chapter 3

Luck was not on my side that day; I couldn’t find any work. It wasn’t until nearly noon that I saw a bookshop calling for people to copy books.

Ten pages copied earned just one wen, but the bookshop staff said the requirements weren’t high-neat handwriting would suffice.

I was tempted. Though I knew my belly hadn’t seen two taels’ worth of sesame oil, I still went.

The hall was packed, a dozen or so people sitting in a dense crowd, all heads down, copying away. Only I was scratching my head.

I’d overestimated myself. Eldest Son had taught me to read, but in truth, my handwriting was crooked and awkward. When I came across obscure or difficult characters, we stared at each other blankly-it didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t recognize it.

Beside me, a young man in a brown cloth shirt was copying diligently. I couldn’t help but glance over; his penmanship was as fine as Eldest Son’s, the characters flowing like clouds and water, vivid on the page.

I sighed softly-

“You write so well.”

The young man looked up at me, and our eyes met unexpectedly. He blushed.

Realizing my action was rather abrupt, I hurriedly said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wanted to ask, how do you read this character?”

I pointed to a page in the sample. The young man was taken aback, then replied, “This is the character ‘chong’. ‘A swan soars ten thousand li, flying straight into the vast sky’-it means to fly straight.”

His voice was clear and pleasant. I couldn’t help but ask again, “I see everyone is copying the same content. Why does the bookshop need so many copies?”

He glanced around, lowered his voice, and said, “This is Prince Kang’s new poetry collection from the Capital. It’s all the rage in Huajing. Every prefecture is eager to impress, hoping to show off before Prince Kang. Don’t worry about your handwriting, miss-even if it’s not perfect, the bookshop is just putting on a show for Taozhou Prefecture. They can’t actually sell that many copies.”

“Oh, I see.” I relaxed and smiled at him. “Thank you.”

The young scholar was shy and quickly replied, “No need to thank me, miss.”

I was simply not cut out for this kind of work. While others copied nearly a whole book with divine speed, I was still struggling through my fifth page.

Eventually, I couldn’t hold out any longer; my stomach was rumbling loudly.

The hall was quiet, so the sound was even more noticeable. Embarrassed, I kept my head down and pretended to keep copying.

Soon, a hand reached over from beside me, holding a clean handkerchief with a baked flatbread inside.

It was the young scholar.

I looked up at him, and he said earnestly, “If you don’t mind, miss, please have some.”

Who would mind when starving?

I blushed a little, but hunger won out over shame. I reached out and took the bread.

“Thank you, I’m really starving, so I won’t stand on ceremony.”

That day, the bookshop owner watched me struggle to finish ten pages, his mouth twitching as he reluctantly handed me one wen.

And for that one wen, not only did my mouth twitch, my wrist did too.

If I could just hold out another half month, Second Uncle Pei should be able to send money.

He was serving as a soldier in the Borderland, a middling rank, earning seventy wen a day, with a monthly salary of two taels and one qian.

Thinking of this, I went to the county Yamen and found Yamen Runner Uncle Zhao, thickening my skin to borrow one string of cash from him.

“I’m lending it to you for the sake of your late father-in-law. You’d better remember to pay it back. I’m not well-off myself, with a lame daughter at home.”

“Don’t worry, Uncle Zhao, I’ll definitely pay you back. Xue Yu is a person of her word.”

…

Another twenty days passed like this, and finally Pei Second Son sent four taels of silver.

Receiving the silver from the Military Courier at the post station, I nearly burst into tears.

I bought a whole roast chicken and a piece of braised meat in the county, sliced them up and plated them at home. The moment we tasted them, Xiaotao cried out loudly-

“Ahhh, it’s so delicious! My tongue is going to melt! Thank you, Second Brother! Thank his ancestors for eighteen generations!”

…

With money in hand, I didn’t go back to the county for odd jobs. Instead, I started tinkering with the old water mill in the corner of the yard.

The upper millstone hung from a frame, the lower one fixed to the axle, turned by water, able to grind grain.

Back when Aunt was still around, I used to apply poultices to her knees and often heard her talk about the Pei family’s tofu pudding craft.

Soak beans in well water, grind them into a thick slurry, rub until they squeak, then filter twice with a large sieve and fine cloth.

