Love Me Again, Mom - Chapter 17
I watched, but I wasn’t surprised.
It had always been this way for so many years.
But this time, after washing the dishes.
My mother locked herself in my bedroom.
She held my memorial photo, her fingertips trembling as she gently stroked it.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m so sorry, Taotao.”
“You’ve suffered so much all these years. We owe you.”
“Mother owes you.”
“Mother will make everyone come and atone to you.”
She opened a drawer and took out a medicine bottle.
These past few days, she had been waking up from nightmares and had gotten some sleeping pills from the hospital.
I watched her grind up the entire bottle of pills and dissolve them in water.
The next day, she cooked a huge meal, adding sleeping pills to every dish.
After they ate, they became drowsy and went to their rooms to sleep.
And my mother-
She opened all the bedroom doors, locked the main door, collected everyone’s phones, smashed them, and threw them out the window along with the house keys.
Then she shut all the windows tightly.
She turned on the gas, turned the stove to the highest setting, and then doused the flame with water.
After doing all this, she sat on the sofa, holding my memorial photo, and quietly waited for death.
I floated opposite her, watching her.
Just like that day outside the interrogation room glass, face to face with her.
I watched her breathing become more and more rapid, her pupils dilate, her lips turn an eerie cherry red.
I said, “Mother, why are you doing this?”
“Will dying to atone for your sins guarantee forgiveness?”
It won’t.
It won’t.
I will hate you forever.
I will never forgive you.
Her life was slowly fading away.
The faint bond of blood that tied me to her was also fading.
I floated towards the door. The moment I reached it, the restraint completely disappeared.
I heard my mother’s voice, “Taotao!”
Cautious, ecstatic.
“Taotao, is that you?”
“Don’t go yet, Taotao, Mother wants to see you…”
In the end, it was always I who was punished, locked in my room, watching the four of them go out for a stroll as a family.
We didn’t see each other for the last time in life.
Let’s not see each other in death either.
Mother.
My soul gradually broke into particles, dissolving in the wind.
I seemed to see my grandmother.
She was wearing that soft, floral blouse, coming to take my hand.
She said, “I’ve already spent twenty years scouting for our Taotao, and I’ve found a very good family.”
“In the next life, our Taotao will definitely be happy.”
“Then, Grandma will still be your grandma.”
“I’ll plant a toon tree and a peach tree in front of the house.”
The night deepened.
My consciousness had not yet completely dissipated, so I saw the most beautiful scenery in the world.
Countless streams of light streaked across the night sky, scattering among the mountains and seas.
So, there was a meteor shower tonight.
They say wishes made on shooting stars come true.
Then in my next life.
I want to have a loving mother and father.
They don’t have to be rich.
Just a cake on my birthday.
And a red balloon when we go to the amusement park.
That’s all I want.
That’s all.
(The End)
