Chapter 13

Heaven really loves to play jokes.

My brother missed the Third Tier cutoff by five points.

And I, missed the No. 1 Middle School cutoff by five points as well.

I brushed past No. 1 Middle School and was admitted to No. 2 Middle School instead.

When Mom came home at night and heard my results, she let out a long sigh of relief:

“Didn’t get in?

“Well, that’s fate.

“Once the double harvest is over, pack up and go to the factory with the villagers.

“Your dad and I are under a lot of pressure, and you can help out a bit.”

The summer heat was scorching, but my tightly clasped hands were cold:

“But I want to study.

“No. 2 Middle School is still okay. Every year, three or four dozen students get into university.

“Dad, Mom, please let me go to school, okay?”

Mom frowned:

“We agreed that if you got into No. 1 Middle School, we’d let you go.

“You didn’t make it, so you can’t go back on your word.

“Besides, your brother is going to a repeat school, and the tuition and living expenses are two or three times that of No. 1 Middle School. Your dad and I are already struggling to support him.”

…

I hurriedly said:

“But I really want to study, please let me go, okay?

“Mom, you know how hard I work. I promise I’ll do my best, I will definitely get into university.

“Anyway, my brother doesn’t even want to study. Sending him to repeat is just wasting money…”

“Shut up!” Mom was angry. “How can you compare yourself to your brother? He’s been smart since he was little. If he repeats, he’ll definitely get in.

“Don’t talk nonsense with your crow’s mouth.

“You didn’t get into No. 1 Middle School, so don’t blame your dad and me for not supporting you.”

It felt like a handful of glass shards had been pressed into my chest.

The pain was suffocating.

Holding back tears, I questioned:

“Dad, Mom, even if I had gotten into No. 1 Middle School, you still wouldn’t have supported me, would you?

“As long as my interests conflict with my brother’s, I’ll always be the one sacrificed, right?

“If you couldn’t treat us equally, why did you have me in the first place?”

…

Dad was hit where it hurt, and slapped me across the face.

He shouted angrily:

“Both of you think you’re so capable now, huh?

“If you’re so capable, figure out the tuition yourself.

“As long as you get the money, not just No. 2 Middle School, even No. 6 Middle School, I won’t stop you.”

Where could I get the money?

I went to borrow from my uncle and aunts.

They said, “Your parents already borrowed money from us recently for your brother to repeat.

“We don’t have any extra, and besides, you’ve never been as smart as your brother since you were little. What future can you have at No. 2 Middle School? Better not waste the money.”

I asked my homeroom teacher if there were any scholarships or kind-hearted people who could help.

He looked apologetic: “According to the rules, scholarships are for kids from poor families who get into No. 1 Middle School.

“Even if there are kind-hearted people willing to help, they always pick the students with good grades.”

He took out two hundred yuan and stuffed it into my hand: “Xiaoxia, my salary isn’t high and I have a family to support. I’m really sorry, this is all I can do…”

I went to the county town to see if anyone was hiring.

They thought I was too young. Finally, one place was willing to take me, but only for three hundred yuan a month with food and lodging, and I had to work for six months before they’d pay me.

I walked from morning till night.

I asked everyone I possibly could.

I borrowed from one end of the village to the other.

But they all said, “You’re just a girl, and you only got into No. 2 Middle School. Don’t bother studying.”

“Better start working early, help your brother out, and save up for your dowry.”

Only the Old Village Party Secretary pitied me.

But he advised me to think carefully, because high school is three years, and even if I scraped together the tuition this time, what about the money after that?

It started to rain.

The drops pelted my face like stones.

The creek water churned into a dirty yellow, with a red plastic bag in the middle.

It floated up and down with the current.

Several times it got caught on the branches by the creek, but every time a new wave came, it was pushed forward again.

Just like my fate.

So many times, I thought I’d grabbed a lifeline, thought I was in control of my destiny.

But just one wave could easily destroy everything I relied on.

No matter how hard I tried.

In the end, I was just like the other trash in the river.

Drifting with the current.

Resisting fate is hard enough as it is.

Maybe I should just give up.

Just be a lump of mud, a piece of trash no one notices.

I slowly squatted down, hugged my knees, and wailed.

I don’t know how long I cried, but then a voice sounded above me: “Don’t cry. Your tuition is taken care of.”