Chapter 170

Chapter 170

After spending two days at the manor, Xie Qiyan kept a close eye on Yao Qin’s every move. During that time, he also met with her attending physicians. They were the most authoritative team of local psychiatric experts.

But faced with Yao Qin’s condition, all they could say was that her family needed to cooperate in supervising her medication.

Medication was inevitable.

As for whether she could recover, or when she might recover, no one dared to make any promises.

As long as Yao Qin’s mood was stable, Xia Wanzhi would openly wander around in front of her. Sometimes Yao Qin would ask strange, nonsensical questions. After considering them and making sure they would not trigger any bad emotions, Xia Wanzhi would simply play along and answer.

They talked about flowers and grass, bricks and tiles. Occasionally, Yao Qin would even ask how she and Xie Qiyan had fallen in love.

At the mention of Xie Qiyan, Xia Wanzhi hesitated. Yao Qin was sharp, and seeing her like that, she smiled and asked directly, “If you have something to say, just say it. Why are you hemming and hawing? Are you still being polite with me?”

Since her mother-in-law had already spoken, Xia Wanzhi leaned closer and asked quietly, “What do you think of my Lover?”

She did not dare mention Xie Qiyan by name, afraid that hearing it would make Yao Qin turn into another version of herself again.

Every other night, when Xia Wanzhi saw Yao Qin again, she would first test whether Yao Qin still remembered her.

Not far away, Liu Shubai and Xie Qiyan were tending to the flowers and plants. From this distance, they could see Xia Wanzhi and Yao Qin chatting happily, but they could not hear exactly what the two were saying.

When the two men looked up, Yao Qin happened to be smiling back at them.

Liu Shubai, who had just been deemed an eyesore and exiled over here to weed, lowered his head guiltily.

Xie Qiyan did not move.

He knew that Yao Qin’s gaze was directed at him.

Meeting her eyes, Xie Qiyan curved his lips into a smile.

Yao Qin laughed out loud. Imitating Xia Wanzhi, she also leaned closer and whispered, “He’s tall, handsome, and has a good personality. And, well, he’s quite fair-skinned.”

She thought that his mother must have been fair-skinned too. Otherwise, how could she have given birth to a son with skin so clear and pale?

Xia Wanzhi’s eyes curved. “I think so too.”

The sky was blue as if freshly washed. Beneath that deep blue sky, there were a few more lovely people.

A faint smile rippled at the corners of Yao Qin’s mouth. Suddenly, she said, “I wonder what my Ayan will look like when he grows up.”

Xia Wanzhi froze. Instinctively holding her breath, she stared blankly at Yao Qin.

But Yao Qin had only sighed with emotion. In the next second, it was as if she had forgotten what she had said. She yawned and said she was sleepy.

There was no need to call him. From far away, Liu Shubai saw Yao Qin yawn and consciously washed his hands clean before coming over to push Yao Qin back inside.

“What happened?” Xie Qiyan asked as he took off his gloves and walked over. Seeing Xia Wanzhi’s expression, he immediately grew tense. “Did she react?”

Xia Wanzhi came back to herself and nodded. “She asked what her Ayan would look like when he grew up.”

A light breeze brushed their faces. Xie Qiyan fell silent for a moment.

Xia Wanzhi looked into his eyes, her voice soft and gentle. “She said you’re tall, handsome, fair-skinned, and that you have a good personality.”

Yao Qin was satisfied with him.

Xia Wanzhi watched Xie Qiyan’s reaction. Seeing him smile, her own heart finally settled as well. She reached out with both hands, held his index and middle fingers, and played with them as she tilted her head. “She’s very satisfied with you.”

Xie Qiyan bent down until his eyes were level with Xia Wanzhi’s, not humble in the slightest. “Mm. She gave birth to me. Of course she’s satisfied.”

Xia Wanzhi scolded him lightly. “You’re pretty narcissistic.”

Xie Qiyan did not deny it. Instead, he asked, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Xia Wanzhi lifted her chin.

Xie Qiyan took the opportunity to brush his lips against hers. “Are you satisfied with me?”

Xia Wanzhi smiled and kissed him. At a time like this, she was not stingy with her praise. “Satisfied. Very satisfied.”

“Me too.” Xie Qiyan’s eyes shifted, full of deep affection.

With her by his side, he had the greatest peace of mind.

Xia Wanzhi gave a little huff. “I know. I didn’t ask whether you were satisfied or not.”

