Chapter 24

I called in sick for Li Kai, telling his work that he was having recurring, unexplained fevers. Since the local hospital couldn’t figure out the cause, I wanted to take him to see a specialist elsewhere.

During the pandemic, everyone was very sensitive about fevers.

Li Kai’s supervisor quickly approved the leave, even telling me not to rush back to work and to wait until they had a clear diagnosis.

My intention in doing this was to scare Su Yuluo.

After returning from the hospital, even before the syphilis and HIV results were out, Li Kai’s condition deteriorated rapidly.

He would have episodes of mania-climbing to high places, singing loudly, acting erratically-followed by periods of depression where he would be withdrawn, muttering to himself, his eyes vacant, like a walking corpse.

Sometimes he would ask for his medication, and other times he would see the pills and suddenly throw them all away. He even started showing suicidal tendencies.

Finally, “forced by the circumstances,” I took Li Kai’s medical records from the hospital and had him admitted to Ankang Hospital, our local psychiatric hospital.

As I was leaving the hospital, I called my mother-in-law.

It was only then that I learned that Li Kai’s father had died from the torment of mental illness.

When Li Kai was ten years old, he had witnessed his own father hang himself.

I am a materialist, an atheist.

Although some mental illnesses are medically considered to be hereditary, bipolar disorder is not necessarily one of them.

If he hadn’t cheated, hadn’t betrayed our marriage and our love, even if he had developed bipolar disorder due to some other stress in his life, I would have had the confidence to get through it with him.

I would have even sold our house and car to travel the world with him to help him heal.