Chapter 20

For a moment, I thought: I should have turned off my phone.

There was only one last exam left.

I had done well so far.

If I hadn’t answered that call, if I had finished the exam smoothly, maybe my life would have taken a completely different path.

But there are no ifs in life.

Zhou Xiang hurried to the hospital with me.

My father had a stroke after drinking.

He survived, but his speech was slurred, and he couldn’t walk as steadily as before, let alone earn money.

He lay in bed, not daring to look me in the eye.

“Xia… Xia, it was just that the floor was too slippery.”

My mother stammered, “Your sister is in her final year of high school, don’t let her know, or she’ll get distracted.”

“Xiaxia, your dad can’t earn money anymore. You shouldn’t go to graduate school. If you go, what will happen to our family?”

“What about Qiuqiu?”

I kept telling myself to stay calm, but I couldn’t control it. I broke down and shouted:

“I told you I had exams these two days, so why did you still go drinking?”

“Why do you never see me?”

“Why am I always the one who has to be sacrificed?”

“Just once, can’t you think about me? Can’t you value me, even a little? Do you know I’ve been preparing for over a year?”

“Do you know how many nights I’ve stayed up? How many practice tests I’ve done, how much I’ve suffered?”

“I’m not asking you to support me, at least, at least…”

At least don’t keep holding me back.

At least don’t keep telling me, over and over: you will always be the one abandoned.

My parents hung their heads low.

I saw the patches of white hair on their heads.

A deep sense of sorrow surged up inside me.

Maybe this is just my fate.

I ran all the way out of the hospital.

Zhou Xiang chased after me and found me under a bare tree.

He gently hugged me, patting my back. “It’s okay, you still have me.”

“To me, you will always be the most important.”

I turned and hugged him, sobbing uncontrollably.

That winter, under that withered tree,

it felt like I cried out all the grievances I had suffered over the past twenty-something years.

Zhou Xiang held me and softly said, “I’m sorry, I never knew before. Xiaxia, you’ve gone through so much hardship to become so independent and strong.”

I had never told him much about my past.

What is there to praise about suffering?

If I could choose, I would want to be a pampered little princess too.

When I returned to the ward again, my mother said, “Why don’t you take the exam again next year? I can wash dishes, I can earn two thousand yuan a month.”

My sister still found out about it.

She told me, “Sis, when I get into college, I can get scholarships and do part-time jobs.”

“You focus on your exams. I’ll cover your living expenses.”