The Year He Hated Me Most - Chapter 1

I died in the year he hated me most.

Unable to bear his hatred any longer, I chose to end my life.

When the funeral home handed my ashes to Nan Heting, he patted the urn and flashed the only smile he’d worn all day.

“She’s filthy. She should’ve been ground to dust!”

He flipped his hand. The urn hit the floor with a clatter.

That was right. He believed I’d killed the woman he loved. He’d stayed by my side for years, waiting for this moment.

He walked away over my ashes. Not long afterward, he was crying and begging the funeral home to give me back.

After a year of Nan Heting’s torment, I was finally dead.

While he wasn’t looking, I slipped into the bathtub and cut my wrists.

The tub filled with blood, just like the day I miscarried after learning why he’d married me.

“Good riddance!”

Nan Heting clapped, his bright eyes reddening.

He laughed, and laughed, until tears slid down his cheeks.

I thought he must have remembered his beloved, who had died young.

Six years ago, she’d died in a car accident. Her heart had been transplanted into me.

Nan Heting had always believed the crash was no accident, and that I’d caused the death of the woman he loved.

So he’d deliberately approached me, then spent our marriage tormenting me without mercy.

He’d even planned to make my whole family pay.

He’d lain in wait for years, rising from a penniless boy to one of Bincheng’s elite.

Once he had the power to stand against the Yan family, he bared his claws.

Like a rabid dog, he went after every one of us.

Today, it was all over.

I’d died on the very night he was about to make his move.

When Nan Heting heard I was dead, he was frighteningly calm.

He simply told his assistant to take me to the funeral home at once.

By the time he saw me again, I was a handful of ashes in a little urn.

“Give me back my sister!”

The moment we stepped outside the funeral home, my ever-devoted older brother swung a fist at Nan Heting’s handsome face.

The guards pinned him down almost immediately. He collapsed onto the ground, shattered.

“Your sister’s right here.”

Nan Heting patted the urn, then planted a foot on my brother.

“She’s filthy. She should’ve been ground to dust.”

With a flick of his hand, he knocked over the palm-sized urn. Ashes scattered through the air.

I knew Nan Heting hated me.

I hadn’t known his hatred had become this twisted.

As my ashes drifted away, I still couldn’t stop myself from crying.

I had loved him with all my heart for two years. This was what I got in return.

Nan Heting lifted his expensive shoes off my brother and went on sneering.

“You love her so much? Then why not let the whole Yan family join her in the grave?”

Even after I died, he hadn’t given up on destroying the Yan family.

My brother sat slumped on the ground, tears and snot streaking his face.

“You’ll regret this. You will!”

“I’ll never regret it.”

Nan Heting walked out of the funeral home, treading over my ashes.

My brother shed every last shred of pride he had as the Yan family’s eldest son and wept until he could barely breathe.

I’m sorry.

I said it a hundred times in my heart.

My tears wouldn’t stop.

I felt my ashes drift away, scattered across the mountains and woods.

A little fell into a stray dog’s bowl and ended up in its belly.

Some landed in a stream, on the trees along the mountainside…

The last trace clung to Nan Heting’s lapel and the soles of his shoes, and went with him to the home we’d once shared.

Our marital home was a villa halfway up the mountain.

When we’d just married, I thought he’d chosen such a scenic, secluded place because my health was poor and he wanted me to recuperate.

Only when I gradually lost contact with the outside world did I realize that, too, had been part of his plan.

I was the Yan family’s cherished youngest daughter. He had to cut me off from everyone for his plan to work.

It made his revenge all the more satisfying.

I followed Nan Heting into the villa.

There were no servants. I’d taken care of everything myself.

He seemed to freeze for a moment as he changed his shoes, then scoffed and quickly put on a pair.

“Yan Mingmei, good thing you’re dead.”

I pursed my lips and followed him, angrily stepping on his shadow.

Nan Heting, you bastard.

I was dead, and you still hated me this much!

Nan Heting opened the fridge and poured himself a drink.

As he set the bottle down, he caught sight of a sticky note on the fridge door.

“Honey, I made your favorite cream puffs today. Don’t forget to eat them~”

It was dated December 28, the night before I died.

