Chapter 15: Damn, She's Taking the Initiative!

Su Qing’s words ignited the desire Zhang Cheng had held back all evening. He sat up so abruptly his knee struck the bed.

“Then could we find work somewhere else? Be my girlfriend. We could move to a city where nobody knows us, find jobs and… get married someday.”

He’d asked before and she’d refused, but a small hope remained that she might say yes now. Su turned and gave him a helpless look.

“Stop dreaming.” Her voice was soft, but the words struck his heart like a stone. “I’ve told you, we come from different worlds. I graduated from university and could find another decent office job. What can you do besides drive? I’m not looking down on you; that’s reality. A different city and different jobs wouldn’t change it.”

His hope went cold. He wanted to say he could learn, that they should try, but swallowed the words. The crumpled payslip in his pocket said six thousand yuan. He could barely support himself. What future could he offer her?

“Then why say you want to be intimate with me?” he asked miserably.

“Wanting that doesn’t mean I like or love you. Wanting something and deciding whether we can or should do it are different.” She turned back to her phone. “I’ve been worried about your safety. If we keep making our act real, Zhou Mingyuan won’t let you go. He wouldn’t tolerate a driver betraying him, much less taking the woman he wants.”

Zhang looked at her small shadow on the wall. Her presence had made the shabby apartment feel like home. He dreaded the day she’d leave and he’d be alone again with an empty wall and instant noodles.

“Then keep holding back,” he said hoarsely. “Things are good as they are. You wash my clothes and mop, and I cook noodles for you. At least I have someone to talk to, someone to see.”

“Mm.”

Neither slept. Afraid he’d lose control and the little warmth he had, Zhang took his pillow to the living-room sofa. Under the orange streetlight, he searched job listings on his phone: driver, security guard, factory worker. Even the best paid only eight thousand yuan, not enough for one of Su’s skincare products. His parents kept urging him to find a partner and save money, yet he could barely manage his own life.

“Is this all I’ll ever be?” He stared at his reflection in the screen: messy hair, dark circles and a faded T-shirt. Frustrated, he struck the sofa.

He remembered Lin’s promise to protect him and Su’s claim that she wouldn’t worry about living with a playboy who kept emotion out of it. Getting rich was a dream. Perhaps he should study how to be a playboy instead. If he kept their secret, a few happy years might be possible, extraordinary luck for a poor driver like him.

He searched Baidu: How do you become a convincing playboy? He studied the results until morning.

At dawn Su emerged in a pale yellow silk nightdress, rubbing her waist. Finding him awake, she looked relieved, disappointed and glad at once. “I thought you wouldn’t be able to resist last night. You’ve surprised me.”

“I spent the night studying how to be a playboy,” he said eagerly. “I want to be a convincing one.”

Her eyes brightened. She sat beside him, their shoulders almost touching. “Did you learn anything? Can you become one quickly?”

“I don’t know how yet, but I realized something. A beautiful woman could never belong to a poor driver like me. If she’s intimate with another man, I have no reason to be jealous or hurt. If I’m lucky enough to sleep with her, I should enjoy it and not dream of forever.”

“Good. You’re finally growing up.” Delighted, she kissed his cheek.

“There’s more. You don’t belong to Zhou Mingyuan. He only desires your looks and wants to use his position to get you. If we’re intimate, we’re not wronging anyone.”

“Kiss me.” Su leaned into his arms, slipped her hands around his neck and looked up at him expectantly.