Chapter 12: It's All the Duke of Zhou's Fault

Liu Chunhua braced one hand on her aching back and the other against the wall, struggling to her feet with little cries of pain.

Qiao Ran hurried over to support her. “What happened? Did you fall? Come on, I’ll help you back to your room to lie down.”

Chunhua slapped her hand away. “Listen to me, Qiao Ni. Deny it all you like, but I heard every word you said. You called me a bastard and yourself my auntie. Whose auntie do you think you are?”

Qiao Ran could barely keep from smiling. Fortunately it was a dark, windy night, so the old woman couldn’t see the grin spreading across her face.

“Mom, what are you talking about? Are you half asleep? I just came out of the outhouse and saw you here.”

No sooner had she spoken than the side room’s door creaked open.

Xia Xiaoqi rubbed her eyes, her voice sleepy and weak. “Mom, Sister, why are you chatting outside my door in the middle of the night? You woke me up.”

Those two could put stage performers to shame.

Chunhua pointed a trembling finger at Xiaoqi. “Were you the one who kicked me several times and said something about confessing and resisting?”

Xiaoqi touched Chunhua’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever. Why are you talking nonsense?”

“Let’s help Mom to her room first. Look how badly someone’s beaten her. Her eye is black and blue, just like a giant panda,” Qiao Ran said calmly.

Xiaoqi was nearly hurting herself trying not to laugh.

One on either side, they escorted—or rather, practically abducted—Chunhua back to her room. To comfort the old woman’s injured body and spirit, Xiaoqi even brought out the canned peaches she’d hidden away.

“What are you two up to? Canned peaches, walnut cookies, cake… Xiangnan’s whole monthly salary wouldn’t cover what you’ve spent, would it?” Chunhua demanded.

“Mom, you’ve been beaten like this and you’re still thinking about your son’s wages?” Qiao Ran couldn’t help rolling her eyes. “Miser.”

Xiaoqi poured the yellow peaches into a blue enamel bowl and offered it to her. “Mom, what happened? Who beat you?”

Chunhua’s lips trembled, but she said nothing.

She was beginning to doubt herself. Had she really heard wrong? Had it not been the two of them?

“Tell us,” Qiao Ran urged. “Someone beat you in your own home. We have to get to the bottom of it. We can’t let the attacker off.”

“How would I know who it was? I was standing outside the door when a bamboo basket came down over my head. Some bastard knocked me down and kicked me in the head several times.” The more Chunhua spoke, the more aggrieved she felt, until tears came to her eyes.

“But, Mom…” Xiaoqi wiped away her tears with an exasperated air. “Why were you standing outside my door in the middle of the night?”

That only made Chunhua angrier. She poked Xiaoqi on the tip of the nose. “How dare you ask? Have you been using your youth and good looks to cheat on my son?”

Xiaoqi was bewildered. “Where did that rumor come from?”

“Then tell me, who is the Duke of Zhou?”

Taken aback by the old woman’s manner, Xiaoqi failed to make the connection. She turned to Qiao Ran and asked blankly, “Who? Who’s the Duke of Zhou?”

“His surname was Ji, and his given name was Dan.”

“Ji Dan? Like the word for egg?”

“Sounds like you’re craving eggs.” Qiao Ran gave her silly friend an exasperated look. “You might not know his father, but you’ll definitely know his brother.”

“Who?”

“Ji Fa.”

Understanding dawned on Xiaoqi. “Oh! The hostage prince in that movie. He was pretty handsome.”

“Nezha was more handsome,” Qiao Ran said.

Xiaoqi covered her mouth. “He’s still a child, you old pervert.”

Qiao Ran kicked her. “Stay on topic.”

“Oh.” Xiaoqi obediently turned to Chunhua and explained with a straight face, “Mom, it’s the Duke of Zhou from the dream interpretation on the calendar. When we go to sleep, we say we’re going to see him.”

Chunhua looked unconvinced, so Qiao Ran added, “It’s true. If you don’t believe us, ask Hongli. She can read. Ask whether the calendar says ‘Duke of Zhou’s Dream Interpretation.’”

Back in her east room, Chunhua picked up a cigarette, put it in her mouth, and began to puff.

She’d gone to catch someone having an affair, hadn’t she? How had she ended up finding no lover and getting beaten instead? Worse, she didn’t even know who had hit her. Then her daughters-in-law had given her a lesson on the Duke of Zhou.

Yes. It was all his fault.

Who had mentioned the Duke of Zhou in the first place?

Chunhua looked at her youngest daughter, Lu Hongli, sleeping like a log. She kicked her twice to wake her and gave her a thorough scolding.

At dawn, a fine autumn rain began to fall, bringing a chill. Xiaoqi, still tucked under the quilt, sneezed.

She thought she heard knocking outside, but her head was hazy, her body cold and weary. She didn’t want to move at all.

Qiao Ran returned from her run, her coat soaked by the rain that had begun on the way.

As soon as she entered the courtyard, she saw Hongli pounding on the side room door.

“Go easy. You’ll break it.” Qiao Ran walked over. “Stop knocking. She won’t be up at this hour.”

“What time is it? Why isn’t she up yet?” Hongli was in a terrible mood after being kicked awake and scolded in the night. She shouted at her sister-in-law, “You two have some nerve now. You don’t cook and you don’t work for the team. Do you think our family exists to wait on you like honored ancestors?”

“What are you yelling for? Has keeping us cost you a single cent?” Qiao Ran pushed her aside and knocked gently. “Princess, please wake up.”

There was no response.

She knocked twice more. “Get up, lazy pig.”

Still nothing.

A bad feeling rose in her chest. Qiao Ran stepped back twice, then kicked the wooden door with all her strength.

With a crash, half the door fell flat to the ground, raising a cloud of dust.

Hongli stared, stunned. A dozen seconds passed before she shouted, “Mom! Elder Sister-in-law is tearing the house apart!”

Chunhua rushed out of the kitchen with a ladle in her hand, just in time to see her eldest daughter-in-law Qiao Ni hurrying from the side room with the younger wife Xia Xiaofang on her back.

Xiaoqi lay against Qiao Ran’s shoulder, face deathly pale and eyes shut.

“Oh!” Chunhua jumped. “What’s wrong with the younger wife?”

“A clinic!” Qiao Ran shouted. “Where’s the clinic?”

“There’s no clinic in the village. Old Doctor Yang at the east end usually treats headaches and fevers.” Chunhua was worried too. She pushed Hongli forward. “Quick, take your sister-in-law to Doctor Yang’s. I’ll borrow a cart from the team.”

Doctor Yang was a village barefoot doctor. He had some skill, but couldn’t treat serious illnesses.

When Xiaoqi was brought in, he felt her pulse and examined her eyelids, yet still couldn’t say what was wrong.

In her anxiety, Qiao Ran seized his collar. “Do you fucking know how to treat her or not? If you can’t figure it out, say so. Don’t waste time.”

The original Qiao Ni had delicate features, but her frame was very large. With her gripping his collar, Doctor Yang felt like a little chick she might lift and throw at any moment.

“Don’t panic, don’t panic,” he urged, sweating. “My guess is that it may be acute appendicitis.”