Nan Heting’s gaze dimmed. He crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash.

He didn’t even glance at my cream puffs.

I’d shaped them into hearts to make him happy.

They’d once been his favorite. Now he wouldn’t even look at them.

So even his liking the food I made had been one more way to deceive me.

For some reason, Nan Heting seemed downcast after seeing that note.

He lay on the sofa for ages, staring at the butterfly chandelier overhead.

If he could see supernatural things, he might have spotted me perched on one of its wings, watching him.

We’d bought it before our wedding. I’d loved it.

Miraculously, Nan Heting had loved it, too.

Back then, I’d been delighted that we’d finally found something we both liked. I had no idea the woman he loved was named Hu Die—Butterfly.

Once, after we were married, I’d gotten jealous and asked him about his first love.

He lay on the sofa with my head in the crook of his arm. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he said, “My first love turned into a butterfly and flew away.”

My heart clenched, and my urge to give him everything only grew.

I kissed his eyes and tried to comfort him again and again.

“Want me to be your butterfly?”

“My parents say I’m the happiest one in our family. I know I can make you happy!”

He said nothing. He only held me and trembled, pressing his ear to my chest to listen to my heartbeat.

His hands gripped me so tightly it hurt, but I never asked him to let go.

I mistook the hatred he kept bottled up for proof that I’d moved him.

Falling in love had robbed me of my ability to tell right from wrong.

I had only myself to blame for what he did to me later.

After about an hour, Nan Heting finally decided what to do next.

I had no intention of going with him, but somehow I could never stray more than a meter away.

I stood outside the bathroom, listening to the water run.

A minute later, bottles and jars clattered to the floor. A chill ran down my spine.

I flung open the door and saw Nan Heting, his eyes bloodshot.

Faced with the blood that stained the whole bathroom, at last his expression twisted.

My death had caught him completely off guard.

There was no one else in the villa. If Nan Heting’s assistant hadn’t come back for some documents, he might not have learned of my death so soon.

It had taken barely half a day from the moment I died to the moment I was cremated.

Everyone had forgotten that the place where I died hadn’t been cleaned.

So the bathroom Nan Heting saw now looked like a full-blown murder scene.

“Yan Mingmei!”

He roared at the empty air.

He nearly scared my soul right out of me all over again.

“Why are you shouting…?” I muttered from the side.

After my body had gone limp, I’d ended up in the bathtub.

It wasn’t even that dirty. Couldn’t he clean it himself?

But Nan Heting couldn’t hear me, and he had no intention of cleaning anything.

Trembling with rage, he pulled out his phone and called his assistant. He didn’t even notice when the bathroom door had opened.

“Find me another place. I’m moving out tomorrow!”

Then he hurled the phone against the floor. It shattered into pieces.

I’d never seen Nan Heting this volatile.

That was close.

I patted my nonexistent heartbeat and tried to calm down.

After Nan Heting left, I crouched and stirred the bloody water in the tub, as if I wanted to hurt myself all over again.

It was the second time I’d seen a scene like this.

The first time was when I accidentally discovered Nan Heting had married me only to get revenge.

I’d been in a daze and stumbled into the bathtub.

Blood had spread everywhere. The tiny life I’d only just learned existed was snuffed out like that.

The second time was when I killed myself.

I’d passed out early, leaving the blood to flow.

I never thought I’d live to see such a sight again.

“Nan Heting…”

I watched his retreating back.

“If you ever learn she didn’t die because of me, will you regret it?”

Nan Heting and I spent an unbearably long night in that house.

He woke early the next day, changed his clothes, and set off on foot for the mountain behind the villa.

I heard him tell his assistant over the phone to clear everything out of the place.

He didn’t want to see anything that belonged to me.

Still, I didn’t think Nan Heting would actually move out of the villa.

His first love—the one who’d turned into a butterfly and flown away—was buried on the hill behind our home.

“Xiaodie, she’s dead.”

Nan Heting crouched before the grave and gently brushed his fingers over the headstone.

A photograph was set into it. The sweet-faced young woman smiled brightly, full of life.

