Chapter 4

First, it was Qiuqiu’s first day of preschool, and the teacher was teaching them to count.

After just three repetitions, Qiuqiu could count from one to one hundred.

The substitute teacher was from the village and praised my mom: “Your Qiuqiu is much smarter than Xiaxia.”

Second, our Eighth Uncle from the clan was diagnosed with stomach cancer.

At that time, there was no medical insurance. For people in the countryside, getting cancer was basically a death sentence.

But unexpectedly, Eighth Uncle’s daughter, who had attended Secondary Vocational School and worked in the city, actually took him to the hospital.

After having most of his stomach removed, Eighth Uncle survived and even chatted with the villagers about his interesting experiences being hospitalized in the city.

That day, after coming back from Eighth Uncle’s house, Mom grabbed Dad, who was about to go out to play cards:

“Jianjun, Qiuqiu is so smart. If we nurture her well, she won’t be any worse than a son!”

With this conviction, my parents were reinvigorated.

Originally, they treated me and Qiuqiu the same.

From that day on, Qiuqiu received more favoritism.

If there was only one chicken drumstick, it would definitely be hers.

If she didn’t want to eat breakfast at home, Mom would give her fifty cents to buy corn cakes.

I would only get this kind of treatment if I was sick.

Every New Year, Qiuqiu would always have a brand-new outfit.

As for me, I wore old clothes that my two aunts had rummaged up and sent over.

During the busy autumn harvest, Qiuqiu didn’t have to go to the fields.

Mom would say, “These hands of yours are for writing, you don’t need to do this kind of work.”

“Qiuqiu, you must study hard and bring honor to our family.”

Qiuqiu really was smart, always first in her class, winning certificates every semester.

Back then, those certificates meant a lot more than they do now.

I have to admit, when it comes to studying, talent plays a big part.

I had to work several times harder than Qiuqiu.

I went to bed at eleven every night and got up at five.

On the way to school by bike, I would memorize ten English words.

On weekends, I went up the mountain to cut bamboo, pick mushrooms, pluck tea leaves, and collect tea seeds. I saved the money I earned to buy extra practice books.

At that time, the school had a row of dry toilets. Once, I squatted in the toilet with a math test paper, and by the time I solved the problem, my legs had gone numb and I almost stepped into a pile of manure.

I always believed that a slow bird must start flying early, but the results were not obvious.

Though I didn’t want to admit it, I was just an ordinary person in the crowd.

A background character in a TV drama, a passerby in a novel, the “what’s-her-name” at class reunions.

Mom always nagged in my ear: “Xiaxia, you’re the older sister, you must protect and support your little sister.”

You don’t need to keep reminding me, Mom.

From the moment Qiuqiu was born, I’ve been protecting her.

A few years passed quickly, and I took the high school entrance exam.

Before the results came out, Xiangxiang from the village invited me to go work in Guangdong.

Her face was full of longing: “You can earn eight hundred a month in the factory!”

“I can buy pretty dresses, and I want to perm my hair.”

In the scorching summer, Aunt sat under the big maple tree fanning herself and said to Mom, “Xiaxia can go earn money for Qiuqiu’s school fees now. You and your husband will have it much easier.”

Mom smiled, “Yes, now it all depends on Qiuqiu.”

I kept putting it off, and finally, the day for the results came.

The summer was blazing hot, but my hands and feet were as cold as ice.

Even though I had given it my all, I was still nine points short of the cutoff for No. 1 High School.

Just nine points short…

If I had worked a little harder, if I had done a few more practice papers, if I had checked every test more carefully…

Would my life have been different?

The admission letter from No. 2 High School arrived at our house.

That night, under the dim light, Mom looked at the letter and sighed, “Xiaxia, not many students from No. 2 High School get into college every year.”

“Qiuqiu is in fifth grade this year. Your dad and I want to send her to junior high in the county next year, but that’s a big expense…”

“If both of you go to school, your dad and I… sigh…”

The fluorescent lamp flickered, making a “crackling” sound, like a saw cutting into my heart over and over.

My parents looked at me in silence, waiting for me to say, “Forget it, I won’t go to school anymore.”