After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me - Chapter 102 - My First Video Call with Song Yu

After hearing my explanation, my mom still didn’t feel reassured. She kept a stern face: “Anyway, I don’t like him. He’s only seven years younger than me. What should I call him? Brother or son? When he came to our house for New Year, he said he was born in ’88, thirty-five years old, and you’re only twenty-one. Is this appropriate?”

After hearing my explanation, my mom still didn’t feel reassured. She kept a stern face: “Anyway, I don’t like him. He’s only seven years younger than me. What should I call him? Brother or son? When he came to our house for New Year, he said he was born in ’88, thirty-five years old, and you’re only twenty-one. Is this appropriate?”

“Can you guys last long?”

I didn’t know if we could last long; I only knew my mom’s mind was thinking way ahead. “Mom, what are you thinking? I never said I was going to marry him. What’s with all this talk about lasting long or not? We’re just dating now, and you’re making it sound like we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Besides, your son is so handsome. What if one day I fall for someone else and kick him to the curb? Right?”

After hearing me say this, my mom’s expression softened a bit. Ha, indeed, no matter how bad one’s own child is, it’s okay, but not someone else’s.

“Alright, Mom, let’s go eat. I have to visit Fei in the afternoon.”

My mom gave me a proud glare before reluctantly following me to the living room for lunch.

After lunch, my mom took me to Fei’s hospital, which was just a ten-minute taxi ride away.

At the hospital, Fei was undergoing hyperbaric oxygen therapy, so we could only wait outside the chamber. My mom was worried that Fei might be scared when she saw me, so she advised me not to stand too close. I nodded in agreement.

Half an hour later, Fei came out of the hyperbaric chamber accompanied by a doctor. As soon as she saw my mom, she grabbed her hand and cried out, seemingly scared and clearly not fond of the hospital environment.

I stood a few meters away, watching my sister from a distance. Her face was still clean and fair, and after not seeing her for over half a year, she seemed to have grown more beautiful, with features similar to mine, delicate and charming. But her eyes were vacant, and her behavior was abnormal.

A mix of emotions filled my heart. Fei should be in school now, with a few close friends, chatting about gossip, chasing stars, dreaming the dreams of a teenage girl, then getting into a desired university, falling in love, working, marrying, having children, and living a happy life.

But all of this was shattered by those bastards. It’s my fault; I couldn’t protect my sister, letting her suffer those terrifying and disgusting things.

It’s all my fault.

Perhaps sensing my gaze, Fei glanced at me, her expression dazed and timid, hiding behind my mom. My mom hugged Fei and said something to her, but Fei shook her head like a rattle, showing strong resistance.

My mom looked at me, pursed her lips, and shook her head, indicating that Fei didn’t want to talk to me now.

I lowered my eyes in disappointment and left the hospital. My mom stayed with Fei a while longer before leaving the hospital. On the way, she told me she had arranged with the doctor to take Fei back to the fishing village at the end of the month.

I suggested buying a house for her in Hai City so she could stay there, as the conditions in the old home were limited, and the facilities and medical care weren’t as developed as in Hai City.

My mom said Fei had lived in the old home for over ten years, and the familiar environment would help her recovery. The doctor also recommended that Fei live in a safe area, which might gradually trigger recognition from deep within her memory.

Seeing my mom’s firm stance, I didn’t say anything more, thinking that when she returned home, I would renovate the old house to make it more comfortable for them.

That night, I stayed at home. Song Yu, worried my mom would get angry if she saw him, dropped off the medicine I needed at the downstairs supermarket and left.

That night, my mom and I talked until one in the morning before going to bed. During those hours, I was almost constantly explaining my relationship with Song Yu, hoping my mom would change her view of him. After my persistent efforts, my mom finally stopped jumping at the mention of Song Yu’s name.

