Waterbound Love - Chapter 16

Finally reaching the restroom, Du Bai virtually collapsed onto the floor, supporting all her weight on the sink as she vomited violently. She could almost feel the burning and spasms in her stomach. In the end, she couldn’t even vomit bile anymore, only dry heaving mechanically as if that would make her feel better. Tears fell without warning, forming splashes, mixing with the mess and getting flushed away by the water into a lost whirlpool, nowhere near clear. It was just like her muddled life.

“Are you okay?” A gentle voice came, and Du Bai naturally recognized it as Tiantian’s. She discreetly wiped away the tears from her cheeks, splashed her face with water, and casually wiped her face. She pulled a tissue from a convenient box and gently wiped the water from her hands. Turning around gracefully with a light smile, the water droplets on her face slid down along her smile lines. Her freshly washed face still looked unnaturally pale and weak, yet it gave a strong sense of reassurance.

“I’m fine.”

“But it seems like you can’t handle alcohol well,” Tiantian said, still looking at Du Bai with concern. The folds of her peach blossom eyes were adorned with scattered water droplets, shining like diamonds under the light, momentarily mesmerizing Tiantian.

That gaze seemed to hold too many memories of Du Bai. She instinctively reached out to touch it, the warm and delicate feeling under her fingertips made Du Bai recoil abruptly. This girl seemed too close to her.

“This doesn’t concern you.” She lowered her hand, lacing her voice with coldness and distance. When she looked up again, Tiantian’s tearful eyes met her gaze, filling Du Bai with a wave of helplessness. She couldn’t bear to see those eyes cry. With a soft sigh, she said, “Back then, in my youthful impetuousness, drinking left my stomach with issues. I can’t handle a mix of beer and baijiu well. Only a few people know this.” Her voice was exceptionally gentle. Seeing Tiantian still standing there with her head down, Du Bai suddenly felt very irritated. She pinched her straight nose bridge and turned to leave, but a pair of arms tightly wrapped around her waist from behind. Du Bai’s body stiffened, remaining silent. Her back felt wet- was it tears?

Giving up the thought of breaking free, Du Bai relaxed her body. She knew very well that it would be easy to shake off this embrace, but maybe, just maybe, it was because she had been lonely for too long that the instant warmth made her reluctant to let go. She fantasized about those smiling eyes; after all, it was hard to part with them.

“Do you hate me?” The voice, tinged with sobs, came softly.

“No.” Du Bai knew that her answer would bring a lot of trouble, but she still chose to be honest. Perhaps it was the alcohol’s effect, or maybe she was just too tired, needing a temporary place to rest.

There was a prolonged silence, and Du Bai felt somewhat annoyed. Why wouldn’t someone burst in at this moment? Even if it was awkward, it could help dilute the ambiguous atmosphere in the air.

“Can I be your girlfriend?” The question, asked so softly and tentatively, was filled with caution.

“Sure.” The response was so straightforward that it left Tiantian stunned. Du Bai sighed helplessly, pulled Tiantian apart, turned around, and looked into her eyes, suppressing the urge to touch them. “I think I need a reason.”

“I…,” Tiantian’s eyes flickered. Du Bai smiled knowingly, “Any reason is acceptable. I just don’t like deception or concealment.”

Tiantian’s peach blossom eyes were full of allure, and she unexpectedly blurted out her inner thoughts, “Because you remind me of Kaka.”

Du Bai looked at her and smiled knowingly. “I see, that’s good.” She glanced around, chuckling at the thought of picking up a girl in the restroom. It felt suspiciously like an affair. Meeting Tiantian’s slightly timid gaze, Du Bai couldn’t help but touch her face. “I still prefer it when you smile,” she murmured nostalgically, gently kissing her.

Holding Tiantian’s hand, they walked out of the door. Standing face-to-face with someone, Du Bai was reminded of the saying “narrow roads meet,” and it seemed quite fitting.

Wei Wen’s gaze shifted between Du Bai and Tiantian’s clasped hands and Du Bai’s face, his eyebrows tightly furrowed, eyes filled with gloom.

Du Bai chose to ignore the emotions in Wei Wen’s eyes, nodding slightly to acknowledge him. She continued walking towards her private room, holding Tiantian’s hand as if nothing had happened. From start to finish, she neither tightened nor let go of her grip. Simply put, she felt nothing for Wei Wen, so she didn’t bother to avoid or care about him. To her, he was like a stranger, incapable of affecting her emotions. This sense of self-possession prevented Du Bai from noticing the resentment and anger in Wei Wen’s eyes.

As soon as they entered the room, their clasped hands became the focus. Shao imitated Du Bai’s habitual eyebrow raise, pulling her aside, while a few other women dragged Tiantian to another corner. Quite a few people in this circle secretly admired Du Bai. She was good-looking, and although many didn’t know her background, she appeared decent on the surface, with excellent character and temperament. To put it bluntly, she was like a dark horse that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Seeing their ‘reservation’ being taken by someone else naturally didn’t sit well with anyone, but since Du Bai was present, they couldn’t make a scene. Instead, they encircled the girl who had ‘stolen’ the dark horse, saying some mildly disparaging things. Du Bai was well aware that they wouldn’t go too far, so she let them be.

“Why her?”

“Why not her?”

