To Love a Ruined Man - Chapter 16
Xie Yun’s Perspective.
I have never told anyone that my feelings for Zhao Yunshu could truly be called love at first sight.
Because before Zhao Yunshu ran away from her marriage, even I didn’t realize that I had fallen for her long ago.
My grandfather arranged for me to marry Zhao Yunshu, the granddaughter of General Xuanwei.
Before meeting Zhao Yunshu, my impression of her was limited to the few words my grandfather left behind.
“She’s a very interesting child, Ah Yun, you’ll like her.”
I didn’t take my grandfather’s words to heart.
All these years, everyone knew I had a fiancée.
General Xuanwei’s family had fled after being convicted, so this marriage naturally could not be made public.
My grandfather had long declared to outsiders that my fiancée was the granddaughter of an old friend.
The Zhao family had lived under assumed names for years and had never contacted the Prince Heir’s residence.
I simply thought they had given up on this marriage.
Until Zhao Yunshu came to the capital.
The Treasure Pavilion had branches across the land; my informants were everywhere.
This Second Miss Zhao had been missing for ten years, and as soon as she returned to the Zhao family, she came straight to the capital. I thought she was here to fulfill the marriage contract.
To be honest, I was a little curious about this fiancée I had never met.
After all, my grandfather had risked his life to save General Xuanwei’s family, and in the end, he asked for nothing in return-only arranged a fiancée for me.
I heard she went to the famous Treasure Tower in the capital to pick out a gift, so I went to take a look.
“I only have ten taels of silver in my pocket! Any little trinket here costs at least a hundred taels!”
She was speaking to a tall attendant beside her.
The attendant replied with a worried look, “You’re going to the Prince Heir’s residence to pay a visit, you can’t show up empty-handed, that would be too abrupt.”
I stood in the shadows, watching Zhao Yunshu closely.
She was dressed rather carelessly, wearing a gray robe that was neither new nor old, her hair tied up in a messy fashion.
Seeing her disheveled hair made my fingers itch; I really wanted to redo her hairstyle.
Suddenly, Zhao Yunshu turned her head and looked in my direction.
Caught off guard, I got a clear look at her face.
She had a pair of calm yet bright eyes, like a blade flashing cold light in the dead of night.
Zhao Yunshu wasn’t exactly beautiful, but she was unforgettable to those who saw her.
She seemed like a fawn among fierce beasts, wearing a wolf’s mask, silently hiding her kindness.
She looked healthy and full of vitality.
Through a specially made screen, I could see her, but she couldn’t see me.
She seemed to suspect someone was watching her from behind the screen and raised her messy eyebrows.
After she left, I sat quietly in the Treasure Tower for a while.
When I returned to the Prince Heir’s residence, my mother asked me, “Did you meet Second Miss Zhao? Your grandfather said the Zhao family runs an escort business, so Second Miss Zhao must have a free-spirited personality. Although our families are quite different in status, as long as she’s a good person, I support your marriage.”
My grandfather only told outsiders that he had encountered mountain bandits while traveling years ago.
Old Master Zhao happened to be escorting goods and saved my grandfather’s life.
To repay this life-saving favor, the marriage was arranged.
My mother is simple-minded; she doesn’t know about the past between my grandfather and General Xuanwei.
I thought for a moment and said, “If the gift she brings when she visits isn’t to your liking, please don’t make things difficult for her.”
After saying this, I got up and left.
The next day, Zhao Yunshu did indeed come to visit.
I could tell she had tried her best to dress up.
She wore a light blue dress, her hair carefully styled into a bun.
From head to toe, except for a single silver hairpin, there was nothing of value on her.
Even the maids serving my mother looked more presentable than her.
But for some reason,
As soon as she entered the main hall, I felt the room brighten.
After meeting me, I could clearly see the word “disappointment” in her eyes.
She was not satisfied with me as her fiancé.
I doubt she even spent all her ten taels of silver.
She brought my mother a kite.
My mother was actually very pleased with the kite.
As for me…
We strolled together in the garden, and she took out a heart-shaped stone.
Zhao Yunshu stuffed the stone into my hand, lowered her head shyly, and said, “Prince Heir, the bulrush is as fragile as silk, but the rock is unchanging. My heart for you is just like this rock.”
I held that stone, probably fished out of some river, speechless for a long time.
Zhao Yunshu stayed at the Prince Heir’s residence for a month.
She came to see me every day.
There was nothing serious, she just ate all the snacks in my study.
Today she praised my inkstone, tomorrow she praised the jade pendant at my waist.
When she left, her bundle was bulging, filled with things I had given her.
But from beginning to end, she never mentioned when we would get married.
My mother said suspiciously, “Ah Yun, I really don’t think Second Miss Zhao is interested in you.”
Even my mother could see it, so it was clear Zhao Yunshu truly wasn’t interested in me.
Holding that stone, I thought to myself, what unchanging rock-just empty words.
Zhao Yunshu probably never loved anyone; she couldn’t even pretend.
Sure enough, the next time I saw her, she came to break off the engagement.
I sat on the street, surrounded by a cacophony of noise.
One of my ears had been beaten deaf, and my head throbbed with pain.