Returning to my bedroom, I lay exhausted on the bed. Just as I turned off the bedside lamp to sleep, I remembered Song Yu had asked me to send him a video before sleeping. But it was almost one o’clock now; he might have already gone to sleep.

As I hesitated with my phone, wondering whether to send it, the WeChat notification sound ‘ding’ rang. It was a message from Song Yu.

–Bai, are you asleep? I’m still waiting for you.

My lips curled into a smile, and I rolled over on the bed, quickly replying: “Not asleep, just finished chatting with my mom and returned to my room.”

–Did you take your medicine? Is your stomach uncomfortable?

“I took it. My stomach isn’t very uncomfortable, just a bit bloated. Maybe I drank too much fish soup tonight, but it’s okay. It’ll be fine soon.”

–That’s good.

–Bai, I miss you, miss you very much.

“Only one night apart, and you’re like this? Tsk tsk, President Song, where’s your restraint? Where’s your calm?”

–It disappeared when I met you.

“Ew, so cheesy.”

–But you like it.

“Alright, I admit I do like it.” I typed back with a grin.

At that moment, Song Yu sent a video call request, and I accepted it without hesitation.

On the other side of the video, Song Yu was leaning against the headboard, resting his head on his hand, bare-chested. The angle perfectly captured his face and chest muscles. I chuckled inwardly, thinking he must have posed for a long time before sending it to me.

“Bai.”

“Ah–what are you doing? Seducing me with your looks?”

“Not a handsome guy anymore, just an old man.” Song Yu looked heartbroken.

“How could that be? You’re very handsome.”

As soon as I said it, I realized Song Yu was referring to my mom’s comments about his age earlier in the day.

“What’s wrong? Are you upset because my mom said you’re old?” I asked with a laugh.

“What your mom said is true,” Song Yu replied, sounding aggrieved.

“True or not, it doesn’t matter. I like you, that’s enough.”

“Really? Bai, do you mean it?”

“Of course I do. Why would I lie to you? I’m not like you, always scheming and making people dizzy.”

Song Yu fell silent.

I knew I’d touched on something that made him uncomfortable again, so I quickly changed the topic, “Alright, I won’t tease you anymore. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Song Yu immediately grew serious. “Go ahead.”

“I want to put up a gravestone for Lu in his hometown.”

Song Yu was startled for a moment, then replied, “Okay.”

“As his lover.”

Song Yu’s face darkened instantly, but he didn’t refuse outright.

I knew this made him feel bad, but I always felt guilty toward Lu. He loved me so deeply, and yet ended up like that. Now that I’m with Song Yu, if I don’t bring closure to this relationship, I won’t ever find peace–not even in death.

“I’m sorry, Song Yu, I know that–”

“I agree!”

“!!!”

I had prepared a whole string of explanations, but didn’t get to use a single word.

Song Yu smiled gently and magnanimously. “That’s how it should be. Whenever you want to go, I’ll go with you.”

A little surprised, I asked, “You… you’re not angry?”

Song Yu shook his head slightly. “No, just a little regretful. He was so young, too. I was partly responsible for what happened. You’re doing the right thing.”

“Thank you, Song Yu.” I was grateful for his understanding.

“Don’t thank me. If you want to thank me, show me something real,” Song Yu said with a meaningful smile.

I cleared my throat and mumbled, “What… what do you want… that’s real?”

Song Yu thought for a moment, then finally just said, “Forget it, go to bed early. We have to go to the hospital tomorrow for your follow-up and record your case.”

“Song Yu!”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s… make love, on… video.” My face burned so hot it felt like a live coal.

I knew what Song Yu wanted to say. He was a man, and so was I. In over a month of being together, Song Yu had never crossed the line, not even when we slept side by side in the same bed.

Several times in the middle of the night, I groggily heard him sneak into the bathroom to take a cold shower. I knew he’d been holding back all this time, afraid that with my weak health, I couldn’t handle it.

“Bai, you…” Song Yu clearly hadn’t expected me to bring this up. His expression was a mix of shock and delight.