Boil the slurry in a big pot over a strong fire, then simmer gently; when the surface forms a wrinkled skin, remove from heat.

Grind gypsum into fine powder, mix with water, and pour into a clay jar together with the cooked slurry…

On the south street of Lion Lane in the county market, shops lined the road, stalls nearly reaching Zhou Bridge-the liveliest spot.

The day I copied books at the bookshop and borrowed money from Uncle Zhao, I cried all the way back to the Pei house.

That one wen was earned with too much difficulty and hardship. The long oppression made me doubt if I was truly useless.

After the idea of setting up a stall in Lion Lane came to me, the first thing I thought of was selling tofu pudding.

Because all the old tools from the Pei family’s business were still piled up at home, everything was ready, saving me a lot of trouble.

Aunt once said that making tofu pudding seemed simple, but to make it white and tender, and to prepare authentic Brine Soup, every step mattered.

The soaking time for beans had to match the season, and the clay jar couldn’t be glazed…

When I made tofu pudding for the first time and scooped a few pieces into a bowl, Pei Xiaotao was even more excited than I was: “Sister-in-law! Sister-in-law! You’re amazing, you can do everything!”

But her excitement only lasted two days. Seeing me get up before dawn to grind beans, she started to grumble-

“The money Second Brother sent is enough for us to get by if we’re frugal. Why work so hard?”

“We can’t always rely on your Second Brother. He’s out serving in the army; it’s better if he has some money on hand. If he sends it all home, he’ll be strapped for cash and inconvenienced in everything.

“People should strive for more. If we save up while meeting our needs, life will be better and we’ll feel more secure.”

“Sister-in-law, what do you want to do with the money you save?”

“So many things. I want to send you to school, make new clothes for you and Grandmother, and let you eat roast chicken and braised meat every day.”

I counted on my fingers as I spoke to her: “People should aim high. If we achieve all that, next I want to save up a dowry for you.”

“Why save a dowry for me? Why not save one for yourself?”

“I’m already married. I’m your sister-in-law.”

“Then why not save a dowry for Second Brother? He’s older than me; shouldn’t he get one first?”

“…With your Second Brother’s abilities, he shouldn’t need us to save a dowry for him.”

“Why? Is he really that capable?”
“Impressive, isn’t he? I think he has a great chance of making a name for himself in the future-he might even become a General one day.”

I chatted with her as I ground the soybeans. Pei Xiaotao seemed thoughtful, then asked me, “What about me? What do you think I’ll become?”

“You? Maybe you’ll enter the Son of Heaven’s court, like Qin Liangyu or that Feng Liao, and become a female official.”

“Am I really that amazing?”

“Yes, you’re especially amazing, and you’ll go far.”

The more I said it, the more I started to believe it myself. “When you have a grand residence in Huajing as an official, don’t forget to bring your Sister-in-law over to enjoy the good life. I’ll bask in your glory too, and have seven or eight maids and servants to wait on me.”

“I’ll find you a hundred!”

Pei Xiaotao perked up, grinning as she came over to help. “Sister-in-law, start saving money!”

A few days later, when I felt my skills were decent, I packed two bowls of tofu pudding in a basket and took the donkey cart to Uncle Zhao’s house on the outskirts of the county town.

I paid back the money, mentioned my idea of setting up a stall, and had him taste the tofu pudding.

He said, “The tofu pudding is tender, but the flavor is lacking-it’s not as good as your Uncle Pei’s craftsmanship.”

I was stunned, unable to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Uncle Zhao said, “Authentic Pei Family tofu pudding has a unique flavor that no one else can replicate. Otherwise, the apprentices who left your Uncle Pei’s Shop wouldn’t have lasted more than a year selling it. Most people in Yun’an County Town have tasted your Uncle Pei’s tofu pudding-their palates are picky. Lion Lane isn’t short of people selling it, but business is poor. A bowl of noodles costs fifteen wen, but a bowl of tofu pudding is twenty. If the taste isn’t up to par, folks would rather eat noodles.

“The price of raw beans is what it is. If you sell it cheap, you won’t make money. At twenty wen a bowl, it has to be delicious. That’s why the Pei Family Shop did so well back then.”

