Chapter 4: A Hope for the Future

With the fight over, Yao Dachong and the others took their bedding outside. Where they slept was their own problem.

“What are you waiting for? Eat!” Gao Yuan picked up his bowl and began his meal.

Shen Shuting gazed at him. Whatever she was thinking brought a sudden flush to her cheeks, and the porridge tasted especially sweet when she took a mouthful. Mu Baizhi lowered her head and sipped in small bites. Feng Lingxue and Lin Hongxiu carried their bowls off to one side.

Gao Yuan studied Mu Baizhi. Her surname was unusual, scarcely heard of in Wei, and her table manners reminded him of a small southern kingdom that had been destroyed several years ago.

Feng Lingxue and Lin Hongxiu were plainly no ordinary women either. But he would get nothing useful by questioning them now. There was no hurry; he could ask once he had regained his strength.

……

Outside, Yao Dachong and the others huddled in a corner, wrapped in their filthy quilts.

“Something’s strange about Gao Yuan,” one muttered. “It’s like he’s a different man. The look in his eyes could eat you alive.”

“You can say that again. Fuck!” Fourth Ding edged closer to Yao and lowered his voice. “Brother Yao, what do we do now?”

Yao sneered. “Now? You think he’ll live past tomorrow?”

Fourth Ding slapped his forehead. “Right! How could I forget he’s in the vanguard? A handful of men like that won’t stand a chance!”

Cruel anticipation glinted in Yao’s eye. “Put up with it for now. Once he’s dead, the captives and the room will be ours.” He spoke of forcing himself on them.

……

After supper, an oil lamp flickered inside the room, casting shifting shadows over them.

Shen Shuting gathered dry grass, tied some into a small broom, and swept the earthen sleeping platform. She carefully spread the rest of the grass out and laid the bedding on top. The place had looked like a dog’s den; now it was a little tidier.

She was the very picture of a capable wife and mother. Gao Yuan was surprised. Shen Shuting had grown up in a distinguished household, yet she worked with practiced ease. He could only wonder what hardships she had endured on the road to exile.

As she made the bed, her ill-fitting clothes rode up, revealing pale skin. Gao Yuan’s breathing tightened. She came from a wealthy family, and even after all her suffering, her beauty remained.

When the beds were ready, Shen Shuting brought clean water in a wooden basin. She waited until Gao Yuan had washed before washing herself, as if she really were attending to her husband.

Feng Lingxue and Lin Hongxiu stood silently to one side. Mu Baizhi curled up in a dark corner, wondering whether something terrible was about to happen.

Gao Yuan looked at them. “It’s late. Find somewhere to sleep.”

He lay down on his own bedding at the edge of the platform. Feng Lingxue, Lin Hongxiu, and Mu Baizhi stared at him in surprise.

Feng Lingxue had prepared excuses to get through the night. She had never expected him to leave the captives undisturbed, especially with a desperate battle awaiting him tomorrow. She wondered whether he might have an intimate problem of his own.

Whatever the reason, it was welcome news. At least they could spend the night in peace. By tomorrow the poison in Lin Hongxiu’s body should have faded, giving them a fair chance of escape.

For now, they would rest.

With Yao Dachong and the others gone, there was just enough room. Feng Lingxue chose the place farthest from Gao Yuan, and Lin Hongxiu lay beside her. Mu Baizhi was a step too late and had to take the middle. Only Shen Shuting chose to lie next to Gao Yuan, without putting a wooden divider between them.

The lamp was blown out. The house fell quiet except for the sound of breathing and the mountain wind brushing the paper windows.

Gao Yuan remained awake. It was not that he was a model of virtue; with his life at stake, he had no time to think about what lay between his legs.

The Gao family was gone, taking his escape route with it. He could rely only on himself. First he had to survive tomorrow’s battle; then he needed to build a force of his own. Only then would he have a way to live in this chaotic world.

A bold idea began to form, and his gaze hardened. Fortune favored the daring. He had been reborn into the kind of turbulent age men dreamed about; if he failed to make something of himself, what a waste that would be.

As he pondered, a faint movement sounded beside him. He turned and met Shen Shuting’s eyes.

“Still awake?” he asked.

“I can’t sleep,” she whispered. “You’re going to battle tomorrow. I’m worried.”

He smiled. “I’ll be all right. Get some sleep.”

She suddenly took his hand. “You’re the only man left in the Gao family. Whatever happens, please find a way to stay alive, all right?”

His heart tightened. He understood that he was this lonely, helpless woman’s last hope.

“All right. I promise.” He nodded firmly.

He thought she would soon fall asleep, but after a moment she edged closer. Her body trembled and felt warm against his.

What was she doing? Surely she didn’t mean…

His heart quickened. When he did not pull away, she put an arm around him and began to caress him.

Gao Yuan lost his composure. If she went on, things could easily get out of hand. He caught her wrist and whispered, “Sister-in-law, what are you doing?”

She trembled. Then she brought her lips close to his ear. “Yuan, I… I want to take this chance to give the Gao family a child.” Her soft voice shook with nerves.

Shen Shuting was not a frivolous woman. She saw no other way. Even with his promise, she could not set her mind at ease. Swords had no eyes, and no one knew what tomorrow would bring. While there was still time, she wanted to conceive a child of the Gao family—a final hope for its future.

Gao Yuan swallowed. Summoning the last of his reason, he said, “This isn’t right.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it! You chose me, so I’m already your woman. Yuan, please. I’m begging you.” Shen Shuting had made up her mind.