Waterbound Love - Chapter 14

Sitting under the moonlight, Du Bai leisurely sipped her beer. She admitted she was cowardly. After Wei Wen confessed to her at the hospital during the day, leaving with a “see you tomorrow,” she remained in shock, quickly packed up and went home as soon as she realized. She admitted running away like this was pathetic, but her leg was injured, not her brain-shouldn’t have changed her orientation, right? Du Bai was still considering whether to flee safely and return to her familiar haven.

“What’s bothering you?” Wen Qiuyan had heard that Du Bai was hospitalized again and rushed over, only to find an empty room. At home, she saw her daughter with a worried look.

“Mom, do you think feelings are really that important?”

“Mom has been studying psychology for so many years and hasn’t figured it out yet, so how could I possibly tell you in an instant?” Wen Qiuyan looked at Du Bai kindly.

“Could you like a man?” Wen Qiuyan noticed Du Bai’s resistance. “I’m not against you; my intention is just for you to be happy. When you lived independently with those girls, you only had a brief period of happiness, but spent a long time mourning its loss. Coming back here, I see you relaxed and happy. I think this simplicity might not be bad for you. Would you try it?”

The atmosphere was just too beautiful, the moonlight too tempting, and Du Bai couldn’t help but nod. Life would completely fall apart now.

Wei Qingqian had almost become Du Bai’s professional sidekick, sticking to her every time there were no classes, lazing around all day. However, they did manage to pull off a big event. They spent nights following Qin Yulong for half a month, and when they caught him alone, they ambushed him and beat him severely. When they struck, it seemed like they were competing with each other, showing no mercy. It’s likely he won’t be able to do anything but flirt with nurses for the next three months.

Occasionally, Wei Wen would invite Du Bai out for dinner. To be honest, Wei Wen was quite the romantic. Those elegant and dreamy settings would make most women swoon and pledge their hearts to him. But for Du Bai, shivers went down her spine, leaving her feeling frozen, inside and out. Have you ever seen fireworks under a moonlit sky? That, she could tolerate. But being whisked onto a plane at dawn, still half-asleep, and flown to Provence to watch the sunrise over a lavender field-touted as an experience of life’s true essence-that was too much for her. Du Bai was speechless. Her idea of a perfect day was sleeping in and enjoying a ready-made breakfast. Her drowsy eyes revealed little emotion as she fought off sleepiness, yawning in the cold wind Wei Wen had exposed her to. She swore never to spend time alone with him again; this man was officially declared the top monster in her book.

On the way back, she leaned against the car window, eyes half-closed, expressionless, watching the scenery retreat. She said nothing. Wei Wen thought she was entranced by the view and slowed down. This allowed Du Bai to clearly see a sunflower following the sun. Her heart felt a sudden void, watching as it gradually disappeared into a tiny black dot in the rearview mirror.

She suddenly felt empty, as if something had been drained from her, confused and unsure of herself. What else could she do? She stumbled back home, lost in thought.

Once back, Du Bai locked herself in her room. She admitted she missed someone dearly. The sense of ease she had felt before was just a facade, denying her true feelings. She desperately wanted to win her back from someone else. Yes, she could do it. This belief consumed her, leading to an emotional breakdown. She went online, searching frantically for any way to contact her. Reckless and wild, she knew this might be her only chance-for once, let there be a result, let her know she could return.

Wen Qiuyan, having heard from a servant that Du Bai was moody and not eating much, brought her a glass of milk. The scene she saw upon entering the room made her furrow her brows deeply.

Perhaps too engrossed in her task, Du Bai didn’t notice Wen Qiuyan entering the room. She remained nervously operating the computer. Wen Qiuyan walked over, placed the glass of milk on the desk, and glanced at the screen. Disappointment surged through her, leaving her feeling icy cold. Unable to resist the impulse, she yanked out the internet cable.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Du Bai’s voice conveyed despair as she looked at Wen Qiuyan with a mix of helplessness and bitterness.

“Du Bai, you’ve deeply disappointed me.” Wen Qiuyan hardened her heart and walked out of the room.

Du Bai had a moment of sudden clarity. She lit a cigarette, holding it delicately between her middle and ring fingers, took a deep drag, inhaling the smoke deeply into her lungs, seeking sensory stimulation. One cigarette after another, because, it seemed, there was no need to quit now.

Du Bai lived in a state of disarray, refusing to leave her room. She wanted to sever herself from the world.

The door was gently pushed open. Tinna frowned, fighting the urge to cough as the room was filled with a suffocating haze of smoke. She waved her hand, walked to the window, and pulled the curtains open. For a moment, Du Bai imagined the warmth of sunlight flooding in, even reaching out to feel it. After waiting for a while, she looked up and bitterly smiled-the sky outside was overcast, much like her current mood.

“The sky can’t always be clear; sometimes, there will be clouds,” Tinna said as she looked into Du Bai’s once vibrant but now lost eyes. She sighed, “But clouds are only temporary because eventually, the sky will return to its clear, sunny state. Just like you, you can be down, but don’t stay down for too long. You once told me, if you wear a mask for too long, you yourself cannot distinguish between the mask and reality.”

