chapter 18

Qi Sinian had changed.

I had noticed it a long time ago.

He started lying, sugarcoating our relationship and our past.

He didn’t want me appearing in public and took me to social events less and less often.

That year, I said I wanted to go back to visit my mother’s grave.

Without even looking up, he said, “I’m busy lately. Go by yourself. I’ll have the driver take you.”

That same day, he had been drinking and allowed the woman pouring his wine to stand on her tiptoes and give him a kiss.

Filthy.

I watched coldly.

I only felt that Qi Sinian was absolutely filthy.

How did he dare?

So that night, an unextinguished incense burner set the curtains ablaze, and a fire quickly broke out.

Qi Sinian was passed out drunk on the bed.

I sat beside him, watching expressionlessly.

I thought: Let’s die together.

What have I been struggling for all this time?

This life is truly meaningless.

Until the alarm on my phone, reminding me to take my medicine, suddenly went off.

“I’m the baby, and the baby’s name is Yanyan.”

“I’m the baby, and the baby’s name is Yanyan.”

That was what he had said so solemnly during his self-introduction on his first day of kindergarten, carrying his little backpack.

“I’m the baby, and the baby’s name is Yanyan.”

He had shouldered his little backpack and shouted at the Old Master, “I’m going to find my mommy! I spend every day with you and none with her. She’s going to miss me!”

He said he wanted me to go to the aquarium with him so he could let the dolphins kiss me too.

He had prepared a birthday gift for me, but it was a secret he wouldn’t tell-it was a particularly beautiful stone.

He was all grown up now and didn’t want to sleep in the toddler bed in his room anymore; it was too childish. He wanted to sleep in a big bed.

He said he’d come see me when he was on break and told me not to miss him too much.

What would happen if he couldn’t see me anymore?

I was never afraid-not of pain, not of hardship, and not of death.

But once I had a child…

I was suddenly afraid.

Afraid of getting sick, afraid of accidents, afraid of dying.

I couldn’t bear to leave him.

Such a tiny little person, yet countless invisible threads stretched out from him, pulling me back.

Suddenly, I bolted upright.

Half-dragging and half-pulling Qi Sinian, I hauled him out of the fire.

I lay on the ground, gasping for breath.

In that moment, looking at Qi Sinian beside me, I suddenly felt like I wanted to forgive him.