“If you don’t want to, forget it.” I bit my lip so hard I almost drew blood.

A smile quickly spread across Song Yu’s face. He set his phone at the head of the bed. “Then you can’t back out halfway through the video.”

I snorted disdainfully, “I won’t.”

It’s not like I haven’t done it before, how could I be scared of a virtual video?

But as it turned out, I was still too young.

Faced with Song Yu’s instructions, I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl into a hole.

“Song Yu, you’re too much. I’m done.” Blushing and panting, I held my phone. I’d twisted my body nearly into a pretzel to keep up with his requests.

“Baby, you promised you wouldn’t quit halfway,” Song Yu laughed.

I had to admit, my body was really flexible–pushing my limits again and again. From the bed to the floor, we kept at it for almost four hours, until dawn was breaking before we finally stopped.

I slept half the day after that. When I woke up, I saw Song Yu had messaged me saying he’d booked plane tickets to Guiyang for the day after tomorrow. It took me a second to remember the gravestone for Lu that we’d talked about the night before.

I called him right away, telling him there was no need to rush. Song Yu simply told me to come downstairs–he was waiting for me across the street from my building.

I got up to wash. As I brushed my teeth, a sudden wave of nausea hit me. I gagged twice, then spat out a mouthful of salty, bloody foam.

I froze. I hadn’t coughed up blood for a while now.

My mom heard me gagging and came into the toilet. When she saw the blood in the sink, she panicked.

“Son, what’s wrong?”

“Ah, nothing, my… my gums are bleeding,” I hurriedly turned on the tap and washed away the blood.

“Gums?” My mom looked skeptical.

“Yeah, I just got back, maybe the jet lag’s messing me up, or I’m overheated,” I rinsed my mouth again and spat. This time there wasn’t much blood, but the nausea in my stomach had turned into sharp pain.

Afraid my mom would notice something, I pushed her out of the toilet, quickly finished washing up, grabbed my meds, and started putting on my shoes. My mom came out of the kitchen with breakfast, asking where I was going. I just brushed her off with an excuse and ran out the door.

As soon as I stepped outside, I popped a painkiller from my pocket and swallowed it dry.

Song Yu didn’t know I had this medicine.

Back at Morrison Hospital, I’d seen late-stage stomach cancer patients in agony. The doctors would prescribe them these white pills, and I secretly got myself a few boxes.

Song Yu was still waiting for me. Clutching my stomach, I forced myself to walk out of the compound. As I neared the street, I straightened up, not wanting Song Yu to worry.

He was sitting in the car, window half down. When he saw me, he immediately got out to greet me.

“Why do you look so pale? Is your stomach hurting again?” Song Yu’s face was tense as he checked me over, afraid he’d miss any detail.

“No, it’s just… I didn’t sleep well last night,” I avoided his gaze, feeling guilty, as I got in the car.

Song Yu hesitated for a moment, then smiled and got into the car.

We went together to Hai University Affiliated Cancer Hospital, which is ranked among the top cancer hospitals in the country.

Song Yu had arranged for the most authoritative doctor in the Oncology Department to see me, and under the guidance of the nurse, I completed all the examinations without any waiting.

While I was waiting for the enhanced CT scan, a family member of a patient was sitting outside crying, with someone beside her trying to console her.

It seemed like her mother was also in the late stages of cancer. The woman cried and blamed herself, saying she shouldn’t have listened to the doctor and opted for surgery for her mother. If they hadn’t done the surgery, her mother might have lived for another three to five years, but after the surgery, the cancer spread, leaving her with only three to five months to live.

Just then, the door to the CT room opened, and an elderly person in a wheelchair was pushed out. The elderly person had a sallow complexion, a drooping head, bald hair, eyes weakly open, and a tube inserted into the abdomen, with the other end connected to a transparent bag filled with yellowish thick liquid.

I was shocked, as if seeing my own future.

