Married to the Fallen Lord

Chapter 25

Cui Shao stood up and offered me his seat. The letter he had been so focused on was pushed to the side, replaced by a fresh sheet of Xuan paper.

He began to show me how to hold the brush, but my hand simply wouldn’t cooperate. No matter how hard I tried to recall Miss Chen’s posture, the brush seemed to have a mind of its own, refusing to obey me.

“No, this isn’t working. I can’t write.”

I made a move to get up, but as I did, Cui Shao leaned in and covered my hand with his from behind.

His large, well-defined hand was warm against my cold skin, the heat making me restless. His face was pressed right against the tip of my ear, and because he was wearing his cloak, it felt like a warm embrace wrapping us both inside. My nose was filled with the faint, cool scent that always clung to him.

I had intended to turn my head, but I hadn’t expected to brush against his cheek.

I forgot to breathe. My mind went completely blank. By the time I regained my senses, I had already scrambled up and was pressing myself against the edge of the desk. Cui Shao looked stunned too. He touched his cheek and found a streak of ink; only then did I realize I was still clutching the brush.

He blinked. “I heard from your brother. Thank you for what you did for Zishu.”

I tried to steady my racing heart. “We are husband and wife; there is no need for such politeness. Managing the affairs of a household is what I am good at. But outside these walls, I am useless. You are the one meant for great things.”

Cui Shao gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Great things? If that were true, I wouldn’t have fallen this far. The Cui Clan may have seemed glorious, but it was all a facade. I was merely a puppet. I realized it too late. I thought I could make a difference, but I couldn’t even control my own destiny…”

Though the fall of the Cui Clan was common knowledge even to children, this was the first time I had heard it from Cui Shao’s own lips. It was the first time he had shared his inner thoughts, and he couldn’t hide the pain in his voice.

Eighteen months ago, countless memorials were submitted to the throne, accusing the Cui Clan of forming factions for private gain and defying imperial authority. Though the accusations were grave, there was no real evidence. While the Cui Clan was under investigation, Old Master Cui and Old Mistress Cui committed suicide in their home within days. Yet, the matter did not end there. The Emperor placed Cui Shao under house arrest, claiming it was to await the results of the investigation.

But shortly after, the Imperial Uncle submitted a secret report to the Emperor. No one knew what was written in it or what evidence it contained; they only knew that the Cui Clan’s crimes were subsequently confirmed. The clan fell from grace. Claiming to remember the Cui Clan’s past merits, the Emperor merely stripped them of their titles and offices. A month later, the Emperor’s men raided the Cui Family home and confiscated their property. Three months after that, the Emperor ordered Cui Shao to be castrated, ensuring the Cui Clan could never rise again. Only then was Cui Shao left to fend for himself.

All his passion and all his scholarship were worthless in the face of power.

He was nothing more than a puppet for those on high. Anyone could have been Cui Shao. Without the Chen Clan of Qinghe, there would still be a Zhao Clan, a Li Clan, a Sun Clan…

After saying this, Cui Shao seemed to have exhausted his strength. He slumped back into the chair, his expression lost and lonely.

I reached out to wipe the ink stain from his face, then pulled him into my arms.

“Cui Shao, what about your heart? What do you want most in your heart? In the Chen Family, my only thought was how to keep myself and my brother alive. Since coming to the Cui Family, I’ve thought about how to live a better life. What about you?”

“Me?” Cui Shao’s unfocused gaze gradually sharpened, landing on the letter he had pushed aside on the desk.