Waterbound Love - Chapter 33

why things had turned out this way. Weren’t they supposed to live simple, peaceful lives?

As the anesthesia slowly wore off, Du Bai gradually woke up and saw Shen Yan napping by her bedside. Perhaps it was exhaustion. Although it was a cliché scene often seen on TV, experiencing it firsthand had an indescribable effect, like boiling water poured over ice, steaming up, trying to grasp something but not knowing where to start.

This was probably the only time she woke up to something other than a white ceiling. Regrettably, she was still alive, Du Bai thought sarcastically to herself. As her memories returned, Du Bai abruptly opened her eyes, attempting to sit up, but as the anesthesia faded, pain shot through her abdomen. Du Bai convulsed, knocking over a vase from the bedside table. The noise naturally woke Shen Yan.

“What’s wrong?” Although she had just woken up, Shen Yan’s eyes were unusually clear, probably due to light sleep.

Du Bai simply curled up on the bed, her left hand clutching the sheets tightly, signaling the pain she was enduring, yet not making a sound.

Shen Yan was startled, perhaps reminded of Du Bai’s withdrawal after Wei Jia’s fall from the building, “Du Bai, don’t scare me. Tinna isn’t dead, really, she’s not.”

Hearing this, Du Bai suddenly raised her head, clenching her teeth to bear the pain, her pale face covered in sweat.

“Really-huh huh,” her voice rough and hoarse from dryness, coupled with the pain of speaking, made it extremely difficult for Du Bai to talk.

Seeing Du Bai trying to speak, Shen Yan’s heart settled a bit. She gently moved Du Bai, examining her abdominal wound, “When Tinna fell, the paramedics had already prepared the air cushion.” Seeing the questioning look in Du Bai’s eyes, Shen Yan sighed, handed her a cup of water, and fed her in small sips, “The cushion wasn’t fully inflated, but her life was saved, she’s still under observation. The doctors say the prognosis isn’t good.” These were things she shouldn’t have mentioned, but how could she keep them hidden?

“I need to know everything.” With her voice moistened by water, it wasn’t as hoarse but still very faint. However, Shen Yan couldn’t doubt its firmness. After a long look, Shen Yan sighed helplessly, thinking to herself that dealing with Du Bai might make her sigh away a lifetime’s worth of breath. “She might end up in a vegetative state.”

A moment of pain crossed Du Bai’s face, but she quickly suppressed it, waiting for Shen Yan to continue.

“Du Bai, if you want to cry, just let it out,” Shen Yan said softly, her own tears already flowing.

“I won’t cry. I’ve exhausted every right I have to try and save him, and even if I can’t change the outcome, I will not regret it. Regret only wastes time, and I don’t have much time left to waste. I still have things to take care of.”

Shen Yan looked at Du Bai’s eyes, still firm and clear, and felt a moment of confusion. Hadn’t she always known? Du Bai was always so rational, at least in front of others, and that included herself. With a self-deprecating laugh, she thought, at least she could stay by her side under the guise of helping, unashamedly clinging to her. That was enough. She had hurt her once before and would never do it again.

“What’s the situation over there now?” This was the question Du Bai cared about most now. A Du Bai who had lost care and was no longer panicked was the most terrifying. But since she had made her move, she had to face the consequences.

Although Du Bai referred to it vaguely, Shen Yan knew exactly what she meant.

“After your rescue attempt, you were unconscious for three days. After Tinna was confirmed to be in a vegetative state, Ji Feiling’s mother caused a scene at the Liu family’s place, but Ji Feiling stopped her. Mrs. Liu, being kind-hearted, worried about delaying Ji Feiling, decided to annul the engagement,” Shen Yan recounted the events to Du Bai, naturally omitting many details, knowing that the essentials were enough and there was no need to anger her with the sordid details.

“Three days? Hmph, Ji Feiling is quite the character, solving everything within three days, not only getting off easy but also playing the good guy,” Du Bai paused, then added, “But there’s no such thing as too many easy deals.” She then fell silent, deep in thought for a long while. “Shen Yan, can you check if Ji Feiling’s mother was at the hospital the day Tinna had her accident?”

“Are you saying-”

“I just have a suspicion. I heard something Tinna said on the rooftop that made me doubt.”

Shen Yan did not ask what had been said; she knew it would only cause Du Bai pain again, something she did not want to see.

Du Bai lay silently on the bed, in the empty, quiet room that allowed her to let down her guard, her fatigue shadowing her like a ghost.

She said I’m filthy, a burden. Yes, filthy.

Tinna, I will never forget that sentence. No matter who said it, I will make her the dirtiest creature on Earth. Death is not enough to redeem her sins.

And Ji Feiling, from the day you decided not to show up, I have set your end. I hope you won’t like it.

“Are you here to visit a patient or to alleviate disaster? Why do you look like a refugee?” Du Bai couldn’t help but tease as she watched Wei Qingqian, who started devouring the food from her pantry the moment he entered. She really wondered where his manners had gone.

