Vulgar Love - Chapter 4

Gu Shaoheng and I once had a very sweet time together.

It was like a fairy tale-the beginning always full of twists and turns, the ending always sweet. But Gu Shaoheng and I did not live in a fairy tale.

After the sweetness, the inevitable mess of daily life began to appear.

I can’t remember when the arguments started. At first, they were just about trivial things.

For example, he accepted handmade gifts from other girls, played video games with a junior from his department, or gave a slightly tipsy female friend a ride home…

He never understood why I got upset about these things.

“I didn’t cheat on you. I don’t love them at all, Fang Suiran, what exactly are you angry about?”

I could only look at him in silence.

He had so much going for him-wealth, talent, good looks, and a strong family background-so there were always people flocking to him like fish swimming upstream. He drifted among the flowers, always ambiguous but never truly entangled.

After we got together, he started to settle down and behave himself, but it was obvious that our definitions of “settling down” and “loyalty” were not the same.

Maybe he didn’t have any ulterior motives, but I would always receive messages from who-knows-where, taunting me and asking when I would step down…

After so many arguments over things like this, in the end, I didn’t even want to speak anymore.

I broke up with Gu Shaoheng because, on his birthday, I brought a homemade birthday cake to his school to surprise him. When I called him at the school gate, he was stunned and asked, “Didn’t you say you had no time because you were doing biological research?”

I smiled, holding the cake. “Didn’t you say I never give you surprises?”

After I hung up, he rushed back from outside the campus. He was probably celebrating with a group of friends. When he saw me, his eyes lit up and he walked toward me with a smile.

As he bent down to take the cake from my hands, I noticed a lipstick mark on the collar of his white shirt.

And there was a small bite mark on his neck.

I calmly switched my phone to selfie mode, aimed at the bite mark, took a photo, and held it up to him, asking what it was.

He was rarely flustered, but this time he was. He kept apologizing and explaining, saying it happened during a game of Truth or Dare, and it meant nothing.

The bite mark was from a girl he had rejected. She bit him when he was off guard.

He really hadn’t done anything to betray me.

I’m usually emotionally stable and calm, but that day was probably the first time I lost control. I smashed the cake in my hand against him.

I looked at him coldly, sighed in exhaustion, and said, “It’s been proven, Gu Shaoheng. From the very first step, we made a mistake in our calculations. Actually, from the moment we wrote down that ‘solution,’ we should have known every step after would be wrong.” I sighed again under his shocked gaze. “We really aren’t suitable for each other. Let’s break up.”

Then I turned and walked away.

After that, Gu Shaoheng kept apologizing to me humbly.

He had always been proud, so that was probably the first time in his life he ever lowered his head to someone.

He said, “Suiran, that really didn’t mean anything. You know you’re always the exception for me.”

I sighed.

Later, there was a time when he came over while I was having dinner with a senior from my undergraduate days. This senior had once pursued me, but after I politely turned him down, we went back to being friends.

Gu Shaoheng knew this senior had pursued me. The moment he saw us together, his expression changed dramatically, turning dark and unhappy.

You see, this is how double standards work for him.

Amid his outburst, I replied calmly, “Gu Shaoheng, according to your logic, I’m just having a meal with a senior who once pursued me. Does that mean anything?”
“Fang Suiran, you’re just relying on the fact that I like you,” he said.

I sighed. “Liking someone isn’t supposed to be like this.”

I’ve always been calm about it, probably because I know Gu Shaoheng too well, so a breakup was something I more or less expected.

Once, Gu Shaoheng called me drunk and asked, “Suiran, sometimes I really wonder if you ever truly loved me. How can you always be so composed?”

Gu Shaoheng never agreed to break up, not until I was preparing to go abroad for further studies.

Before I left, he humbled himself and chased me to the airport. Standing at the departure gate, he asked coldly, “Fang Suiran, are you really going to break up?”

“If I say I’ll change, I’ll stay away from all other women, I’ll hold myself to your standards of loyalty-would you still not come back?”

I sighed and said, “Yes.”

He looked at me for a long time, then finally, with suppressed anger in his voice, said coldly, “Fine. Don’t regret it.”

My answer was to turn and board the plane without a trace of reluctance.

That was probably the first time Gu Shaoheng had ever lost out to a woman. He was never short of admirers, always at ease among countless beauties. Maybe it was his first time being dumped, and it wounded his pride.

So even though we shared many mutual friends, whenever I was present in a group chat, he would always remain silent.

That wasn’t like his usual demeanor.

Later, there was a terrorist attack in the neighborhood where I lived abroad. I don’t know how Gu Shaoheng found out which area I was in, but on the night of the attack, I got a call from him. He asked, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I replied. Realizing my tone was cold, I added, “Don’t worry, the embassy has already issued a rescue notice.”

He grunted and hung up. The next day, he showed up in front of me, travel-worn.

He only looked at me from a distance, as if to confirm I was truly safe, then turned and left without saying a word.

At first, my friends would try to persuade me: “Suiran, I really don’t get you. Young Master Gu is so devoted and wealthy-why don’t you want him?”

In their eyes, Gu Shaoheng was a playboy, indifferent and inattentive to everyone else, just playing the field. I was the unique, exceptional one.

Even after I went abroad, people would still say to me, “Suiran, it’s strange. Young Master Gu seems so flirtatious and romantic, but it feels like you’re the only one we can be sure of-no matter when, as long as you turn around, he’ll always be within your reach.”

Someone else said, “Suiran, Young Master Gu said he’d change. Wouldn’t it be good to give him another chance?”

I just smiled and said nothing. Maybe only I knew in my heart that even if we started over, the ending between Gu Shaoheng and me would still be the same.

When it comes to love, I’m always black and white. I don’t allow any gray areas. I want the person I love to be loyal, to have eyes and heart only for me.

Just like the lyrics say: “Do you really understand the definition of ‘the only one’? It’s not as simple as breathing.”

Gu Shaoheng is a free spirit at heart, loves his freedom, and is surrounded by temptations. He could change for me for a while, but if he had to face only me for a long time, forever, when the novelty wore off and he no longer wanted to compromise for love-

Wouldn’t he just fall back into old habits?

People say I’m calm and unfeeling, but in truth, I’m just clear-headed.

Besides, I have a habit: I never make the same mistake twice.

Especially after I’ve already tried and found it wrong.”