Sadly, her life had ended at twenty.

“I finally avenged you.”

He murmured to her, then sat there in a daze for a long time.

For some reason, Nan Heting seemed to drift off more easily now.

As if he’d been hollowed out, his soul gone.

Of course, I didn’t think it had anything to do with me.

I figured he simply felt empty after getting his revenge. He’d lived on his hatred of me for years. Now I was dead; it was only natural that he’d feel a little lost.

Nan Heting didn’t leave the hill until the sun was high.

When he got back, he didn’t go into the villa. He headed straight to the garage, got into a car, and drove off.

When I saw him pull up outside a dilapidated apartment building on the outskirts of town, I knew what he wanted.

Following his memories, he knocked on Hu Die’s family’s door.

No one answered.

Nan Heting tried several more times. When there was still no response, he grew impatient and pounded harder.

This time he roused a neighbor.

“What the—” The neighbor’s voice trailed off. He stared in disbelief at the man who’d once been a poor boy.

Nan Heting looked like a big-shot businessman now, so the neighbor swallowed the rest of his curse.

“Where’s the family who lives here?” Nan Heting asked coldly.

“Them?” The neighbor rolled his eyes in disgust. “They’re living it up on the money they got for trading away their daughter’s life.”

Nan Heting frowned, as though he couldn’t bear such blunt, vulgar words.

“Where did they go?”

“How should I know? Why’re you grilling me? Who are you?” The neighbor looked Nan Heting up and down, irritated.

“I’m… their daughter’s boyfriend.”

“Oh!” The neighbor’s eyes lit up with gossip. “You’re the boyfriend Old Hu had wrapped around his finger?”

“Poor little Hu Die was born into the wrong family. Her rotten parents sacrificed her in a deal they made.”

My heart lurched. I immediately looked at Nan Heting.

His eyes were bloodshot. After a long moment, he ground out, “A deal?”

On the drive back, Nan Heting went faster than ever. His expression was darker than I’d ever seen it.

I’d always been sure I hadn’t caused his first love’s death. But I had no idea what other secrets lay behind it.

Nan Heting sped all the way to my family’s gate.

The Yan family villa had fallen into disrepair. There wasn’t a single servant in sight as Nan Heting entered.

“Nan Heting, you dare show your face here!”

My brother grabbed him by the collar and punched him.

“Get out of my way!”

Nan Heting’s face was murderous. “I’m not here to fight you today. Tell me—where did Yan Mingmei get her heart?”

“Where did she get it?” My brother laughed wildly, with nothing left to lose. “From your old flame, of course.”

He swung at Nan Heting again.

The two men fought, eyes red with rage.

I stood by helplessly. I couldn’t stop them or pull them apart.

“Enough!”

At the familiar voice, tears sprang to my eyes.

My father had aged so much. His voice was rough and worn.

He took out the heart-transplant agreement from years ago and a donation contract I’d never seen before, then flung them in front of Nan Heting.

“Mingmei’s heart was donated through legal channels. Afterward, I gave the family a ten-million-yuan thank-you payment. All the paperwork is right here. What else do you want to ask?”

“That can’t be…”

Nan Heting’s hands trembled as he read through the documents. His face grew paler with every page.

I stood beside him, just as nervous, not knowing how to face this reversal.

Of course I was glad to be innocent.

But who could make up for the suffering I’d endured this past year?

“I don’t believe it… I don’t believe it.”

Nan Heting had lost his mind. He just kept repeating those words.

Then his phone rang at just the right moment.

“Mr. Nan…” His assistant sounded hesitant. “We… we found Madam’s prenatal checkup report.”

Only my doctor and I had known I was pregnant.

Back then, things between Nan Heting and me hadn’t fallen apart yet. I’d loved him so desperately.

I wanted to make it special, so I hadn’t told him right away.

I planned to surprise him on our first wedding anniversary.

But that day, I’d waited alone by the cake for what felt like forever. He never came home.

A storm raged outside, and his phone wouldn’t go through. My heart ached with worry as I clutched my phone and prayed he was safe.

He didn’t come back until midnight, wrapped in the smell of alcohol.

