Waterbound Love - Chapter 40

Du Bai struggled in vain, overpowered by the inherent strength difference between men and women, especially against a man who had lost his reason. Equally trained, she found no possibility of escape; resistance was futile, so she ceased to struggle. Her eyes, wide open, lacked focus, filled with a chilling detachment. The sound of tearing fabric pierced her ears painfully.

When everything quietened down, Du Bai continued to look on impassively, devoid of any emotion from beginning to end.

Wei Wen held Du Bai quietly, burying his head in the nape of her neck, “I’m sorry, I was impulsive.” But I don’t regret it. I have fantasized about this beauty too many times, so much so that I can no longer tell if it’s reality or my perpetual fantasy. I’m afraid to let you go, fearing you’ll disappear like so many others have, leaving me facing a stranger.

“Your impulsiveness lasting this long is indeed remarkable,” Du Bai scoffed coldly, pushing Wei Wen away from her embrace.

“I’m sorry, Du Bai, don’t leave,” Wei Wen pleaded urgently, grabbing her arm.

Du Bai showed no hint of the naked awkwardness, composed as if she were a queen, “I once said that what can’t be repaid with the heart, I will not hesitate to repay with my body. Wei Wen, I owe you nothing. Do you still seek my heart after forcefully having me? Sorry, I am no chaste martyr. I have never been faithful, not to women, nor to men. Perhaps often I am not in control, but I am confident in managing my heart.”

With that, she walked into the bathroom. What had happened could not be undone, and crying about it wouldn’t gain her anything; it would only comfort the aggressor. Such was not Du Bai’s way. She understood well how guilt, especially towards a loved one, could be a powerful thing, blinding one with madness, all in the name of repayment. And for Wei Wen, she would leave a debt he could never repay in his lifetime.

Entering the bathroom, she turned on the tap. Du Bai could no longer hold back, and began to vomit violently. With an empty stomach, all that came out eventually was gastric juice. Outside, only the sound of running water could be heard, masking the room’s acridity.

After rinsing her mouth and splashing her face with cold water, Du Bai looked up to catch her reflection in the mirror-her eyes were red, filled with bloodshot lines. She gave a grim smile; perhaps this was what she deserved, likely nothing compared to a fraction of the pain Tinna endured. Thinking of that resolute woman, she couldn’t even muster a smile. A firm resolve slowly emerged in her eyes.

When Du Bai came out of the bathroom, she saw the clothes for changing neatly laid out in a conspicuous place, without Wei Wen in sight. Was he avoiding awkwardness or did he fear seeing the hatred in her own eyes? If that was his concern, he was being overly sensitive. Hatred is a feeling too, and she wouldn’t waste it on someone insignificant. Once the revenge was done, she would forget all about it.

Du Bai didn’t take a taxi home; instead, she chose to walk, very slowly. She paid no attention to the surprised looks of the passersby. She walked just for the sake of walking.

At the foot of her building, she saw Shen Yan leaning on her Phaeton, balancing on one leg. The setting sun cast a melancholy shadow across her face.

Du Bai looked at the car and couldn’t help but chuckle. She remembered initially mocking Shen Yan for spending the price of a Ferrari on what was essentially a luxurious Passat. Now, thinking back, the car’s solid, restrained, and sharp features really suited her. She had watched Shen Yan contain her vitality, forcing herself to mature. While she herself had enjoyed five years of freedom to do as she pleased, Shen Yan had lived in someone else’s body, doing what others expected of her. The only exception was her moth-like love for herself. The person she should least have hurt and the one she had hurt the most was Shen Yan.

After a long time, so long that Du Bai thought they might stand there forever, Shen Yan turned around inadvertently and saw Du Bai. She paused, then slowly walked towards her. Du Bai felt a halo of light surrounding her, spreading outward, wherever it reached, birds sang and flowers bloomed, reviving the barrenness around her.

“Where have you been?” Shen Yan asked, her voice rich and tempting like red wine swirling in a wine glass, as she gently touched Du Bai’s slightly long, wind-blown hair.

A moment of sourness touched Du Bai’s heart. After all this time, it seemed that the one she had originally sought to never leave her side had always been there. She put aside all thoughts and gave Shen Yan a tender smile, “Just out for a walk, have you been waiting long?” She knew letting her know would have the best effect, but it felt too cruel; she truly didn’t want to use her anymore, feeling a faint ache in her heart.

Lost in Du Bai’s smile, Shen Yan glanced at her neck, her gaze briefly sharp with pain, then filled with immense sorrow. Gently caressing it, she murmured, “I’ll make him pay.”

Du Bai caught the meaning in Shen Yan’s words. Holding Shen Yan’s hand at her neck, they stood facing each other under the setting sun for a long time, then closed her eyes and sighed inwardly. The sunset stretched their shadows long, like a warmth about to dissipate, thick with poignant sadness.

Du Bai opened her eyes again, clarity shining within them, devoid of any trace of emotion. “Why should he pay the price?”

“He shouldn’t have treated you this way, should he?” Shen Yan seemed to see through Du Bai’s facade, speaking calmly.

“What if I did it willingly? Let’s not talk about this. You know he’s my fiancé, right?” It’s better this way, to hurt you one last time, one last time. Only through complete hurt can there be complete liberation. Letting go one by one.

“Du Bai, don’t lie to me. First, I understand you; second, I am a rational person,” Shen Yan bit her lip hard, her gaze fixed on Du Bai, veins throbbing on her forehead. “Du Bai, please don’t push me away anymore, let me help you, try to trust me, okay? With my abilities, I won’t lose the entire Shen Corporation.”

Du Bai gently lifted her hand to Shen Yan’s hair, feeling the softness there, as gentle as her own heart. “I really don’t want to use you or hurt you anymore.”

“It won’t, helping you won’t make me sad,” Shen Yan met Du Bai’s gaze, her voice firm.

Du Bai smiled, a mesmerizing smile. “What if, all of this is just a play, just a scheme I used to deceive you, only for my own benefit?”

“I would still cherish it,” Shen Yan’s tone was very calm, not intense, yet seemed to carry a magic that made it utterly believable.

A gentle breeze brushed through the willow branches, tracing beautiful arcs in the air, filling the space between them with too many emotions, like ripples spreading from a stone thrown into water, elusive and complex.

Some feelings seem unchanging, yet there might be slight shifts. Who can really tell?