chapter 3

The thirteenth year of Jingshou, August.

The political strife in the court was endless. Due to the gains and losses in state affairs, the Grand Councilor Cai Zhang was dismissed and punished by Emperor Jing.

The usually compliant Crown Prince seemed to have a change of heart and publicly rebuked Emperor Jing: “Prime Minister Cai is valued for his candor, yet Father Emperor dismisses him for speaking honestly. What will the world say?”

Emperor Jing was furious and said, “Let the world judge me, and let the good name remain with the Crown Prince and Cai Zhang. How about that?”

The Crown Prince knelt, drenched in cold sweat.

Soon after, the Crown Prince was confined to the Eastern Palace.

I was grinding ink for the Crown Prince Grandson in the Study Room when he let out a cold laugh and said to his uncle Chen Yan from the Pingxi General’s Mansion, “Grandfather abhors princes forming factions for personal gain, yet he is still the Crown Prince. He had no private dealings with Cai Zhang, but now he dares to touch Grandfather’s reverse scale, clearly instigated by someone. Foolish as a deer or pig.”

The Crown Prince Grandson and his uncle were discussing matters. After finishing grinding the ink, I felt bored and squatted under the table to pick up crumbs of pastries from the floor.

Once I had cleaned up, I rested my chin in my hands for a while, still bored. Finally, I reached out and tugged at the Crown Prince Grandson’s sleeve.

Then, a hand landed on my head and gently rubbed it.

I looked up and saw the Crown Prince Grandson gazing down at me, his dark eyes glimmering faintly: “Go out and play.”

His voice was soft and gentle. Instantly energized, I scrambled up from the floor and ran out under Uncle Chen Yan’s astonished gaze.

I headed straight for the Cold Palace.

I chatted for a while with Granny Guihua and the others, and helped a few especially elderly grannies wash and comb their hair.

When I left, I carried a battered basket on my back.

The grannies asked where I was going. I pointed west along the corridor-

“Taiye Pond, to pick lotus pods.”

One granny said, “Don’t wander off. This place is a mess. After last year’s Moon Worship Festival, that old eunuch Liu Chun disappeared. No one knows if he drowned in the lake.”

I waved my hand, “Granny, don’t scare me. I go to Taiye Pond to pick lotus pods every year, you forget. Besides, I can swim-I won’t drown.”

Taiye West Pond in the imperial gardens lay west of the Six Offices, toward Wansheng Garden. The lake was vast, with willows trailing along the shore.

When the lotus leaves were fragrant, all I could think about was picking more lotus pods for Aunt Yuchun and the others to eat.

In previous years, besides eating them raw, Aunt Yuchun would use the lotus pods to make soup. She said the pod meat was tender, and simmered with rock sugar, it was refreshing and calming-perfect for the Crown Prince Grandson.

As soon as she said it was good for the Crown Prince Grandson, I was instantly motivated.

I didn’t expect to run into Granny Qin from Consort Zhang’s palace halfway there.

Granny Qin was always kind. Though she served Consort Zhang, she never put on airs.

I always had a great impression of her.

But this time, her words and manner were rather odd. First, she asked if I was doing well in Chonghua Palace, then if I wanted to go to Consort Zhang’s Zhaochun Palace.

Finally, she said, “I heard that not long ago, an old woman surnamed Jiang died in the corridor from dysentery, unable to get treatment. The grannies are all getting old. They worked hard to raise you. Do you want them to live better?”

I nodded honestly, “I do.”

Granny Qin was satisfied and was about to speak when I added, “But they’re doing very well. I often bring them food. The Crown Prince Grandson is a great benefactor and treats Ah Wen especially well. Granny Guihua said Granny Jiang didn’t die of dysentery, she was just old. Everyone has that day. She also said Granny Jiang was blessed, she died peacefully. Only good people die peacefully. People shouldn’t do bad things, because bad people get struck by lightning.”

Granny Qin’s expression changed, but I didn’t notice and continued, “The Crown Prince Grandson is a good person, so he’ll live a long life. Ah Wen is a good person too, and will live to ninety-nine.”

……

After saying goodbye to Granny Qin, I hummed a tune and went to Taiye Pond to pick lotus pods.

I never expected that as soon as I entered the water, a strange sound came from behind.

Puzzled, I turned around-only to be struck in the head by a hard stone.

Blood ran hot down my forehead into my eyes, blurring my vision. I vaguely saw an unfamiliar eunuch, who raised the stone to strike me again…

Before the second blow landed, I had already fainted into the pond behind me.

By then, dusk was falling, and the lakeside was deserted. The eunuch entered the water, pressed my head under several times, then pushed me deeper among the lotus leaves.

After finishing, he hurried away.

Several hours later, deep in the night, all was silent. The lucky fool shivered and crawled out from the other side of the lake.

Looking around, it was too dark and cold. The distant shadows of trees loomed like ghosts.

Terrified, I shrank back into the water.

I don’t know how long I soaked there. My head grew heavier and more painful, my body colder, and my consciousness began to blur.

I must be dying. Granny once said that when people are dying, they return to the place they most want to be.

I saw myself as a child, riding on my father’s shoulders, holding a stick of candied hawthorn.

The temple fair was bustling, people jostling everywhere, and the parade was passing by.

On the sedan chair sat boys and girls dressed as the child attendants and dragon maidens from the statues of Bodhisattvas.

I stared in fascination, and my mother laughed beside me: “Our Wen Sheng is pretty too. Next year at the temple fair, I’ll ask them to let Wen Sheng play the dragon maiden.”

