Waterbound Love - Chapter 64

Du Bai did not know when An Qinqin had left, nor had she made any promises to her. Du Bai understood that promises were merely a form of disguised pity, and Shen Yan, being as proud as she was, would not tolerate such pity.

Heaven favored Shen Yan; she received Du Bai’s love, not her pity. Without love, even knowing everything Shen Yan had done would not incite love, but only a deep sense of pity.

In life, you’ll always meet someone like this. She spoils you, cares for you, protects you; all her principles mean nothing to you. She worries for you, rejoices for you;

In life, you’ll also meet someone like this. You spoil her, care for her, protect her; all your principles and disciplines are non-existent to her. You harm yourself for her, drown in safety for her.

If three people become two, filling this life.

In theory, it’s a fair happiness; in reality, it’s probably a doctor’s tragedy.

Love is never fair. One side gives and the other receives, the gentle flow extends forward. If they advance and retreat together, moving in opposite directions, even deep love will only lead them further apart. What started beautifully will eventually vanish.

Can we not criticize her for being foolish, just because she gives her all unreservedly;

Can we not scold her for being selfish, just because she rightfully accepts the good done for her.

This is the purest crystallization, giving without expecting a return, not repaying just because of sweetness received.

They simply love purely, enjoy purely.

No need to dwell on the past, no need to revisit old matters; indifferent to future prospects, unconcerned with gains or losses.

Simply living in the delicacies of the moment.

Like a flower blooming, surpassing all others in beauty. Even if in the night, even if only for a moment, it is said, this is a lifetime of splendor.

Like twin flowers falling, lightly letting go of attachments. Though parting must come, though they become strangers, it is said, that was a moment of brilliance.

Flowers bloom intoxicatingly, fully across the other shore. How beautiful, how enchanting, ultimately just an adornment, decorating the path of those in search of love. Maybe sinking, maybe delaying, but never staying. Love, is not here.

Du Bai approached the young man in the wheelchair under the tree, who was deep in thought, and covered “his” eyes with her hands.

Shen Yan stood there stunned, sensing the familiar scent between her nostrils. The icy touch of fingertips on her eyelids was so shocking that it almost brought her to tears.

She dared not speak, fearing that it was all just a dream; once awakened, there would only be fallen leaves all around, a scene of desolation.

She dared not speak, fearing that these were merely mirages born from her longing. Once clarity returned, all that would remain was the sorrow of shattered dreams.

Noticing Shen Yan’s unusual demeanor, Du Bai was about to remove her hands, but Shen Yan stopped her, “Don’t move. If this is a dream, let me stay happy a little longer, okay?” Her voice, hoarse yet incredibly clear.

Du Bai’s heart ached sharply, and a bitter smile formed at the corner of her mouth, quickly fading as she lowered her hands to hold Shen Yan’s, kneeling in front of her to look quietly into her eyes. Now, Shen Yan’s face was unusually pale, marked with a sickly thinness. Du Bai tenderly caressed her cheek, “Shen Yan, you look terrible. You need to marry me. Let me help support the weight you carry.”

“No, no,” Shen Yan pushed Du Bai’s hand away, feigning coldness, “I know you know, you don’t need to-”

“Let me finish, Shen Yan.” Du Bai held her cheeks again, “You might think this is pity, but I want you to be clear, I will only say this once, I love you, Shen Ai.” After speaking, she quietly watched Shen Yan, utterly absorbed.

Shen Yan listened, her brows tightly furrowed, her eyes flashing with pain, hope, and despair-so many emotions mingled together, making it hard to understand her turmoil. In a corner of her heart, something was slowly melting, allowing her to be selfish just this once, she promised, very briefly.

“You’ll regret it,” she murmured, in what was perhaps her final struggle. Shen Yan knew well, this plea was laden with such intense hope that it seemed utterly futile.

“Then you need to buy me a bigger ring now,” Du Bai said quietly, looking at Shen Yan.

Shen Yan watched her and quietly smiled. Even if it was a hopeful expectation tinged with pity, let her indulge just this once. Deceiving herself, the lie became her truth.

The marriage between the two was not just a union of hearts but also of two families, inevitably complicating matters. Du Xing had watched the relationship between Du Bai and Shen Yan develop; he couldn’t oppose it but, out of selfishness, he also couldn’t endorse it. Du Ruo was his dearest sister, and even though Shen Yan loved her deeply, the harsh realities meant their relationship couldn’t last forever. If he had no say in the matter, why should he interfere with others?

Wen Qiuyan, reminded of her own husband’s suicide after her daughter’s attempt, felt a muddled and indescribable pain in her heart. Perhaps exhausted, she muttered that being happy was what mattered, making her stance known.

The most challenging figure was Master Du, a military man who valued honor and robust health. How could he bear to marry his precious granddaughter to someone frail, always ready to be a widow?

Du Bai could only look to the heavens and lament how feudal thoughts were a personal disaster. She continued to try to educate Master Du on his outdated thinking.

“Grandfather,” Du Bai said, entering Master Du’s study with freshly made pastries from the kitchen.

“Ah, I’m so sleepy, I’m going to bed now.”

“Grandfather, you can’t go,” Du Bai hastily set down the pastries and grabbed her grandfather’s sleeve.

Master Du raised an eyebrow. “What is this, are you ordering your grandfather around?”

“Not at all, it’s a plea, just a plea,” Du Bai knew her expression must look incredibly flattering. What’s the harm? If it serves the purpose, showing a bit of extra flattery is fine.

“A plea? Even if you cling to my legs, I still have to go,” Master Du said, his eyes widening as he looked down at Du Bai.

“I’m clinging to your legs to plead with you, Grandfather.” Du Bai looked up innocently, her eyes brimming with tears, blinking away.

Master Du felt a vein throb in frustration. “Alright, let’s talk then.”

Once seated, Du Bai, leaving behind her playful demeanor, faced him with seriousness. “Grandfather, I know why you oppose this, and I know it’s because you care about me.” She paused, raising her left hand, “Did you know, just a few days ago, your no-good granddaughter tried to end her life?” She then pulled up her sleeve to reveal a still-gruesome wound.

Master Du inhaled sharply, “You-”

“Grandfather, you surely remember how my father died. I inherited his burden of sorrow. Even revived, my mind still hovers over death, that boundary of ease and freedom.”

Master Du sighed deeply, likely thinking of his son and now his granddaughter in similar straits. “Ultimately, I haven’t done enough.”

“Then I met Shen Yan. I had given up on life, but she so desperately clung to it. Knowing how much she cares for me, I doubt there’s anyone else who could love me as she does. After such a long search, I can finally stop. Without her, I’d find no meaning in living. What she offers, no family can replace.”

Master Du quietly observed the scars on Du Bai’s hand, resembling a centipede crawling over it, noting the deep, decisive cuts. Resigned to his age, he thought, grandchildren must have their own blessings, right?

“I’m so tired of this worry. I’ll ask that boy from the Shen Family to buy you a bracelet to cover that ugly scar.” With that, he actually walked out of the study.

Du Bai silently watched her grandfather’s retreating figure, thinking of the stubborn old man.

Grandfather, can you forgive some of my secrets? Your granddaughter truly loved, feared the complications, and couldn’t risk it anymore.