Chapter 1

Received a photo from a friend while at work.

In a renowned jewelry store, John was accompanying a young, beautiful girl to pick out rings.

The friend said nothing.

I could roughly understand her thoughts.

Suspecting John of cheating, yet worried it was just a misunderstanding.

I replied with a period, indicating I got the message.

At six o’clock sharp, John came as usual to pick me up from work.

We had dinner together, went home together, and slept together.

Then, in the dead of night, John would get dressed and leave.

I lay in bed, listening to the sound of the door closing, before sitting up and lighting a cigarette.

This was the tenth year of being with John, but I couldn’t remember how many times he had cheated.

When I first got together with John, I actually anticipated he might cheat. After all, I knew from the start he was a playboy and had prepared myself for not having a long-term relationship with him.

Yet we broke up and reconciled, entangled until now.

Honestly, this relationship isn’t impossible to continue.

At this age, friends have their own families, and the little energy left after work is divided between husbands and children.

No longer can we embark on spontaneous trips like when we were young.

I occasionally feel lonely, so I need someone who can have meals with me, chat about meaningless things, and fulfill physical needs.

And with John, we truly know each other well.

We’ve known each other for so many years; I can be completely unguarded in front of him.

If I were to let him go, any man I find afterward might be younger, more handsome, more outstanding than him.

But it’s unlikely I’d ever feel as comfortable as I do with him.

I exhaled a long puff of smoke and finally extinguished the cigarette.

I’m not sure what kind of feelings I have for John now; I only know that at some point, I stopped caring about his flirting, cheating, and indifference.

John is a charming scoundrel; I just need to enjoy the emotional value he brings me, and as for the rest, it doesn’t matter.

Life is short; it seems we should enjoy it while we can.

Only occasionally, in moments like this late at night, I briefly detach from clarity and think of my younger self.

I seem to have obtained everything I once wanted.

A stable job, a decent salary, a respectable lifestyle.

Yet it feels far from what I once imagined.