The following year, I really did sit high on the sedan chair, hearing people say that the little girl up there was the magistrate’s daughter. Though she was a fool, she was as delicate and lovely as a carved jade doll.
All the way, there was the beating of drums and gongs.

Halfway along, I suddenly saw the Crown Prince Grandson.

He stood among the crowd, dressed in a vermilion brocade robe adorned with qilin, tall and handsome, his bearing utterly unique.

Suddenly, everything around me grew extremely blurred, all else vanished, and between heaven and earth, only that somber-browed youth remained, standing firm and indifferent.

Those dark eyes gazed at me quietly, his thin lips pressed together, and with a sharp, commanding tone, he called-

“Ah Wen!”

With just that one call, I jolted awake, still in the water, chilled to the bone, yet surrounded by dazzling firelight.

A large number of Imperial Guard soldiers held torches, encircling Taiye Pond layer upon layer, bright as daylight.

The Crown Prince Grandson was right in front of me, his brows and eyes as stern as before, his face cold and pale.

Then he scooped me out of the water in one swift motion, held me in his arms, and returned to Chonghua Palace.

After that, I felt my mind grew even less clear.

Because the Crown Prince Grandson began to say many things I could not understand.

He wrote on paper-

“Know the white, keep to the black, and be a model for the world.”

That same month, Princess Shuoyang the Grand Princess and Lin Ruowei, daughter of Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices Lin, together with Prince Jin, born of Consort Zhang, were soon to be wed.

The Crown Prince Grandson wrote again-

“Great love must bring great loss; much hoarding must bring great ruin.”

Not long after, Lin Ruowei and Prince Jin’s marriage met with trouble, as rumors spread that Lin Ruowei was involved with a servant in her household and was already secretly pregnant.

Princess Shuoyang the Grand Princess was furious, declaring she would have the rumor-monger executed by waist-chopping.

Consort Zhang in the palace could not sit still and ordered Granny Qin to bring a Female Physician to verify the truth.

Princess Shuoyang was enraged to the extreme, but endured in silence.

The Female Physician examined Lin Ruowei and confirmed that she was not pregnant, but also revealed that the young lady was no longer a virgin.

Princess Shuoyang slapped her, and the next day Lin Ruowei hanged herself.

With her death, the rift between the Princess and Consort Zhang was set, and they became bitter enemies.

In Chonghua Palace, the Crown Prince Grandson held my hand, his brush moving like flowing clouds as he wrote on paper-

“The filthiest caterpillar transforms into a cicada and drinks dew in the autumn wind;
Rotten grass, though unlit, becomes a firefly and shines in the summer night;
Thus, purity always arises from filth, and brightness is born from darkness.”

After finishing, he did not even lift his head, and said to Ling Shao, “Silence Feng Shaoxiao. Tell him I will treat his family well.”

Ling Shao was about to take his leave when the Crown Prince Grandson’s voice sounded again, calm and cold: “After he dies, kill his wife, children, and widowed mother as well.”

I glanced sideways at the Crown Prince Grandson. The candlelight in the hall flickered gently, casting sharp shadows on his well-defined face, outlining a jawline as keen as a blade, exuding chilling coldness.

Unconsciously, I tried to withdraw my hand. “Crown Prince Grandson, are you doing something bad?”

My voice trembled with fear, and my gaze at him was anxious.

Unexpectedly, he gripped my retreating hand, lowered his head to look at me, his eyes indifferent: “Ah Wen is afraid of me?”

“Afraid.”

“Let me tell you what is truly bad. When I was five, my wet nurse was threatened with her family’s lives and poisoned me-that is bad. The maid my mother left me, who had served me closely since childhood, was later bribed and led me to the Cold Palace corridor during a palace banquet-that is bad. Princess Shuoyang the Grand Princess, my Aunt, with five thousand households in her fief, still schemes to stir up trouble and ally with Prince Jin-that is bad. Do you know why I didn’t eat her bowl of Apricot Paste?

“At the Shangsi Festival banquet, I ate the Deer Blood Paste she handed me, was led by a palace maid to the Cold Palace corridor, and the Mastiff, drawn by the scent, chased after me.

“Ah Wen, those who know contentment are not disgraced, those who know when to stop are never in danger. But they do not understand this principle. Since that is so, why should I be courteous to them?”

The Crown Prince Grandson smiled gently, but in those deep eyes, the icy gaze held a chilling menace.

He continued, “Great love must bring great loss; much hoarding must bring great ruin. I never trust anyone, nor do I cherish anything. So they die, they cry, but I do not, and never will. Those who ascend to high positions are doomed to eternal loneliness. I have long been prepared for this.”

“But, but Your Highness the Crown Prince Grandson is very pitiful,” I said, eyes red, stammering.

The Crown Prince Grandson frowned slightly, his expression softening a bit: “How could I be pitiful? The one to be pitied is Ah Wen, who nearly lost her life.”

His hand rested on my head, and the scar hidden in my hair still ached faintly.

I grabbed his hand: “Ah Wen is not pitiful. Ah Wen likes Granny Guihua, also likes Aunt Yuchun, and likes the Crown Prince Grandson. I have people I like, and people who like me, so I am not pitiful.”

After thinking for a moment, I added, “Your Highness the Crown Prince Grandson has nothing to cherish, and no one to trust, but that’s alright. From now on, Ah Wen will like the Crown Prince Grandson even more, and trust the Crown Prince Grandson. That way, you’ll be much better, and shouldn’t be too pitiful.”

The words of a fool made the Crown Prince Grandson’s lips curl slightly. He touched my ear and chuckled softly: “Alright, then Ah Wen must remember what you said. When you sneak snacks, don’t forget to leave a piece for me too.”