Waterbound Love - Chapter 61

Shen Yan looked weary as she gazed at Du Bai lying in the hospital bed. Her inner struggle flickered across her pale face, causing anyone who saw her to worry.

“Tell her, won’t you? It must be tiring,” Du Xing said, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead. His voice was hoarse and fatigued.

Shen Yan shook her head, seemingly oblivious, and continued to look at Du Bai with deep affection, as if she wanted to etch her image into her memory, carefully sketching it to never forget.

“Ah, I can’t stand seeing you two like this. If you won’t dare to tell her, then I will,” Du Xing said.

“No.” Shen Yan’s voice was hoarse, a result of coughing too violently, and she gradually regained her composure, sighing. “You should know her character. She didn’t choose this path because of me. If she wants, she can live well on her own. To her, I’m just something redundant, aren’t I?” She paused, her lips forming a bitter smile. “Something redundant is truly annoying, to be either discarded or abandoned. A thorn stuck in the throat is the least tolerable. And in my current condition, letting go seems more appropriate for everyone. In the end, I’m someone who will leave her. She’s already suffered enough; why add to her sadness?” Du Bai, this is the only thing I can do for you-to not hurt you, to no longer burden you, even if it means being forgotten by you.

“But you-” What about you?

Shen Yan understood and smiled bitterly, “I suppose you haven’t truly loved someone. That kind of love seeps into your bones; your heart gradually fills with her, leaving no room for anything else, including yourself. Her happiness is everything to me. If I can’t give her happiness, at least let her live peacefully. She’s longed for peace for so long.”

Du Xing was moved by what Shen Yan said, realizing that the love Shen Yan had for Ruoruo was unparalleled.

“She seems to be waking up,” Du Xing said softly, noticing Du Bai’s fingers moving slightly, his tone expressing joy and anticipation.

Shen Yan looked on with delight but suddenly seemed to remember something. She struggled to her feet, glanced at Du Bai, and with determination, walked toward the door.

“You-” Aren’t you staying?

“Knowing she’s awake is enough. Staying would only add to the trouble,” Shen Yan said softly, her back to Du Xing. She dared not look back, afraid of seeing her face, afraid of being unable to leave if she did.

Watching Shen Yan’s staggering figure leave, Du Xing felt as if his heart was stuffed with cotton, and his eyes became slightly moist.

Du Bai slowly and painfully opened her eyes, staring at the white ceiling with a bit of confusion. The pain in her left hand announced her continued existence. She thought to herself, with a touch of self-mockery, that after so many experiences, she could write a memoir titled “Another White Ceiling.” She glanced around the room, and seeing that the figure she longed for during her moments of despair was absent, she felt a pang of disappointment. Her brother, Du Xing, stood nearby, looking out the door as if he had just seen someone off.

Du Bai silently looked at Du Xing. When he turned back to meet her gaze, there was no stubbornness, no regret, only clarity devoid of emotion. Words of blame stuck in his throat, unable to be voiced.

“Ruoruo’s awake, huh,” Wen Qiuyan said, standing at the door and looking at her daughter on the bed, her face showing no emotion.

“Mom, why are you here?” Du Bai asked, surprised that the news had reached her, as it was supposed to be kept confidential.

“As a mayor, you still speak so impulsively,” Wen Qiuyan chided Du Xing gently as she walked to his side. “You should go back; you have work to do.”

“But Ruoruo-”

“I’ll take care of Ruoruo. Don’t call your wife over; it’s too much trouble for her with her pregnancy,” Wen Qiuyan instructed Du Xing as she glanced at Du Bai’s left hand.

Du Xing understood that his mother wished to comfort his sister and didn’t insist further. “Alright, Mom, I’ll go now.” He picked up his coat from the sofa and left.

With Du Xing’s departure, silence enveloped the room. Du Bai gently closed her eyes, feeling weary once more.

Wen Qiuyan tenderly smoothed the hair on Du Bai’s forehead. “Why can’t you see past this and chose this path?” Just like your father. At that moment, Wen Qiuyan’s usual elegance was replaced by genuine maternal love.

Du Bai silently felt the warmth on her cheek. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to speak; she simply didn’t know what to say, so she chose silence. Suddenly, she felt moisture on her face and, confused, opened her eyes to see her mother wiping away tears. Guilt flooded over her.

“Mom-”

Du Bai reached out to gently wipe the tears from her mother’s eyes. The sunlight shone on her pale hand, making it glisten, as if it were fading away.

Wen Qiuyan couldn’t bear this silent farewell and grasped Du Bai’s uninjured right hand. “Ruoruo, why were you so impulsive? Wanting to leave us?”

Looking into her mother’s determined eyes, Du Bai sighed softly and glanced at the water on the cabinet. Wen Qiuyan understood, carefully helping Du Bai sit up more comfortably with a pillow, and handed her a glass of water.

Sipping the water from her mother’s hand, Du Bai moistened her throat and slowly said, “Mom, some people’s deaths are impulsive, needing a wake-up call. But some people choose to leave as if choosing to live, after long and thoughtful consideration, willing to bear the consequences of their choice.” Just like me. “Everyone has their own thoughts and conduct. You are strong, but you cannot impose your strong will on others. You may ridicule someone for being weak, but you should not control them. The only person who can cause change is oneself, and not everyone who lives has hope.”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I still stand by my choice. I truly tried, but I still can’t find a reason to live. Forgive my cowardice, because each attempt requires enduring twice the pain in return. I am genuinely tired.”

Wen Qiuyan quietly looked at Du Bai, and a fleeting memory crossed her mind-of Du Bai’s father weeping upon her shoulder, voicing his pain and exhaustion, even though their love couldn’t make him stay. Time had passed; he was gone, and she was no longer young. Yet their daughter had chosen his path, enduring agony that seeped into her very being. Years of her own research seemed to be in vain, unable to change anything.