Waterbound Love - Chapter 7

Some things, once started, are hard to stop, just like some people’s obsessions. Once given, they persist until death. The quieter the person, the more this is true, just like Wei Jia.

Du Bai could never quite figure out where her estimation went wrong, leading to an unexpected outcome. Perhaps she didn’t know that human nature, though it can be speculated upon, can never be fully understood. When you try to control it, that’s when the tragedy begins. And in this tragedy, everyone involved will bear indelible scars.

Du Bai thought that everything would return to its original state with Wei Jia’s departure, that time would dilute everything, and after the fleeting years, everyone would live peacefully again. Just like she thought Lian Yinyun couldn’t live without her. But these assumptions seemed to form a fixed pattern, always leading to unexpected events.

She understood that she and Wei Jia would never return to the start because from the beginning, only Wei Jia was moving forward. She was just an observer, a vengeful bystander inflicting pain on Wei Jia. But Wei Jia didn’t understand this, and it was her lack of understanding that ruined her life, successfully pushing the one she loved further into the darkness and depression.

Du Bai urged the driver to speed up. Ever since her eyesight problems began, she hadn’t touched a car. Her beloved Ducati SS900 had been left to gather dust in the garage. Tinna once asked her, since she couldn’t touch it anymore, why not let go and let it disappear, so she wouldn’t be conflicted and could feel better. Du Bai remembered calmly telling her that even if she couldn’t touch it, placing it in her own space, not having to see it but knowing it belonged to her when she occasionally thought of it, that feeling, though a bit like grasping at straws, kept her heart from feeling empty.

At that time, Tinna also asked if Lian Yinyun was the same. Du Bai didn’t answer, but she knew the answer was no. She had already let Lian Yinyun go. In a person’s life, there will inevitably be someone you will love and protect, all principles becoming meaningless in their presence. Was Lian Yinyun that person for her? She didn’t know.

There couldn’t be any more accidents. If she couldn’t wait for her, she’d stand one foot away and watch her be happy.

She wanted to continue with her simple, mundane life, but life had other plans for her. In the morning, Shen Yan told her that Wei Jia had poisoned Qian Fangyu and then attacked him. By the time the neighbors found him, he had bled to death. Wei Jia was arrested as a suspect and was being held for trial.

Shen Yan used her connections to arrange a meeting with Wei Jia in a visitor’s room without cameras or guards. No one dared to question or oppose her decision because of the powerful network backing her.

As soon as Wei Jia entered, she sat on the sofa and stared at Du Bai, her quietness creating unease. Du Bai seemed to sink into the sofa, her shadow cast darkly by the sunlight, and she remained silent. Leaning by the window, the wind softly lifted the curtains, but the sunlight dancing like musical notes couldn’t reach Shen Yan’s face. She stood there, looking at Du Bai with a blank expression.

Given Du Bai’s aversion to germs, Shen Yan was worried she might get tired and had a white sofa brought into the room. The prison warden had paled and forced a smile when he saw the sofa, clearly strained by Shen Yan’s demands.

Du Bai looked at the sofa, feeling both touched and melancholic. She thought she might have been too harsh, constantly and recklessly taking advantage of their kindness towards her.

“Let’s go,” Du Bai said, standing up. After all, they were friends, and she didn’t want to cause more harm. This seemed like the best resolution.

Wei Jia suddenly lifted her head in disbelief, staring at Du Bai. The person she was longing for had an expressionless face. “Du Bai, don’t do this. I’ve come so far for you. You can’t forgive me?” Wei Jia’s pitiful whispers clung to Du Bai’s arm, as if Du Bai was the only thing left in her world.

Du Bai’s mouth curled into a disdainful smile, her eyes cold and indifferent. “Don’t make it sound so noble. You did all of this for yourself. I’ve never been angry with you from the start.” Her calm tone made the statement even more powerful. Hearing this, Wei Jia’s face turned deathly pale.

Du Bai elegantly brushed away Wei Jia’s hand. “There are some things I need to make clear to you. I don’t touch you because I’ve always thought you were filthy. I’m tired and I don’t want to play this game anymore. Here’s your last chance: give up your obsession and go back to your world. Never show your face around me again.” After speaking, Du Bai flicked the spot Wei Jia had touched with visible disgust.

Wei Jia trembled like a leaf in the autumn wind. She knew all too well that her fate-life or death-lay entirely in the hands of the person she loved wholeheartedly. Yet, she couldn’t accept it. She really couldn’t bear the thought of losing everything she had.

“No, don’t do this, Du Bai. I believe you love me. Please don’t let this incident negate everything good, okay?” Her voice was nearly pleading, accompanied by clear tears that made her sorrow even more pitiable.

“Ha, ha,” Du Bai laughed uncontrollably, as if she had heard something hilarious. Eventually, she laughed so hard that she began to cough. She gestured to stop Shen Yan from coming over to help and slowly stood up.

“Now, let me be clear: I have never loved you. I have never even said I loved you. But what have you done? Let me think…” She tilted her head slightly and squinted her eyes, tapping rhythmically on her forehead with slender fingers.