“Hu Die…”

He lay back on the sofa, murmuring her name as he stared at the butterfly on the ceiling.

Thinking he was confused, I went over to help him.

“Honey, let’s get you to bed.”

“You’re… not Hu Die…”

“Of course I’m not. I’m Yan Mingmei.”

I answered softly.

But my words seemed to strike a nerve. He shoved me hard. I stumbled and fell against the sofa.

“Honey…”

Nan Heting had never been this rough with me. I nearly burst into tears.

Half-sober, he gazed at me in a daze.

Then he slumped back down.

I swallowed my hurt and took off his coat.

As he kept murmuring “Hu Die,” a photograph slipped from the inside pocket.

That was the first time I saw his unforgotten love.

A sweet-looking girl with a bright, charming smile.

On the back were the promises they’d made as teenagers.

“Nan Heting and Hu Die will be happy together forever.”

I felt as if lightning had struck me.

Why did Nan Heting love butterflies?

Why did he think of her whenever he was drunk?

Only because the woman he loved was named Hu Die.

I didn’t tell anyone what had happened that night.

The next day, I hired a private investigator to dig into everything.

When I saw that Hu Die had died on the very same day as our wedding anniversary, I finally understood what it meant to feel frozen to the bone.

Her whole life was reduced to a few thin sheets of paper in my hands.

Her heart was beating inside my chest.

I couldn’t hold it in. I collapsed over the desk, sobbing until my heart broke.

At last, I understood why Nan Heting had married me.

In a daze, I fell into the bathtub. I didn’t even notice the blood pouring out of me.

By the time I called for help, my baby was already gone.

I dragged my sick body home, only to find Nan Heting sitting on the sofa, perfectly composed.

In his hand were the things I’d learned about the woman he loved.

From that night on, he dropped the act.

He cursed me viciously, shut me in the villa, and forbade anyone from speaking to me.

He took my phone. Whenever my father or brother called, I could answer only under his watch.

He said I had to atone, because I’d taken the life of the woman he loved.

I didn’t know that he’d already come to hate me so much he wanted me to die without a trace.

In the end, he got his wish.

But why? Why wasn’t he happy?

Now Nan Heting gripped the prenatal report, trembling with rage.

It said seven weeks. The fetus was no bigger than a bean sprout, barely visible on the dark ultrasound image.

That was my child. I’d felt its heartbeat.

But Nan Heting couldn’t have known…

Why did he look so heartbroken, tears the size of beans falling onto the paper and blurring the last image of our child?

“Go… find the Hu couple.”

Nan Heting gritted his teeth as he ordered his assistant.

Maybe he still couldn’t accept a truth that contradicted everything he’d believed. He had to dig up the past, no matter what it took.

I called it making himself suffer.

One wound was hard enough to mend. Now he wanted to hear the story all over again.

What good was clearing my name after I was dead?

I sat beside him and sighed.

If only he’d come to his senses sooner.

I would never have loved him. I never would have died.

But I knew there had never been any way for us to solve this riddle together.

There was no ending for us but mutual destruction.

The Hu couple hadn’t gone far.

They’d bought a villa in another city and were living like newly rich upstarts.

When Nan Heting showed up at their door, they were too frightened to breathe.

“I want an explanation about Hu Die’s heart donation two years ago,” Nan Heting said through gritted teeth.

The Hu couple’s faces darkened. They must have realized he’d learned something.

“She was just a girl… It was her honor to contribute to the family!”

Smash!

A chair slammed into Hu Die’s father.

Nan Heting went berserk, beating him as if he didn’t care whether he lived or died.

“She was your daughter! Your daughter!”

I watched coldly from the side.

Nan Heting had grown up poor himself, but he was a boy.

He had no idea that, to some people, a daughter was worth less than a few hundred thousand yuan.

Nan Heting smashed the Hu family’s home to pieces.

Only after he threatened and bribed them did they tell him the whole truth about what had happened years ago.

The Hu family had been poor. They had a daughter and a son, close in age and both old enough to need schooling.

One day, the couple happened to overhear doctors discussing my condition as they left the hospital.

They saw a chance and faked Hu Die’s car accident.

