Chapter 4

Seeing the chat room conversation-the blatant mockery, the filthy vocabulary, the utterly vicious personal attacks-I trembled with rage.

Suddenly, my stomach churned violently, and bile rushed up my throat.

I clamped my hand over my mouth and stumbled onto the balcony.

Gripping the cold railing, I dry-heaved several times.

Tears and snot streamed messily down my face.

How could this be?

The Chen Chengjun who once ran through a downpour for several blocks just to save taxi fare, drenched to the bone but protecting the bowl of hot wonton noodles in his arms?

The Chen Chengjun who bought me a necklace with his first paycheck, while he himself ate steamed buns for a month?

The Chen Chengjun who woke up at five in the morning to stand in line for two hours just because I casually mentioned I wanted the famous pan-fried buns from the east side of town?

The Chen Chengjun who cried even harder than I did at our wedding, saying, “Marrying you is the greatest blessing of my life”?

…

That severe cold three years ago.

I was delirious with fever.

He stayed up all night, wiping my forehead, neck, and palms with a warm towel every so often.

In the early hours, I was terribly thirsty and let out a hoarse moan.

He jolted awake from his light sleep and scrambled out of bed to get water from the kitchen.

The water was too hot, so he poured it back and forth between two cups over and over.

He blew on it to cool it, took a sip himself to test the temperature, then carefully brought it to my lips.

“Slowly, drink slowly…” His eyes were filled with nothing but anxious concern.

That time my career hit rock bottom.

My boss was giving me a hard time, my proposals were rejected again and again, and I would come home late at night, collapsing exhausted on the entryway rug.

He always heard me and would silently walk over.

He wouldn’t ask why. He would just quietly crouch down and open his arms.

I would bury my head in his embrace, like a lost ship finally finding a safe harbor.

He would just hold me gently.

That embrace seemed to possess a quiet strength, allowing me to withstand any storm.

Even when my physical exam revealed my blocked fallopian tubes and my inability to conceive naturally.

He held me tight and said, “What are you thinking? I’m worried a kid would steal your love for me away!”

I even felt a sense of guilt towards him because of this acceptance.

I felt I owed him a complete family and had to repay him with a thousand times more tenderness.

But who would have thought…

A person could have so many faces.

That behind the warmth lay such filth.

He didn’t just betray our vows.

He took everything we had been through, my sincere heart and trust, and crushed it all with ease!