Would Xie Qiyan dare not be satisfied?

–

If Yao Qin over the past two days had been full of life, then today’s Yao Qin was a flower bud that had lost all vitality, drooping as she sat in her wheelchair and knitted a sweater.
She had no expression and said nothing. Occasionally, she would close her eyes for a brief rest, but the work in her hands never stopped. Xia Wanzhi had no idea how she managed it. She sat quietly off to the side, watching her, her heart feeling as though something were lodged in it, unbearably heavy.

In the evening, a doctor came by for a routine check-in. Yao Qin cooperated with the examination, answering whatever the doctor asked. Her condition was much better than it had been that morning.

A little later, Liu Shubai fed her medicine. He was just helping her lie down to rest when he heard her say calmly, “He is Ayan, isn’t he?”

Liu Shubai’s bent back suddenly went rigid. In disbelief, he met her clear gaze.

Yao Qin tugged at the corners of her lips in a smile. Hidden in that faint, bitter smile was a joy that seemed ready to burst free. “He came in the end.”

After a long while, Liu Shubai’s lips trembled slightly. His voice was heavy. “Yes. He came looking for you. He… searched for a very long time.”

“Does he blame me?” Yao Qin lowered her lashes, as if talking to herself. “He must blame me.”

Liu Shubai shook his head again and again. “If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I was the one who took you away.”

Schizophrenia was not amnesia. Much of the time, Yao Qin remembered Xie Qiyan. She remembered many things from the past. But the energy inside her was almost in the negatives, and most of the time, she buried that longing deep in her heart.

She knew she was ill. She knew how wretched she looked.

Someone like her had no right to see her Little Ah Yan.

All these years, her moods had been unpredictable, and Liu Shubai had tolerated and cared for her in every way. Most of the time she did not speak. When Liu Shubai could not tell whether she was lucid, he would coax her like a child, rambling nonsense and spinning all sorts of ridiculous stories.

Whenever she occasionally asked about Xie Tianqi, Liu Shubai, probably angry, would tell her with great sorrow that Xie Tianqi had died in a car accident.

The next time she asked, Liu Shubai would say Xie Tianqi had done something terrible, been arrested, and sentenced to death.

Ask again, and he would say Xie Tianqi had been struck dead by lightning.

…

Every once in a while, Xie Tianqi would die all over again, each time in a different way.

Yao Qin found it amusing, but she never exposed him.

If he talked, she listened.

But Liu Shubai did not know what Yao Qin was thinking.

All he knew was to take care of her and make sure she was safe and sound every day.

Her desire to seek death grew stronger by the day, yet Liu Shubai refused to let her die.

But she could not control her own thoughts.

So even when her mind was clear, she still looked as though she wanted nothing and asked for nothing.

She did not dare go see her Little Ah Yan in this state, and she had long since given up on seeking an explanation from Xie Tianqi. So even when she was lucid, she would not tell Liu Shubai.

Perhaps this body did not have many days left. Yao Qin did not want to give Liu Shubai hope.

Every day, she waited for death.

Only by dying could she be freed from all suffering.

She wanted to go up to heaven and grow flowers with her grandmother. She wanted to watch over her Little Ah Yan from above.

She had already made up her mind. This was how her life would be.

Until Xie Qiyan came.

And even brought his wife with him.

When she realized that everything happening was real, Yao Qin’s feelings were complicated. She did not have the courage to face Xie Qiyan, and she was afraid she might suddenly fall ill and frighten him.

“More than twenty years…” Yao Qin murmured, her eyes a little unfocused. “This year, he…”

“He’s twenty-seven.” Liu Shubai picked up where she left off, still unable to hide his excitement. “He’s grown up. He’s become a strong, upright man.”

Then Yao Qin smiled, tears streaming endlessly down her face.

Liu Shubai sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his arms. Again and again, she cried out Xie Qiyan’s name. Again and again, she said she was sorry.

After she had exhausted herself from crying, Yao Qin fell into a deep sleep. Only then did Liu Shubai raise a hand to wipe the tear tracks from his own face. He tucked the blanket around her, then held her hand and kept watch by her side.

The night was quiet. Liu Shubai’s voice was hoarse. “Ah Yao, do you want to go back?”

She had always wanted to go back.

He was the one who had not allowed it.

After all these years, perhaps it was time to let go.

With Xie Qiyan there, she would be safe and sound.