“Mr. Bai, it’s your turn,” the nurse accompanying me called.

I snapped back to reality, responded, and entered the CT room.

Throughout the examination, I was in a daze, my mind replaying the words of the woman and the image of her mother, feeling a vague fear.

After all the examinations were completed, the nurse took me back to the doctor’s office, where Song Yu was discussing my previous treatment in M Country and showing my medical records to the doctor.

Seeing me return, Song Yu quickly came over and asked, “How was it? Did you feel uncomfortable during the check-up?”

I smiled and shook my head, “No, it wasn’t uncomfortable.”

This was true; the painkillers prescribed by Morrison Hospital were indeed very effective, taking effect within half an hour.

“That’s good. I just discussed your condition with the doctor, and he said…”

“Song Yu!” I suddenly interrupted him.

“What is it?”

“…I don’t want surgery!”

Song Yu laughed, “How did you know I was going to talk to you about surgery? Dr. Gu said if your physical condition…”

“No ifs, Song Yu, I don’t want surgery!” I said, then ran out of the doctor’s office without looking back.

“Bai–”

Song Yu called after me, but I ignored him and ran straight to the hospital entrance. Song Yu chased after me and pulled me into his arms.

“Bai, what’s wrong?”

“Song Yu, I don’t want surgery, I don’t want surgery, I’m fine as I am now.” I pleaded, clutching his arm, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Bai, why are you suddenly so against surgery? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened, Song Yu, I just don’t want it, I’m fine as I am now, let’s not do the surgery, okay?”

“But Bai…” Song Yu looked troubled, still seeming to want me to undergo surgery.

“I don’t want surgery, it’s my body, and I have the right to decide. I said no surgery, and that’s final.” Seeing Song Yu’s hesitation, I threw down harsh words and turned to walk out of the hospital.

“Bai Yu!” Song Yu shouted at me.

My feet froze in place.

Song Yu walked up to me, turned me around, and gently placed his hands on my cheeks, speaking softly, “Tell me, what are you afraid of? Bai, what are you really afraid of?”

I looked directly into Song Yu’s determined eyes, my tear-filled eyes growing wetter, “I’m afraid I’ll die, Song Yu, I’m afraid I won’t be able to accompany you through the seasons to come, I’m afraid I can’t give you what you want.”

“I just saw a patient in the late stages of cancer, it was really terrifying. I’m afraid I’ll become like that, Song Yu, I’m really scared…”

Song Yu suddenly pulled me into his arms, his voice choked, “You won’t, Bai, you won’t die. We’ve done so much, you will get better, believe me, Bai, you will get better.”

“But I really don’t want surgery, Song Yu, I’m scared, in fact, I’m scared every day, I’m really, really scared…”

I nestled in Song Yu’s arms, my tears soaking a large part of his shirt, fear like a giant abyss slowly swallowing me. I thought I had come to terms with life and death, but when truly faced with it, I was still trembling with fear.

“Don’t cry, we won’t do it. If you don’t want it, we won’t do it.” Song Yu comforted me, stroking my back repeatedly, “Bai, no matter what happens, I’ll be by your side. Don’t be afraid, I’ll always be with you, I won’t let you face this alone.”

I cried and nodded.

The planned hospitalization was canceled, and the doctor didn’t force me to continue with the surgery, because the cure rates for both surgical and conservative treatments were very low. If the surgery was successful, I could live for at least five more years, but if it failed, it would accelerate the deterioration of my condition. Although the doctor said the success rate of the surgery was over sixty percent, I didn’t dare to gamble. Thinking of that woman’s mother, I was terrified; I absolutely didn’t want to end up like that.

If my life was truly nearing its end, I wanted to die beautifully and gracefully, not with tubes all over my body, like a half-dead person, emitting a foul odor.

Absolutely not.

I met Song Yu in the most beautiful time, and I wanted to leave him with the most beautiful memories.