Chapter 3

Every New Year, the relatives would always praise my brother for being smart, saying that as long as our parents could support him through school, they would enjoy a good life in their old age.

Occasionally, they would ask about my grades.

After hearing the answer, they would always smile and say, “That’s pretty good. After Xiaoxia graduates from middle school, she can help support her brother’s education.”

“For a girl, marrying well is what really matters.”

Hearing these words now makes me angry.

Why should one child’s future be sacrificed to support another?

Yet, at the time, this was normal.

Rural families had limited resources.

Many talented girls had to give way for their brothers.

Besides, I was so ordinary, and not even their biological child, destined to be a stepping stone in my brother’s life.

And so, muddling along, I grew to the age of ten.

Mom had promised me that when I turned ten, she would celebrate my birthday just for me, and buy me a pink cake dress.

That day, when I got up, my parents and brother were already gone.

Maybe they had gone to buy my dress.

I went early to school to get my final exam report card.

Tenth in the class.

It was the first time I had made it into the top ten.

Not only that, I had also won third prize in the township essay competition.

The prize was a notebook.

Everything was so perfect.

On my way back to the village, I ran into Daya and the others. He came over and put his arm around my shoulder: “Brother Xia, Brother Xia, want to go to the river to look for clams?”

I shook off his hand: “No! I told you, don’t call me Brother Xia anymore.”

Daya laughed: “If you stop wearing your brother’s shorts and T-shirts and put on a dress, I won’t call you Brother Xia.”

The other boys laughed too.

I got angry: “Fine, I will! My mom promised to buy me one today. Just wait and see!”

I looked forward to my first birthday celebrated just for me.

I imagined myself wearing a pink dress, walking from one end of the village to the other, telling Daya and the others, “Look, I’m wearing a dress!”

I waited from bright daylight until night fell.

At last, my parents came home with my brother.

They were beaming, carrying big bags, full of excitement: “Xiaoxia, your brother went to take the entrance exam for Chengnan Private Middle School today, and he passed on the spot!”

“Getting into Chengnan is like having one foot in No. 1 Middle School…”

I didn’t really listen, my hands kept rummaging through the bags.

Hoping to find a hint of pink.

But after searching again and again, all I found were new clothes, shoes, socks, and workbooks for my brother.

I looked up and asked Mom, “Where’s my dress?”

“What dress?”

My voice was tinged with tears: “It’s my birthday today. You promised to buy me a dress.”

“My dress, where is my dress?”

Mom suddenly remembered:

“Oh, I forgot.

“What’s the point of wearing a dress in the countryside? It’s not practical and gets dirty easily.

“Your brother has a short-sleeved shirt from last year that was too small for him. I’ll find it for you later.

“It’s brand new, never worn.

“In a couple of days, it’s your brother’s birthday. Like before, you two siblings can celebrate together. I’ll cook a chicken for you then.”