Chapter 167

Chapter 167

“When you were ten, she went back to look for you,” Liu Shubai suddenly said, bringing up the past without warning.

From the moment he dialed that number, introduced himself to Xie Qiyan, and gave them his address in Ireland, allowing them to come find him, Liu Shubai had already decided to tell them everything.

It was not because he felt guilty, nor because he regretted anything.

He had simply come to understand that he was not Yao Qin’s cure.

He could not save Yao Qin.

Xie Qiyan froze sharply. His feverish mind cooled in an instant. After thinking it through from beginning to end, he said in a low voice, “The year she had a dispute with Hou Mengqiu and fell into the river. I know.”

Liu Shubai looked at him in surprise.

Xia Wanzhi explained, “He waited for his mother for more than twenty years. Mr. Liu, for as long as you had his mother, he spent just as long searching for her. He never let go of even the slightest clue.”

Liu Shubai’s throat tightened. His lips trembled faintly, but no words came out.

After a long while, he continued, “Maybe she wasn’t going to look for you. By then, she was already ill. She went to find Xie Tianqi because she wanted a reason why he had abandoned his wife and child.”

After saying that, he gave a cold laugh and shook his head. “No. She wanted to see exactly what was so much better about the woman who had stolen her husband…”

That year, in the dead silence of Beicheng before dawn, what Liu Shubai saw when he arrived was Yao Qin on the surface of the river, having given up struggling.

She wanted to die.

After Liu Shubai realized she was suffering from depression, he had guessed she might be suicidal.

That was why he had always blamed himself for failing to watch over her. Because of one moment of carelessness, Yao Qin had slipped out of his sight, and she had nearly lost her life.

If he had not arrived in time that night…

Liu Shubai did not dare think about it any further.

Back then, after Yao Qin sent Xie Qiyan to the Xie Family, she had been living in Yangliu Lane in the north of the city. Even then, Yao Qin had already been carrying years of pent-up sorrow. It was just that no one had noticed.

Liu Shubai loved Yao Qin. He had loved her since the second year of middle school, when they became neighbors and then deskmates.

They went to school together, then got into the same high school together. Young hearts awakened to first love. Five years of companionship, five years of affection, buried in his heart for a very long time.

What Liu Shubai regretted most was that he had not confessed those feelings after graduating from senior year. Then, pressured by his family, he went abroad.

By the time he returned to Nancheng, Yao Qin was already married with a child. She had married Xie Tianqi, a man seven years older than her, after falling in love at first sight.

But even after she married, he still thought of her.

He hid his feelings under the name of friendship, intentionally and unintentionally stealing glimpses into her life.

He watched her love another man. Watched her child grow day by day.

Until that man abandoned her.

He ached for her. He hated him. Yet, in secret, he was glad he had another chance.

But then he discovered that she loved that man deeply-so deeply that she rejected anyone else who tried to come near her.

After Yao Qin went to Beicheng, Liu Shubai could not leave because of work, so he could only send people to protect her in secret. When he learned that Hou Mengqiu intended to make a move against her, he had someone go to Yangliu Lane in advance and bring her back to Nancheng.

He told her how dangerous it would be to remain in Beicheng and analyzed the pros and cons for her.

Xie Qiyan was in the Xie Family. In order to ensure her own safety, and also Xie Qiyan’s safety, Yao Qin eventually quieted down and compromised.

That departure lasted five years. Over those five years, he approached her, stayed by her side, and tried to pull her out of her suffering. But she had sealed herself away and rejected the feelings he laid bare before her.

Every day, she lived in the past, in the beautiful memories she had shared with Xie Tianqi. She washed her face with tears all day long. She knew how wretched she looked like that, so she did not dare go see her own son.

Later, she was diagnosed with severe depression. Liu Shubai was afraid she would take her own life, so he stayed with her every step of the way. The only mistake he made was letting her slip out of his control and fly to Beicheng to find Hou Mengqiu.

Just that once, he nearly lost her.

Xie Qiyan had nearly lost his mother too.

“When she fell into the river, she took a trip through the gates of hell. She almost didn’t come back.” Liu Shubai’s face turned abruptly pale just from mentioning it. His voice was filled with lingering fear, and grief surged up in him. “When she woke up again, she didn’t say a word for half a month. When she finally opened her mouth, she smiled and asked me who I was. I thought she’d lost her memory. But a moment later, she recognized me again and cried as she asked me where Xie Tianqi was.”

“After that, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.” Every word Liu Shubai spoke landed on Xie Qiyan’s heart like a heavy blow.

Xie Qiyan’s breath caught. It felt as if he were drowning, as if he had been deprived of oxygen.

“Her depression…” Liu Shubai choked up. As he spoke, his eyes grew wet. He took off his glasses and wiped away his tears before continuing, “Her depression hadn’t even been cured yet. How did falling into the water leave her with schizophrenia too…”

Schizophrenia severed her sense of unity with the outside world. Gradually, she began to sleep more and more. Sometimes she would sleep for an entire day. Sometimes she would become anxious and uncertain. Occasionally, she would murmur Xie Qiyan’s name, then after repeating it for a while, she would suddenly ask who Xie Qiyan was. As time went on, she began speaking incoherently, her thoughts falling into serious disorder. Sometimes she lived inside her own fantasies, saying things no one else could understand. She would even mistake Liu Shubai for Xie Tianqi.

The only thing to be grateful for was that she depended on Liu Shubai and trusted Liu Shubai.

And so Liu Shubai coaxed her every day, weaving one beautiful lie after another for her, staying by her side day after day.

Because those painful years had turned Yao Qin into what she was now, he steeled his heart and took her far away from all of that turmoil.

Including far away from her son.

Over the years, Liu Shubai had found the best medical team to treat her. Yao Qin would still occasionally mention Xie Qiyan and Xie Tianqi’s names, but only for an instant.

Most of the time, she was silent, lifeless.

But she no longer tried to die.

When Liu Shubai stayed with her, she would also smile, like a child.

He had thought that perhaps spending the rest of their lives like this would be fine. But recently, Yao Qin’s consciousness had sometimes been clear and sometimes confused. Sometimes she would calmly discuss with him that she wanted to go back and see her son. But once that clarity passed, she would hold a pair of scissors and stare blankly into space.

She became dull and unresponsive, and she often spoke of death, even giving Liu Shubai instructions for her will.

Sometimes, she would hold a doll as if it were her own son, calling him Ayan as she coaxed him to sleep.

Liu Shubai was afraid. Terrified.

He did not know what was happening to her.

He was afraid he could not save her.