Waterbound Love - Chapter 57

“Later on, Master took in the dying me, and that’s when I met Qing-Ge, the man who is now captured by you.”

“You might think I finally had some good fortune, but no, Master earned his money from sympathy. My legs were frostbitten and crippled. I remember Master saying happily, ‘Well, at least I don’t have to break them.’ Those words destroyed the innocence of a child and made me grow up overnight. Master had seven children in total; besides Qing-Ge, who was his biological son, the rest were all taken in by him. Because of this connection, Qing-Ge was the only healthy one among us and the person other children wanted to please. When he was in a good mood, we got to eat.”

“I grew up in such an environment, begging was my job. My legs were crippled but not lost, and many thought I was a fraud. I remember once a thug, trying to impress a woman, beat me up in the street and then spat on me before leaving. I remember lying in a pool of my own blood, thinking perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to just die. But unfortunately, Qing-Ge carried me back. I remember on the way, a ragged, skinny young man carrying a blood-soaked girl home at sunset, each step shaky yet extraordinarily firm. So many people passed by, but no one came to help because we were filthy. I didn’t shed a single tear that whole way, only feeling that his embrace was so warm; he was the first person willing to hold me.”

“Master was indifferent to my life and death because the money I brought in was always the least. We were named after colors, and he disliked red the most as it was too festive, and nothing in his life was to be celebrated. And I was named Redd, so you could imagine how much he despised me. Later, I found out that Qing-Ge told Master that we were together, which is why Master saved me. The only task for me after being saved was to accompany Qing-Ge, even at night. This made Master hate me even more.”

“Master said he wouldn’t feed freeloaders, and by that, he meant me. Qing-Ge bore the burden of my meals and went out every day to work hard labor. Watching him grow thinner day by day, my heart was crushed tighter and tighter. When he’d come home, I’d see the bruises on his chest. All my pent-up emotions erupted, and I clung to him, crying out. He just patted my back, saying everything was alright, he’d endure.”

“Every day after that, I’d find new wounds on his body. The old bruises would fade while new, vicious ones appeared. I never asked what he did outside because this was all I could do for him. That half-month was torture, teaching me that my father’s initial decision was right. I was not only useless but also a burden. Then I realized I didn’t hate him at all. I went to Master and told him to do what he wanted. I knew he was always concocting a dye to turn people’s eyes into a clear red, like pomegranate seeds, to earn sympathy by claiming it was a natural anomaly. The only reason he hadn’t used us as experiments was for fear of us revolting completely, which would be too costly for him.”

“That night, I didn’t sleep, watching Qing-Ge; I imprinted everything about him in my mind, telling myself it was good to have a memory. The next day, after seeing Qing-Ge off, Master called me over. I didn’t even have a chance to glimpse the newborn sun before I fell into eternal darkness.”

“Who would give you anesthesia for that? I remember the pain being so intense, so overwhelming that I couldn’t even cry, couldn’t even scream. It was as if the most delicate part of your mouth was exposed to a flame, slowly burning away. The pain was so severe that I lost the will to even wish for death. I wondered if such pain would eventually kill me. He would be heartbroken if I died. But I survived.”

“With those fiery red eyes, I don’t know the expression Qing-Ge had when he saw me, but I could vaguely sense his anger. I don’t know how Master suppressed it, but I remember at night, Qing-Ge touched my face repeatedly, whispering apologies. He was so clumsy, gently touching, not realizing how sharp the calluses on his hands were. And I could only pretend to sleep.”

“Later, Qing-Ge took me to beg around, maybe because it was new, and each time we returned, we had a lot of money. Master’s mood improved, but Qing-Ge became increasingly cold towards him. Once uncommon sights became normal; gradually, we brought back less and less money. As Master saw me with Qing-Ge more often, he grew more and more sullen. I knew if things continued like this, I didn’t know what else I would lose.”

“What was bound to happen eventually happened. I forgot what triggered it, only that it was winter. Everyone went out to make a living, leaving only me and Master at home. He told me he wouldn’t let me be with Qing-Ge, and that I was nothing but a useless waste. He tore off my clothes, and I called out for Qing-Ge to save me. But no one came, only the cold wind howling-perhaps even roaring-past my ears.”

“When he violated me, it felt like my whole body was being torn apart, and my soul was shredded and drifting away. He visibly trembled, unable to speak out of surprise. I told him, ‘Yes, I’ve been sleeping next to your son for a year, and he never touched me.’

“He initially intended to humiliate me so I’d leave out of shame, making it hard for Qing-Ge to blame him. But he didn’t expect that Qing-Ge hadn’t touched me. The only way to amend things was for me to die. Master intended to push me into the ice hole by the river to drown me, but when he tried pushing me, he slipped and fell into it himself. At that moment, I realized how vicious I was. Listening to his cries for help, I softly hummed a song. I actually heard Qing-Ge calling for me and knew that if I wanted, I could save him by shouting. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to hear him die with my own ears.”

“People like us, who struggle to make a living, don’t have much attachment to family. Qing-Ge quickly accepted his death or perhaps felt more relieved than I did. That night, after burying Master, Qing-Ge and I truly lay together.”

“I don’t know if he understood everything, but at least Qing-Ge never asked me. He treated me with utmost care and kindness. I learned a song from a cassette tape, bought the tools for making a living with the money he saved up, and every day he accompanied me in making a living. For so many years, he’s remained the same. It must be hard for him.”

The coffee in the cup had long since cooled, no longer emitting a tender haze, as if to remind people of the stark reality, fleeting like a passing cloud. Redd narrated quietly as if telling someone else’s story, her voice devoid of any deception. If not for the liquid slowly dripping from her clenched hands, no one would believe that such a calm, serene woman carried so many chains of pain.

Du Bai listened silently, not interrupting, like an endless pool of blue spreading sorrow wherever it touched. Yet, those sorrows had long been floating in the air, evoking heartache.