“Spreading photos of me and Tinna kissing online, and what else? Oh yes, spreading rumors about art plagiarism. The only ones who could have found the medical records are you and Sisi. But Sisi would only use them to threaten me, not create trouble at the internet cafe next to her apartment. She doesn’t have the cunning for that. But you are clever, and you laid out your plans well. However, what I cannot tolerate is that you encouraged Sisi to hurt someone I cherish deeply. I will not let this go. Not even liking you is possible, let alone loving you.” Du Bai finished speaking, still smiling innocently at Wei Jia. That smile was so pure and innocent, yet to Wei Jia, it recalled nothing but a devil, chilling her to the bone in a hellish cold.

Originally, Du Bai didn’t want to speak. She just couldn’t help the turmoil raging inside her. Seeing someone else even more frantic seemed to calm her down. She glanced at Shen Yan, whose worry was so plainly visible and genuine, it made Du Bai’s heart ache. She closed her eyes to hide the guilt that even her peach blossom eyes couldn’t conceal. Enough, let it all end. Someone had to bear the burden, and since it all started with her, let Wei Jia hate her alone, regardless of who actually did what.

Wei Jia collapsed to the floor, unable to bear it, her face twisted with grotesque unwillingness. “Was it really you? Was everything fake? From accepting me, and even the blackmail by Qian Fangyu, was it all your calculated plan to make me suffer?” Wei Jia didn’t expect an answer from Du Bai; she just needed a way to vocalize her thoughts. After a moment of dazed silence, it seemed she understood.

“I thought I was smart, but in front of you, I was just an amateur showing off my inferior skills. Yes, I’m just an ordinary person. How could I possibly compete with giants like you?” Wei Jia forced a smile, her eyes filled with a mix of love, resentment, bitterness, and ultimately, a desolate clarity. “I lost because I am human. No matter how cruel or wrongful my actions, I’d still feel fear and panic-but you, you are not. You are a demon. To you, people are just toys. You have no heart, so you feel no guilt and can act with impunity. You are more vicious than I ever was.” Wei Jia shouted, her voice breaking into a crazed laughter while tears streamed down her face.

Du Bai remained unmoved, her expression unchanged, filled with nothing but a cold detachment that made Wei Jia’s hate intensify. “I once envied Lian Yinyun so much, but now I pity her more. Pity her for being entangled in the love of a demon like you. You speak of loving her and setting her free, but in the end, you will still trap her, consume her-that’s your nature, eternally dwelling in darkness…” Wei Jia’s only aim now seemed to be wounding Du Bai as deeply as possible, without restraint. Mentioning Lian Yinyun was the only silver bullet that could hurt her.

“Shut up.” Seeing Du Bai’s face turn pale in an instant, Shen Yan could no longer remain indifferent. In that moment, she realized just how significant that girl was in her heart; she must have known much by now. With a desolate smile, “You have no right to speak to her like that, not after everything-”

“Everything you’ve brought upon yourself. Let’s go, Shen Yan.” Du Bai grabbed Shen Yan, intending to leave. She wanted to take responsibility for everything, all the consequences that arose from her personal desires. “Let me leave, the air here is too suffocating, it’s like I can hardly breathe.”

Outside the window, the drifting sunlight was blinding, like a mysterious ritual, becoming a summoning baptism.

Shen Yan watched Du Bai’s retreating figure, so close yet so far. She longed to just hold her, to quietly create a calm and stable space for her, to make her only hers.

“Du Bai, you treat all my love as if it were nothing, to have loved you has become the tragedy of my life. You only bring harm and pain to others. The more obsessively and carefully you love, the more you hurt the ones you love. With my blood, I curse you; you and those around you will never find happiness, your very existence will only bring misfortune. You will always be unfortunate!”

Wei Jia’s screams were blocked outside the door, Du Bai’s face was emotionless yet unusually pale, and Shen Yan knew her pain, even her fingertips were trembling. Shen Yan wanted to say something to ease the situation, but upon barely opening her mouth, she could only fall silent. She had long lost any right to mediate; she too had hurt her in the name of love.

Exiting the prison, the sunlight was too harsh, painfully dazzling to the eyes. A loud thud sounded, and colors slowly spread on the ground like a beautiful ink dance, performed with life, so piercing to the eyes. Even so, Du Bai could not relax her gaze in the slightest.

Darkness approached, and Du Bai heard Shen Yan’s distant screams. She closed her eyes but couldn’t grasp anything.

I will eventually face retribution, hurting not just others, but also myself. But I have no choice; I do not wish to remain in indecision, so I chose a sorrow that destroys both heaven and earth, using grief to mask my powerlessness. Not struggling is not for lack of desire to struggle. Pride is at play. I am clearly aware of the root of all this, yet I cannot try to change it, perhaps it is a profound helplessness.

Isn’t darkness the deepest color? Can it not swallow everything-hesitation, pain, sin? If a price must be paid, then swallow me too, because besides these, I seem to have nothing at all.