Du Bai looked up at Tinna, her expression full of confusion.

Tinna sighed, “Come back with me. I’ll take you to see her.”

That day, Tinna took Du Bai away. The calendar on the desk remained untouched, forever marking that day-Qi Xi Festival. Perhaps many days to follow would be like this one, filled with a melancholic aura.

From a distance, she saw her. Maybe she was doing well now. Du Bai didn’t approach her; instead, she sent a brief text message: “I visited the city where you live. How are you?”

Her peach blossom eyes captured the unease on Lian Yinyun’s face as she read the message, sending a wave of pain through Du Bai’s heart.

There were many things she hadn’t said, hadn’t told her. She remained in a corner where Lian Yinyun couldn’t see, silently enjoying her happy smile. She could still see her crescent-moon eyes when she smiled, but now that happiness was shared with someone else, causing her heartache. Du Bai wandered around Lian Yinyun’s school, imagining herself walking in her footsteps, eating what she ate, yet too afraid to step forward and hold her hand.

The journey there felt so long, each step filled with joy, each step bringing her closer to Lian Yinyun, a mix of joy and torment. But the way back was so short, each step taking her farther away. In the pain, she felt an increasing sense of detachment.

Perhaps there was some joy in it. Thank you. Thank you for not letting me see her happy with someone else. Knowing hurts, but seeing it with my own eyes is an indelible sorrow, a pain that cuts deeply and irreparably.

Leaving the city where you exist, she touched the once-blooming peach blossoms, now appearing barren and desolate. The peach blossoms, in their fiery brilliance, could only remain in her dreams.

Returning to continue her life on the edge, perhaps this emptiness in her heart was the only way, but she could still laugh loudly, couldn’t she?

This year, New Year’s and Valentine’s Day overlapped, which was quite interesting. Du Bai knew she would come back, holding onto a fleeting hope from time to time. But deep down, she always knew her hope was in vain.

“Du Bai, how are you going to spend this upcoming Valentine’s Day?” Tinna asked. Tinna’s future husband was hard at work building their happy life, leaving Tinna to kill time at somn.

Du Bai didn’t know either how or with whom she would spend the day. She thought of Wei Jia, her nominal ex-girlfriend. If Wei Jia were still alive, Du Bai wouldn’t have even considered celebrating. The dead are gone, sparing her the trouble. As for Shen Yan, Du Bai shook her head with a bitter smile, unsure of how to face her. Shen Yan was like a ticking time bomb, always ready to strike a fatal blow.

“The usual-you and me,” Du Bai replied, downing her drink of Forgetfulness in one gulp and twirling the multi-colored glass under the light. This drink seemed addicting.

After Valentine’s Day, Du Bai received a large bouquet of roses. Even now, just thinking about Tinna’s expression back then made Du Bai’s head hurt.

As if it was all planned, Wei Wen walked in next. Tinna, perceptive as ever, made a quick exit. As she brushed past Du Bai, she murmured in a voice just loud enough for Du Bai to hear, “He probably doesn’t know you prefer sunflowers. If he did, we’d have a year’s supply of free sunflower seeds at somn. What a pity, what a pity.”

Du Bai shrugged and casually walked behind the bar. Without looking up, she asked Wei Wen, “What would you like to drink?”

Some things needed to be made clear.

“Pour me a glass of your best cocktail,” he said, softly touching a scar on his forehead that time had nearly erased.

Du Bai glanced at Wei Wen and then silently started mixing the drink with practiced ease. Wei Wen watched, captivated by her clean yet elegant movements, his eyes filled with deep affection.

“Let’s start dating with marriage in mind,” he said.

Despite the pleasant atmosphere and her strong inner resolve, Du Bai nearly lost grip of the shaker, tempted to add another scar to his handsome face. A sense of annoyance rose within her. She disliked pointless entanglements; if there were no feelings, it was better to end things cleanly and move on. This was Du Bai’s principle in matters of the heart.

“Here, try this,” Du Bai said, pouring the drink into two glasses. She slid one across the bar to Wei Wen. He took a sip, still watching her, waiting for the answer he hoped to hear.

“This drink is a blend of two strong liquors. Interestingly, when mixed together, they become even more potent, yet remain as calm as water.” Du Bai smiled and took a sip herself. “It’s aptly named Forgetfulness. I used to drink this often during a breakup. I recommend it to you.” With that, she finished her drink in one gulp, then walked out of Somn, leaving Wei Wen sitting there, dazed.

No one saw the bitterness that flashed across Du Bai’s face after she turned away. No matter how much she drank of this cocktail, she never achieved forgetfulness. She hoped that one day someone would tell her how many more drinks it would take to finally forget. And after achieving forgetfulness, what kind of feeling would it bring?

When I get annoyed with people who desire me, I wonder how you felt when you said, ‘I know she still likes me, so let her like me. After all, I have nothing to lose, right?’ You never realized that your actions would be relayed to me by many. It wasn’t surveillance, but rather a caring that had naturally evolved into a habit that couldn’t be broken. I always knew everything about you-except I overestimated myself. Being infatuated comes much easier than acting.

I’ve tried so hard, but it’s beyond my reach.