Zhao Yunshu’s voice reached my ear, sudden and unexpected.
“I’ve come to break off the engagement at this time. You don’t think I’m kicking you while you’re down, do you?”
I opened my eyes and saw her squatting in front of me.
She looked at me, her tone betraying a hint of guilt.
For someone as stingy as Zhao Yunshu, it was surprising that she was willing to spend silver to redeem me.
Originally, I had planned to put on an act here and have my subordinates buy me back.
Her arrival, however, disrupted my plan.
Zhao Yunshu never wanted to be burdened with me. But the moment I mentioned silver, she couldn’t resist.
Knowing she was from Qingzhou, I suggested we go there.
Zhao Yunshu’s thoughts were practically written on her face.
It was obvious: free silver shouldn’t be wasted, and she was heading back to Qingzhou anyway.
The road back to Qingzhou was far from peaceful.
We encountered many assassination attempts.
But as long as Zhao Yunshu was there, we always managed to escape danger.
She drew her bow and shot arrows with the grace of flowing water.
When she killed with her blade, there wasn’t the slightest ripple in her eyes.
At night, when we traveled, we sometimes camped outdoors.
When bored, Zhao Yunshu would lie on a tree branch and play her short flute.
But her playing was truly awful, and I endured it again and again.
Zhao Yunshu exclaimed in delight, “Looks like I’ve really improved! You’re the first person to hear me play the flute without cursing.”
I thought to myself, sometimes being half-deaf isn’t so bad.
She jumped down and sat beside me, asking enthusiastically, “Is there a tune you want to hear? I’ll play it for you.”
Zhao Yunshu sat very close to me; if I turned my head, I could see the small freckles on her face.
I asked softly, “Can you play ‘Phoenix Seeks Phoenix’?”
“Why does everyone like that tune?” Zhao Yunshu muttered. “I learned it once to help someone woo a girl.”
I wondered silently, who else liked to hear her play ‘Phoenix Seeks Phoenix’?
As we neared Qingzhou, Zhao Yunshu made no effort to hide her identity.
I played along, pretending to have just discovered she was the granddaughter of General Xuanwei.
Zhao Yunshu was someone with many people in her eyes, but few in her heart.
Old General Zhao barely counted as someone she cared about.
I took advantage of Zhao Yunshu’s filial piety to bring up our marriage.
But she didn’t care at all, casually suggesting that Zhao Mingyue marry me instead.
My anger had nowhere to go, so I could only tempt her with my identity as Pavilion Master of the Treasure Pavilion.
Zhao Yunshu had always been money-minded, and immediately agreed to marry me.
At that moment, I was immensely grateful that, out of boredom in my youth, I had founded the Treasure Pavilion.
Now, it had become the only thing about me that Zhao Yunshu valued.
She lived a lazy, carefree life, indifferent to food, clothing, or possessions.
She enjoyed delicacies as much as plain steamed buns with water.
Dressed in fine silks, she was a bright-eyed, charming young woman.
In coarse linen, holding a wine bowl, she could call anyone brother.
Every time I held her hand and felt the calluses and lingering scars from frostbite, I thought of many things.
For example, after we married, I would use the best ointments to care for her hands.
In the mornings, I would patiently tie her hair and shape her brows.
Her unruly, always-losing-money Broker Army-I would help her strategize.
I would give Zhao Yunshu everything I could.
But I could never hold on to her, never truly grasp her.
Zhao Yunshu was a cloud, a wisp of wind.
She was free.
“Your Highness, I hope you won’t blame Yunshu,” Old General Zhao knelt before me, begging me to forgive Zhao Yunshu.
She had run away from the wedding, without the slightest warning.
But when she left, she took the betrothal letter and gifts I had given her.
She left me a letter.
[Xie Yun, if you truly become emperor, I will congratulate you from afar. If you are defeated, I will ride a thousand miles to rescue you. Thank you for combing my hair and applying ointment for me. I leave Mute Uncle to you; he is skilled in medicine and trustworthy. May we both be well when we meet again, no matter how high the mountains or how far the rivers.]
In three years, I pacified the realm and placed Xie Xiao on the throne.
After his coronation, he pursed his lips and asked me, “Brother, are you going to leave me?”
“I won’t leave. I’ll wait in the capital for someone,” I told him.
After Zhao Yunshu disappeared, her twenty thousand Broker Army quietly dispersed.
Over the past three years, those Broker Army members were like seeds, silently taking root and sprouting everywhere.
Escort agencies, gambling houses, distilleries, pawnshops.
In every walk of life, the Broker Army was everywhere.
I sent word that on the third day of the third month, I would marry the Zhao family’s young lady.
The entire capital knew of this.
I waited quietly for Zhao Yunshu to return.
She was clever; when she received the message, she would know I was threatening her.
Though the Broker Army had long since blended into all walks of life, each with their own livelihood,
as long as I wished, my message could reach every one of them.
These former bandits and rebels-if I wanted to kill them, it would be as easy as turning my hand.
If I didn’t see Zhao Yunshu on the third day of the third month, I would make an example of them.
The day before the third day of the third month, Zhao Yunshu did indeed return, travel-worn and weary.
She stood before me, real and tangible, and smiled at me.