My venture failed before it even began, but I didn’t give up.

The next day, I took Xiaotao to the Zhu Family in West Slope Village.

If anyone in Yun’an County still knew the Pei Family tofu pudding recipe, it had to be Pei Mei.

But to my surprise, we were turned away at the door-we didn’t even see Pei Mei.

Pei Xiaotao was indignant. “So stingy! So petty! It’s just a few times we took her cakes!”

“…A few times? Didn’t I tell you not to go there anymore? Did you go back for more pastries?”

“Yep, I did. Ate and took some. The last time, her mother-in-law saw me. You should’ve seen her face-I even politely asked if she was ill.”

“…”

Because of Pei Xiaotao’s mischief, Pei Mei didn’t show up. Instead, a maid with her nose in the air came out and looked at us with disdain-

“Stop clinging to our mistress like a piece of dogskin plaster. She says she doesn’t know the recipe, and even if she did, she wouldn’t tell an outsider. Who wants to do business with you? It’s laughable. Do you know what status our mistress has? Don’t come again!”

As soon as the maid finished, Pei Xiaotao looked nervous. “Who died?”

“What do you mean, who died? What nonsense are you spouting?” The maid snapped.

“Didn’t you say someone laughed to death? My sister’s in this family, I have to ask. Also, don’t glare at me with your nostrils! The holes are too big! I’m scared!”

Pei Xiaotao pointed at her nose, her attitude even fiercer than the maid’s.

I grabbed her by the back of her collar and dragged her away. She still shouted at the maid, “Your nose looks crooked. Remember to see a Doctor. It was ugly to begin with…”

My business plans were put on hold, and I felt down for several days.

Until Uncle Zhao’s daughter, Xiang, came to the Pei Family.

She had come from the county town by donkey cart and brought us sesame crisps from Wuxiangzhai.

I was surprised, since she had trouble walking-she was lame.

Xiang was a pretty girl with a quiet nature. When I went to Uncle Zhao’s house to repay the money, I had seen her, but we only nodded-never spoke.

According to Uncle Zhao, she stopped going out and didn’t like socializing after injuring her left leg at age eleven.

But now she had come to visit, speaking frankly. She asked me, “I heard everything you said to my father that day. Have you given up? Don’t want to open a Shop and sell tofu pudding anymore?”

I quickly waved my hand and explained the situation.

She said, “Why not ask Second Son? Maybe your Elder Sister really doesn’t know. Uncle Pei was a businessman who worked hard all his life. He’d only pass down such a recipe to his son-after all, daughters marry out.”

I was taken aback, not having thought of that. I hesitated, “Second Uncle might not know either. He left home early…”

“How would you know if you don’t ask? Give it a try.”

Xiang seemed more invested in this than I was, urging me to write to Second Son. She would take the letter to the Post Station when she returned to the county town.

Under her eager gaze, I had no choice but to fetch paper and brush.

The gist of the letter was-

I want to make a living in the county town. Following Aunt’s instructions, the tofu pudding I make doesn’t taste right. Second Uncle, do you know the exact method? Could you give me some guidance?

I also enclosed my own recipe for tofu pudding.

Xiang frowned as she read it, saying my handwriting was ugly, and the content too blunt-there was no warmth between relatives.

So she had me add at the end-

The Borderland is bitterly cold. Second Uncle, please take care of yourself. Wishing you a safe return home.

After I finished, she took the letter away.

I didn’t understand why she was so passionate about this until, as she was leaving, she said, “Xue Yu, we’re the same age, and both lost our mothers early. Plus, I’m lame.”

I didn’t get it, so she continued, “My father is always trying to find me a good match, but I know-what good family would want me? What decent young man would marry a lame girl? But my father refuses to believe it. He says he’s saved up a hundred taels for my dowry. Even if my husband’s family is poor, it’s fine as long as he treats me well.

“He’s so naive, even at his age. If a poor family’s son is willing to marry a lame girl, isn’t it just for the hundred taels of dowry?

“Xue Yu, if you want to sell tofu pudding, I can use my dowry to help you open a Shop. Don’t refuse me yet-I have no other motive and ask for little. I’m not greedy. I just want a way out. I don’t want to marry a man who calls me a dead cripple behind my back.”