Xiaotan in His Heart - Chapter 4

I forgot how to breathe.

All I could do was frantically wonder when I’d given myself away.

Had I been too shameless last night?

Had he touched my rough skin and realized it couldn’t possibly belong to a pampered young lady?

Or perhaps our voices were similar, but I could never imitate Lin Jingru’s bearing, and I had exposed myself without even realizing it?

“What is your name?”

Xie Rongyu asked again.

I closed my eyes and surrendered.

“…Xiaotan.”

“Xiaotan…”

He repeated the name under his breath, then said in surprise,

“I remember there’s a maid in this household named Xiaotan.”

I smiled bitterly and nodded.

“Young Master, that’s me.”

I hadn’t expected him to remember my name.

My parents died when I was very young.

I survived by washing clothes for other people.

When I was twelve, a bundle of laundry entrusted to me was stolen.

Not only did I fail to earn a single copper coin, I had to give the customer all the coins I’d saved over several years as compensation.

With nowhere else to go, I sold myself into servitude at the Xie estate.

But life in the Xie household wasn’t easy either.

I was young and constantly bullied.

Sometimes, as soon as food was served, the others would snatch everything away before I’d eaten a single bite.

Once, when I was unbearably hungry, I went to the kitchen and stole a steamed bun.

I was caught on the spot.

The steward said a thief inside one’s own household was the hardest kind to guard against, and that if they let me remain, they would only be raising a tiger that might one day turn on them.

He wanted to dispose of me immediately.

As luck would have it, Xie Rongyu had just returned from traveling and studying.

He happened upon the scene and spoke on my behalf.

“If she weren’t starving, why would anyone choose to steal or rob? If you’ve allowed someone in this household to go this hungry, then you’re the ones who should reflect on what you’ve done wrong.”

He had my punishment canceled.

He even asked his attendant to give me some of the snacks he’d brought home from his travels.

After that, the steward conducted a strict investigation into bullying among the household servants.

And because of Xie Rongyu’s words, no one ever dared bully me again.

My status was low.

I worked only in the rear courtyards and never had the chance to thank him in person.

Later, I bought a collection of Xie Rongyu’s poems and began teaching myself to read.

I asked this person one question and that person another.

After five years, I could finally recognize almost every character in the book.

I had never forgotten the kindness of that one meal.

I’d always wanted a chance to thank him.

Who could have guessed that fate would turn so strangely?

I had somehow been chosen to marry Xie Rongyu in another woman’s place.

Perhaps he heard my breathing quicken.

Xie Rongyu’s warm hand closed around mine.

His thumb brushed over the calluses on my palm as he comforted me gently.

“Don’t be afraid, Xiaotan. I won’t do anything to you.”

I relaxed a little.

Only then did I dare ask what had been bothering me.

“Young Master, when did you realize I wasn’t Miss Lin?”

Xie Rongyu sighed.

“Last night.”

“Last night?”

“Last night… when I kissed you.”

Heat rushed into my cheeks.

I remembered how gently he’d kissed me, then carried me to the bed, only to refuse to consummate the marriage.

So that was why.

He said calmly,

“You carry the scent of soap pods. Jingru has never had to lift a finger for household work. She could never smell like that.”

I lowered my head and sniffed myself.

I couldn’t smell anything at all.

Perhaps after years of washing clothes, the scent of soap pods had seeped into me so deeply that I had simply stopped noticing it.

I lowered my head.

“Young Master, I’m sorry.”

The warmth of Xie Rongyu’s palm still covered mine, soothing my frantic heart.

“It’s all right, Xiaotan. The scent isn’t unpleasant. And…”

He paused.

“I can more or less guess how Mother chose you to impersonate Jingru. You were willing to stand by me when I was at my lowest. Whatever the circumstances, I’m grateful for that.”

His hand tightened.

He pulled me into his arms.

“Xiaotan, we bowed to Heaven and Earth together.

“So from this day onward, you are my wife, Xie Rongyu’s rightful wife.”