Waterbound Love - Chapter 20
Du Bai truly set off in the afternoon. After packing her luggage, she arrived at the airport and chose the fastest departing domestic flight. She drifted aimlessly, wandering from city to city, living a new but somehow similar life in each place. Once she got tired of one place, she would leave, choosing the nearest train or flight, with no one to see her off and no attachments to hold her back. There was no one waiting for her with eager anticipation; she would simply leave as soon as she boarded. Upon arriving at the next destination, she would forget the previous one and start anew. By now, after so many turns and changes, she had lost count of the towns she had been to and the sights she had seen. Perhaps the items in her backpack were more aware of her journey than she was.
She remembered standing in that sunny plaza when she once told herself, “Du Bai, you must remember this: whenever you visit a place, you must bring something back for me. That way, I will feel like I’ve been there with you, sharing those experiences.” Smiling, she realized how terrifying habits could be; she had carried on this tradition without ever considering to break it.
Almost two months had passed since she left. It was time to go back. In this last stop, which wasn’t her final destination, this idyllic place by the mountains and water, Du Bai bought a time capsule. She emptied all the items from her backpack into the capsule and buried it deeply. Halfway through, she dug it back up and took out a stone. Du Bai didn’t make an effort to remember where she buried it, hoping that everything from her past would stay hidden, never to be unearthed. But the stone in her hand served as a channel for all her emotions, revealing her foolish dreams.
This stone was one she had picked up from the top of a mountain. Its rough texture attested to its ordinary nature. She picked it because, as she stood at the mountain’s peak, looking up at the sunlight beyond the floating clouds, she remembered what she once said:
“I will bring you warmth.
I will stand at the closest point to the sun to propose to you.
Because that’s the place closest to the sun, and I want my sunflower to be the warmest and happiest.”
As if driven by some unknown force, she had taken that stone, as though grasping a hope, a testament. When she opened her hand, her palm was streaked with blood, much like her heart.
Eventually, she returned to this land, where the warm wind blew away the stifling air. Thinking back now, her two-month escape seemed nothing more than a futile joke. When the dream ends, the beauty doesn’t last; reality arrives on schedule, sharing its harshness with you.
Shao and Tinna came to greet her at the airport. After tossing her luggage back home, they promptly rejected Du Bai’s request to adjust her jet lag, giving her only half an hour to freshen up and change clothes. Then, they rushed to Somn. It seemed like they were hosting a welcome-back party for her, but in reality, it was an all-hands farewell gathering marking the end of their vacation. Du Bai joked that it felt like a last supper, earning two eye rolls in return. Little did she know how prophetic her words would turn out to be.
She smiled and nodded at Lian Yinyun, who was sitting with Shen Yan, whose arm was wrapped around her waist. If her face weren’t so pale, the smile might have been flawless.
Du Bai sat in a corner, quietly observing, her face betraying no emotion. Once everyone had arrived, the revelry began. During gatherings, Du Bai was either very lively or very quiet; everyone was used to it. She noticed the girl next to her sitting quietly and watching her. Du Bai raised an eyebrow.
“Hello,” the girl said with a bright and gentle smile. She extended her hand, waiting for Du Bai to shake it. Du Bai gave a brief shake and then patted her hand. “That old-fashioned greeting isn’t popular anymore.”
“Then what is?” The girl’s eyes were filled with curiosity. Du Bai smiled; she was so pure. What Du Bai had intended to say remained unsaid. “A hug,” she replied, watching the girl’s cheeks redden just as she had expected.
From this scene of harmonious interaction, two pairs of eyes, one with resentment and one with gloom, bore into them from across the room.
Lian Yinyun sat next to Du Bai. “Du Bai,” she said. Seeing Du Bai merely lift the corner of her mouth in acknowledgment, Lian Yinyun clenched the edge of her shirt. Unsure of what to say, she finally offered, “I’ll select a song for you.” Without waiting for Du Bai’s response, she walked to the karaoke machine and promptly selected a familiar song. The well-known melody filled the air, causing Du Bai’s heart to tighten. What was Lian Yinyun intending to do? The song reached the part where she was supposed to sing, and Du Bai grabbed the microphone tightly, her gaze fixed on Lian Yinyun. Her eyes brimmed with complex emotions, so intense it was impossible to decipher them. Such pain, yet no tears would fall. Lian Yinyun grasped her shirt tighter and looked at Du Bai, her eyes full of pleading. Du Bai clenched the small stone in her pocket, feeling its damp, slightly painful reassurance.
You once said my heart was like a glass cup
Pure and transparent like water
Even if filled with heartbreak
It could easily be emptied, showing indifference
I clutch a glass cup tightly with my hands
Heartbroken and unable to respond
Even if I laugh it off with a smile
What would accompany my shattered heart?
