Chapter 9

After Huo Yanchuan returned to the country,

I learned from our mutual friend Jiang Qing that one day, while she was out shopping, she saw Huo Yanchuan and Yu Tang having coffee together in a café.

She even snapped a photo.

Jiang Qing messaged me: [Xia Wu, if you don’t come back soon, Huo Yanchuan will be snatched away by Yu Tang.]

I stared at the message in a daze.

It made me even more certain that Huo Yanchuan wanted a divorce because he still couldn’t forget Yu Tang.

They have a foundation of feelings. If Yu Tang really wants to take him, I don’t stand a chance.

When I was eight months pregnant, Huo Yanchuan came over again.

In the evening, we were walking in the garden when he stopped and asked me, “Xia Wu, tell me, who is the child’s father?”

I used sign language, half-truth, half-testing: [The child’s father is you.]

Huo Yanchuan was amused and annoyed: “What, I can make you pregnant with my mind now?”

For a moment, I wanted to confess to him.

But I held back.

If he knew what I did to him while he was asleep,

He would surely hate me.

I didn’t want to ruin the image I had in his eyes, didn’t want him to hate me.

The next day, he accompanied me shopping for baby clothes and supplies.

He picked things out very seriously.

Again, I felt the urge to confess.

Just as I was about to sign, his phone rang.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the caller was Yu Tang.

He stepped away from me to answer the call.

From a distance, I watched him. He seemed to be arguing with Yu Tang, the two of them having a dispute over the phone.

This was something I could only wish for but never have.

During this time, the results of my vocal cord treatment were not ideal.

The doctor said it would be a slow process.

What Huo Yanchuan wanted was a healthy partner, someone who could talk to him, act cute… even argue, but always respond to him.

Such a simple thing, yet I couldn’t do it.

My inferiority complex got the better of me, and the courage to confess was scattered by that phone call.

When he finished the call and walked over, he asked, “What did you want to say just now?”

I shook my head and signed: [Nothing.]

Huo Yanchuan went to pay for the baby clothes and supplies he’d picked out.

The whole time, I avoided eye contact with him.

When he spoke to me, I only nodded or shook my head indifferently, not even bothering to sign much.

After we got home,

I went to my room to rest and locked the door.

Thinking about him talking to Yu Tang on the phone, my heart felt sour, and my eyes stung a little.

After a while, Huo Yanchuan knocked on the door outside: “Xia Wu, open the door.”

I opened the door and signed: [What is it?]

He looked into my eyes: “Have you been crying?”

I waved my hand to deny it: [No.]

He kept asking: “Was it me answering that call that made you unhappy?”

I shook my head: [I’m not unhappy, just a little tired.]

“No, I know you’re upset.”

“If you’re unhappy, you can express it. Don’t keep it inside, and don’t give me the cold shoulder.”

“Language is just one way to express yourself. There are other ways.”

After he finished speaking, he took out his phone and scrolled to the call log.

Then he opened Yu Tang’s new number.

A prompt popped up on the screen: [Add to blacklist?]

He took my hand and placed it on the screen: “Will you help me block her?”

I seemed to understand what he meant.

He was teaching me that if I was jealous, I could vent it, not bottle it up inside.

I tapped [Add to blacklist] with my finger.

It turned out, Yu Tang’s usual number had long been on Huo Yanchuan’s blacklist.

She called him with a new number.

After personally blocking her new number, I felt much better.

Huo Yanchuan pulled me into his arms and said softly, “If I ever make you unhappy again, just bite me, okay? Let me know how you feel.”

He used to say that after I gave birth, we’d get divorced.

But everything he’s done these past few months doesn’t look like someone preparing for divorce, but someone wanting to live well together.

At this moment, I suddenly wanted to hug him.

After thinking for a moment, I raised my arms and hugged him back.

He smiled, reached out and stroked my back, “If you can’t express your feelings with words, then use more physical gestures with me in the future, okay?”

Alright, I’ve learned.