chapter 4

Chapter 4

There were three tigers locked up in the Tiger Enclosure.

They were so hungry that they were skin and bones.

But I only had one chicken in my hands.

I stood at the entrance, stumped, and spoke into my phone: “There are three tigers, but only one chicken. What’s the high EQ solution here?”

The comment stream started getting creative:

[Whisper in the tiger’s ear: I’m emotionally intelligent, let me go.]

[Tell the tiger: You have something stuck in your teeth.]

[Hang yourself at the entrance of the Tiger Enclosure.]

[Get on your knees and beg the tigers not to embarrass you.]

I scrolled through the comments for a few minutes, and after weighing my options, I picked the kindergarten teacher approach.

Holding up the chicken, I stood at the entrance, “Let me see which little tiger is the most well-behaved.”

All three scrawny tigers came over, pupils glimmering.

I started training the tigers, “Sit. Stand. Shake paws with the tiger next to you. Whoever does best gets the chicken.”

I tossed the chicken inside.

I clapped my hands, ready to walk off in triumph, when I heard a tiger’s roar.

[Whoa! Run, the two tigers who didn’t get the chicken are coming after you!]

[Run, streamer!]

I glanced behind me.

Two starving tigers charged out through the door.

They tore the door off the Tiger Enclosure, carried it on their backs, and thundered after me.

These tigers are really a handful.

Completely unreasonable.

Luckily, they hadn’t eaten in so long they couldn’t run fast.

As I ran, I shouted, “Hey, little friend who got the chicken, come save me!”

The well-fed tiger trotted up beside me.

I said, “Sit.”

It obeyed.

I swung myself onto its back. “Good tiger, help me lose them.”

[Huh? You can do that?]

[The streamer is a qualified kindergarten teacher.]

[Bonus points for the kindergarten teacher approach.]