night I saw you, I liked you.”

“I like you so much…”

“I like you so much… I like you so much…”

In the end, I felt my breath growing weaker, yet there were so many things I liked about you that I hadn’t said.

What should I do?

But I’m really… so tired, so sleepy, I just want to sleep.

The sun has set.

I’m sorry, Song Yu, I really can’t hold on…

My hand, holding Song Yu’s, slowly fell, and the white jade pendant tied to my wrist shattered into two pieces…

I always thought that when a person dies, there’s nothing left. Until I stood next to Song Yu, watching him cry uncontrollably while holding my body, did I realize that there is a soul after death, only separated by the realms of life and death.

Song Yu held my corpse at the top of Mei Mountain for an entire night, without eating, drinking, or speaking.

It wasn’t until the next morning that he pushed me down the mountain, still chatting and talking to me as if I were alive, just asleep.

I floated lightly behind Song Yu. I couldn’t touch him, couldn’t speak, even though my heart ached unbearably, I couldn’t shed a tear, only witnessing everything like a spectator.

Back home, Song Yu called the hospital, and soon the emergency ambulance arrived at the villa. Song Yu cleaned me up thoroughly, helped the doctors lift me onto the vehicle, and then went to handle various formalities and proofs.

I thought he would be very sad, but he didn’t show any pain throughout, just methodically arranging everything after my death.

Perhaps that night on the mountain was already his farewell.

When a person dies, they vanish like smoke; dead is dead, and the living must continue to live.

This way, I can leave peacefully.

My body was cremated two days later. My mom and sister attended my funeral.

The funeral was small, with only a few close relatives and Song Yu, the only outsider being Luo Yewen.

My mom cried until her voice was hoarse, dazed and confused, barely able to stand with relatives supporting her. Seeing my portrait in the center of the mourning hall, she couldn’t help but cry again.

My sister didn’t understand, but seeing my mom cry, she cried along too.

Song Yu didn’t cry. In fact, since coming down from Mei Mountain, he hadn’t shed a single tear.

I was still somewhat sad, after all, I liked him so much, yet after my death, he didn’t mourn for even two days. Truly heartless.

Ah, damn Song Yu, I worried about you in all sorts of ways before I died, only to find out it was all one-sided.

Alright, alright, who told me to like you so much.

Song Yu held my urn and said to my mother, “Auntie, Bai Yu said before he passed that he didn’t want to be buried underground; he wanted his ashes scattered in the sea, so I hope you can agree to let me take Bai’s ashes.”

My mom looked at my urn, crying so hard she couldn’t speak a complete sentence, only nodding in agreement.

After the funeral, Song Yu drove my sister and mom back to the old home in the fishing village, preparing to scatter my ashes into the sea the next day.

I also have to say goodbye to my family.

The next morning, Song Yu drove my mom and sister to the port at Deer Skull Cliff.

It was a clear day, with blue skies and white clouds, the sea breeze blowing, seagulls circling in the sky, and waves crashing against the cliff with a swishing sound.

Song Yu rented a speedboat and took my mom and sister out to sea. In a remote area away from people, Song Yu asked the captain to stop the boat.

The sea here was bluer and clearer. Song Yu stood at the edge of the deck, put on the engagement ring, then threw another ring into the sea, opened my urn, and the sea breeze blew, sending a fine dust like white sand swirling out, kissing the faces of Song Yu, my mother, and sister.

Goodbye, my beloved family.

——BAD ENDING

Quiet, so quiet.

I slowly opened my eyes, finding myself in complete darkness, with only a golden door ahead.

Where is this?

Heaven or hell?

Then a noisy clamor came from the golden door, drawing me closer step by step.

The closer I got, the more familiar the door seemed.

Could it be the door to Royal Dynasty?

I walked over and gently pushed the door open, a dazzling light flashed, and I instinctively closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes again, someone bumped into me.

Zhang Chenyang patted my shoulder, shouting, “Bai Yu, what are you standing there for? There’s an order, the manager’s been calling for ages, I’m going first.”

Lu made a phone gesture from not far away, indicating for me to call him after work to go home together.

What’s going on?

How am I at Royal Dynasty?

Colleagues around me rushed towards the private room, bumping into me left and right, and I suddenly fell into a firm embrace.

The familiar scent of cold mountain cologne.

In an instant, my mind emitted a long beep, countless unknown images flooded into my mind.

That day, after Song Yu scattered my ashes into the sea, he sent my mother and sister home, then drove alone back to Hai City.

Along the way, a large truck driving in the opposite direction was following its route, and Song Yu suddenly accelerated, crashing straight into the truck, flipping over the mountain and dying on the spot, clutching my broken white jade pendant, followed by a flash of white light…

My tears couldn’t hold back, and I looked up, crying and laughing at the person in front of me.

Song Yu wiped away my tears, smiling warmly, “I’m late, Bai.”

I choked back tears, smiling through them, “Not late, just in time.”

——Parallel World HAPPY ENDING

Footnote:

1. Miao(苗族):An ethnic group primarily residing in southern China, as well as parts of Southeast Asia (e.g., Vietnam, Laos, Thailand). They are renowned for their rich cultural heritage, distinctive language, vibrant traditional clothing (often featuring intricate embroidery and silver ornaments), unique music, and colorful festivals.