A tiny glass cup
Can’t hold too many tears
A bit more love brings more fatigue
Pour some out to set myself free
That light, delicate glass cup
Always too easy to set free
That light, delicate glass cup
Always too easy to shatter
Once filled with tears, there’s no room for allure
Who has obliterated whom
Who can truly understand
Who can truly understand
Who can truly understand
The glass cup
The glass cup
The glass cup
From the moment the music began, Du Bai no longer looked at Lian Yinyun. She turned towards the girl holding the microphone, who shook her head slightly, deeply engrossed in the song. To Du Bai, she appeared so pure, so beautiful, as if surrounded by a golden glow, her aura entirely pristine.
When the song ended, the room was enveloped in silence. Uncertain of what to do, the girl looked around. It wasn’t that she had sung poorly-in fact, her clear, crisp voice was lovely. But everyone understood that this song held special significance for Du Bai, carrying unspoken pain, perhaps related to Lian Yinyun.
“Clap, clap, clap,” Du Bai was the first to applaud. Following her lead, the room erupted in applause.
Shao walked over and patted the girl’s head. “As expected from a music academy student, your singing was excellent,” she said, finishing with a playful wink.
Du Bai pulled Shao aside. “Hey, when did your taste change?”
Shao raised an eyebrow, glancing between Du Bai and Lian Yinyun. Her gaze shifted back and forth. “Hmm,” Shao nodded, “I sense some intrigue here.” Du Bai was about to retort but noticed Lian Yinyun clenching her shirt. She sighed silently. “Yinyun,” she began, almost using the familiar, affectionate name, but stopped, realizing she no longer had that right. “Just pick a song for me.” Unsure of how to address her, she decided not to at all. Lian Yinyun nodded mechanically, her eyes questioning, causing Du Bai’s heart to tighten again.
“Yunyun, play ‘Endless Green Fields,'” Shen Yan suggested, bringing another hush to the room. Du Bai closed her eyes in pain, unwilling to show any emotion.
Du Bai stiffly sang for a while, feeling Tinna tense beside her. She pressed Tinna’s hand, then passed the microphone, having long wanted to do so. She couldn’t bear the oppressive weight of the lyrics any longer.
“Separating doesn’t mean changing; who needs whom, like the clouds need the sky; only together do they create a beautiful picture.” Indeed, the image was so beautiful it stung Du Bai’s eyes.
“When I miss you, I close my eyes and you’re in my heart.” Whose longing and infatuation were these words speaking of? Surely, it wasn’t just about Du Bai.
“Don’t do this.” A voice, full of pleading, whispered in Tinna’s ear. “Don’t get upset, even for my sake.” With that, Du Bai discreetly pulled Tinna outside.
“What are you doing?” In the quiet hallway, Tinna shook off Du Bai’s grip. Seeing Du Bai’s silence, Tinna grew even angrier. “Why are you acting so weak? When did they start getting close? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice. Shen Yan came for you today.”
Leaning against the wall, Du Bai lit a cigarette. “So what if I did notice?”
“Then why stop me from taking them down?”
“Don’t talk about them like that.” The sudden chill in Du Bai’s voice silenced Tinna. Du Bai realized her slip and sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Tinna turned her head to the side, stubbornly widening her eyes to hold back tears.
“Do we really have the right to get angry just because my best friend is now with my ex? The scenario sounds so cliché, it wouldn’t even make the cut for a TV drama.” Shaking her head, Du Bai continued, “Don’t be foolish. Relationships are complex, and who can say for sure who someone’s new love used to belong to?”
Tinna snatched Du Bai’s cigarette and took a harsh drag. She knew Du Bai understood, and that her words were merely attempts at self-deception.
“From the beginning till now, I’ve never understood how you could love Lian Yinyun. I can’t believe you don’t see what kind of person she is.”
“Please, don’t be cruel and force me to deny myself,” Du Bai said, gradually calming down as she lit another cigarette. “Everyone has that one person they’re irrationally devoted to at some point. It’s not about looks or character; it’s that they simply have that hold over you. It starts, and you forget to stop.”
Tinna walked away quietly, recognizing that what Du Bai needed now was solitude. Giving her space seemed to be the best option.
Standing by the window, the gentle breeze reminded Du Bai of the winds atop a mountain peak-rugged and forceful yet full of vibrant life. But here, the soft, delicate wind carried a sense of suffocating decay.
Looking down, the hundred-meter drop was more than enough to annihilate a life.
What kind of hatred had swelled within her to give her the courage to disregard everything?
Wei Jia, I have to admit you succeeded. You have forever haunted the darkest recesses of my mind.
Your blood served as a curse upon me, that vivid red grotesquely burning my eyes.
The mouth that once spoke love now shattered my bravery to pursue happiness.
Because of the punishment I inflicted upon you, I lost an old friend.
But all these were merely feeble excuses. I placed all the blame and guilt on you only to ease the weight on my heart. Deep down, I knew-I’ve always known-that it was my fault. Back then, I was too superficial, lacking the respect for life.