“Fine, fine, look at you being so stingy, it’s going to kill you.” Wei Qingqian licked his fingers after peeling a dragon fruit. “Mmm, off-season fruits do taste better.”

“Nonsense, you’re eating up money, coming to see the patient without bringing anything, and still shamelessly eating up her food. Hey, hey, eat less of that, aren’t you afraid of getting heaty?” Du Bai said coolly, finding it oddly satisfying to watch him eat.

“Well, I’ve earned it, seeing how stingy you are. I’ve been looking after your wife for so long, and you’re grumbling about me eating some fruit? Have you no shame?” After saying that, Wei Qingqian started rummaging through the fruit basket for his next target.

Du Bai didn’t mind, but she blushed and glanced at Wei Qingqian. She frowned uncontrollably. How could she forget her? How should she start speaking? The fruit that had tasted sweet was now tasteless in her mouth, and she carelessly threw it onto the bedside table.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Yaoyao asked softly, looking at Du Bai with eyes that had just been crying, shining unusually bright, making Du Bai a bit heartbroken.

It was her own injury, yet she seemed more upset than Du Bai herself, crying non-stop while holding her freshly bandaged arm, making Du Bai think that Shen Yan had deceived her, that her arm was ruined. But it wasn’t a big deal, really; she could still use it, just no longer for drawing. Drawing wasn’t the only thing in her life anymore, not when she couldn’t even see life itself, what else could there be to care about?

“I’ve lost my appetite,” she finally said, hesitating a bit, “Wei Qingqian, could you buy me some porridge, I’m hungry.”

Wei Qingqian initially wanted to refuse, but he knew once Du Bai used his full name, it meant she was expecting his absolute obedience, so he said nothing and quickly left the room.

Now only the two of them remained in the room, so quiet they could hear each other’s breathing. Yaoyao felt uneasy; she had a feeling that what Du Bai was about to say wasn’t something she wanted to hear.

“He doesn’t know which brand of porridge you like, I should go buy it for you,” Yaoyao said, grabbing her bag from the chair, ready to rush out.

Du Bai let out a sigh, “No need, I just didn’t want him here.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be back quickly, you won’t have to wait long,” Yaoyao said in a panic, already moving towards the door, faster, even faster, if only she could be quicker, then nothing would happen.

“Enough, let’s break up.” Du Bai finally said it. She thought it would be easy, but why did her heart still ache?

“No, no, no. Don’t say it, why do you have to say it, why so cruel, no-” Yaoyao covered her ears with both hands, shaking her head desperately, leaning weakly against the door. Perhaps in this way, she could fool herself into not hearing it.

Du Bai struggled to stand up. She could say they should break up, but she wouldn’t allow herself to say it while lying in bed-that would be disrespectful. She would never allow it.

After crying, Yaoyao calmed down and quietly looked at Du Bai. “I love you so much, even though you don’t love me. Can’t you just not let me go? I’ve never asked you to love me, just to let me stay by your side.” After she spoke, the tears that had just stopped started flowing again. Her voice was filled with pleading.

Du Bai wanted to walk over and hold her, to gently tell her that she liked her and see the smile that would appear on her face. Yes, liked her-a deep fondness. Her gentleness, her purity, the little things she did for her were like sunshine that irresistibly brightened Du Bai’s heart. Before she knew it, she had captured her heart.

But she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she shouldn’t, but that she couldn’t.

Du Bai could, but Du Ruo couldn’t.

If Du Ruo behaved as recklessly as Du Bai, it wouldn’t be Du Ruo who got hurt-it would be her.

And yet, only Du Ruo could dissolve the hatred, not Du Bai.

And that deep fondness was no match for the swiftness and ferocity of hatred.

So, she must be cruel.

“Love you?” Du Bai said, forcefully suppressing the bitterness in her heart and using a sinister smile to mask the pain she couldn’t hide on her face, “Impossible. From beginning to end, it was just a game. Whoever gets emotional loses, and I have always been the winner. To me, you lost the right to continue playing the moment you became emotional.” She moved her gaze away, not looking at Yaoyao’s pale face that showed such pain-she was afraid that one more look would make her surrender. Her hand on her abdomen was slightly wet-perhaps the wound had reopened. But why didn’t it hurt? Du Bai gave a miserable smile; she could still feel such pain.

“Is it because of her?” She knew she shouldn’t ask, but she couldn’t help it. If so, where did that leave her? How could she wish she had never existed at that moment, so she wouldn’t have fallen in love with her?

No, it wasn’t that. Du Bai didn’t know what had happened in between, but now denying it was pointless, even it wasn’t right to explain. It was better she thought this way. Just give up. “If it makes you feel better, think whatever you want. I’m tired. You should go back.” Du Bai could see Yaoyao’s clearly stiff body. Go, just go, completely walk out of my life, and live your own simple life quietly. Perhaps you will be sad, but one day, another person will come along with a warm smile to heal the wounds on your heart, taking my place.

Just like that, that’s good. Isn’t it?