Seeing that Du Bai was about to start bantering, Shao ground her teeth in frustration. “Du Bai, don’t you try to play it cool with me. Others may not know, but I do-you still can’t forget Lian Yinyun. So what’s with accepting Tiantian? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for her; I absolutely won’t believe that.”

Du Bai put down her swaying wine glass, leaned back on the sofa, and found a comfortable position. She pulled out a cigarette, holding it between her middle and ring fingers, slightly squinting as she tilted her head back and gently exhaled a puff of smoke, making the reality a bit blurred, dreamy. “Let’s just say I’m tired, and I happened to meet someone who can give me a place to rest. Is that acceptable?”

“It’s not. Even if you just pick someone off the street, there has to be something that attracts you, right?”

Du Bai couldn’t help but laugh. She knew she couldn’t hide anything from Shao, and playing coy would be pointless. “Haven’t you noticed their eyes? When they smile, it’s like crescent moons, with the corners twitching adorably, as if they’re radiating pure happiness.”

Shao rolled her eyes. “Get real, those are just crow’s feet. I can’t believe you like that sort of thing. No wonder you’re not chasing someone as cute as this Lolita here.”

After that comment, silence fell between them.

“Xiaobai, setting aside the fact that she already likes someone else, aren’t you tired?” Shao looked worried. She didn’t want to see her friend get hurt again. She vaguely understood that Du Bai’s biggest pain came from hurting others. The closer and more she cared, the harder it became to bear, making her even more upset.

“I know she likes someone else. That way, she won’t fall for me, and I won’t make her sad or upset, right?”

“I’m talking about you,” Shao said, looking at Du Bai with concern. Du Bai couldn’t help but give a wry smile. As expected, Shao never let her keep any secrets.

“This kind of burden can be a form of happiness, staying in a self-imposed sense of joy. Even if it’s just a shadow of happiness, it still feels like happiness. Just like you choose to joke around with others to forget your own pain, I choose to suffer in happiness. Even when it’s painful, being wrapped in happiness makes the journey a little easier.”

Du Bai stood up, moved next to Tiantian, and gently put an arm around her, taking the glass from Tiantian’s hand. “Ladies, please don’t give my Tiantian a hard time. I’ll be heartbroken.” She looked at Tiantian with a soft smile in her peach blossom eyes. “But it would be rude not to drink the ladies’ wine, so how about I do it on her behalf?” Though she asked, she didn’t wait for an answer, downing the glass in one go. She lifted the empty glass, tilting it around the room.

Shao watched the scene unfold, feeling an unexpected pang of sadness.

Why does love have to strike us so fiercely, so painfully, so arduously? And as if that’s not enough, why must it come with sacrifice?

Are we all just yearning for redemption, a stable home, a simple and steadfast love that we can hold onto deep within our untouchable harbour?

Or from the very beginning, have we craved someone to teach us how to love?

Morning sunlight filtered through the sheer curtains, hitting Du Bai’s face. She shook her heavy head, feeling a splitting pain as if she’d been trampled by hooves. Glancing beside her, the sight instantly sobered her up.

“Hey, wake up,” Du Bai nudged the little cocoon next to her.

“Let me sleep a little longer,” Tiantian mumbled, squirming closer and wrapping around Du Bai’s waist like she was emerging from a cocoon.

Taking a moment to observe the woman beside her, Du Bai thought, ‘Hmm, fair skin, and some nice curves too.’

“Yeah, yeah, little lady, you’re already mine. No point in crying now; why start crying so late?”

Tiantian, having no outlet for her anger, wanted to see Du Bai embarrassed. Instead, she blushed, then popped out from under the covers, grabbing a pillow to playfully hit Du Bai. “You and your nonsense, I’ll beat you!”

Du Bai dodged, playing along, “Hey, don’t hit me! Who will take responsibility if you kill me?”

“Oh, I must’ve been blind last night, found myself a fierce one. Go ahead, you can kill me; I’m not taking responsibility.”

“Wow, you’re really hitting me? I want to return this item! I demand a return!”

“Dare you! No returns once the goods are delivered.”

“Laughs”

The joyful noise in the bedroom chased away all worries. No one noticed the phone on the bedside table displayed an active call.

Hearing the commotion, Shao smiled knowingly. It had been a long time since she’d heard such genuine laughter from Du Bai. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing for her, after all. Hanging up, she squinted, a sly grin on her face as she pulled out her phone.

The two who had been playfully wrestling stopped as the ringtone suddenly chimed.

First message: “Did I stage that drunken scene realistically enough? Were the actors convincing?”

Second message: “Returns and exchanges handled personally-talk to me for discounts.”

Putting her phone away, Shao imagined Du Bai’s dark expression and couldn’t help but smile. Pity she couldn’t see Du Bai’s defeated look.

Maybe she herself could try to let go of some things and try something new. Not to pressure herself to accomplish all, but to simply enjoy a life that was simple and happy.

“Uncle Chen, turn around and take me to the airport, please.”

Watching the scenery retreat outside the window felt like a ceremony of bidding the past goodbye, slowly pulling away from stubborn attachments.

Goodbye, Du Bai. I hope when we meet again, you’ll have a truly happy and warm life.

In truth, we often need to understand that hope is like an ‘if,’ like the rose-colored bubbles on lily petals-fragile and silent when they burst.