Through a broker, they “donated” her heart to me and collected ten million yuan from my father.

At last, the truth came out. Nan Heting dragged his exhausted body back to the villa halfway up the mountain.

This time, he could no longer keep his composure.

The villa had been almost completely emptied. Every trace of my life was gone.

He lay on the sofa, with only the butterfly chandelier left to stir his memories.

After he learned the truth, we’d had a time when we loved and fought in equal measure.

He’d grit his teeth at me, then comfort me whenever I was hurt.

Unable to make sense of him, I’d always been careful around him.

Twisted and hopeless, we’d kept pretending to be husband and wife.

Now I could feel myself slowly fading away.

Perhaps my attachment to this world had been the only thing keeping me here. Now my name was cleared, and I had nothing left to cling to. I shouldn’t exist anymore.

Tomorrow would be the seventh day after my death.

I hoped tonight would be the last night I spent by his side.

Nothing seemed to happen that final night.

Nan Heting went to shower as usual. I sat nearby, tending to the flowers I’d loved when I was alive.

“Mingmei.”

I suddenly heard him call my name.

My body stiffened. When he didn’t call a second time, I finally relaxed.

Nan Heting had forgotten to bring his clothes. Before, he’d only have to call once and I’d bring them to him.

Then I’d answer with a sweet little “Honey.”

Now, only the empty air answered him.

I didn’t open the door. I stood outside, feeling low.

I knew he’d called my name out of habit, like an addict in withdrawal.

When someone has been used to another person’s presence for a long time, losing them all at once leaves them restless.

The name that slipped from his lips was just a word.

He didn’t truly want to see me.

Once I’d convinced myself of that, I went back to fussing over my plants.

If Nan Heting came out and saw them trembling without a breeze, he might think the place was haunted.

That wouldn’t be so bad, I thought.

I could still scare him a little.

But an hour passed, and he still hadn’t come out.

Growing worried, I finally pushed open the door.

He lay with his eyes closed in the bathtub, as if asleep.

More like… dead.

I stood there, conflicted, trying to decide whether to watch him die or call the police. Then he opened his eyes.

“Who’s there?!”

He shouted toward the doorway.

Bathing in a house where someone had died, only to have the bathroom door suddenly open—it was straight out of a horror movie.

But Nan Heting didn’t seem afraid at all. He even called my name.

I stood awkwardly to one side, glad he couldn’t see me.

My eyes wandered, and I noticed he was clutching the hair tie I’d left in the bathroom when I was alive.

The mountain wind picked up outside. A sudden chill swept through the room.

Even I, without a body, felt a shiver run over my scalp.

Nan Heting seemed to come to his senses.

He fell silent, put on his robe, and went back to the bedroom.

As usual, Nan Heting would have a warm glass of milk before bed.

I’d always made it for him. He was already in bed, but the milk still hadn’t come at the usual time.

I watched as he irritably threw off the covers and went into the kitchen himself, clattering around.

Then he came back with a glass of yellowish milk.

Nan Heting was such an idiot. He couldn’t even heat milk without scorching it.

As soon as I said it, I felt sad.

The first time I’d warmed milk, I’d scorched it, too.

Nan Heting hadn’t minded at all. He drank the whole pot.

“It tastes like caramel,” he’d said.

I’d beamed and shared a caramel-flavored kiss with him.

I’d decided we’d be happy together forever.

The past was too painful to revisit.

I left the room in silence.

Not long afterward, I heard a crash and rushed back.

In the few minutes I’d been gone, Nan Heting had thrown a fit for some reason.

He’d smashed the glass of milk on the floor.

The cashmere rug was soaked, and the glass had rolled beneath the bed.

“What a temper.”

That was my verdict.

After a while, Nan Heting’s chest finally stopped heaving.

Deigning to lower himself, he crouched down and felt around beneath the bed for the glass.

His long fingers searched, but he didn’t find it. Instead, he felt a rectangular box.

My heart shot into my throat.

No!

I tried to tug at his hand.

It made no difference.

Don’t look!

Let my secret stay a secret forever!

I shouted, but he couldn’t hear me.

The moment he pulled out the battered box, I knew I was done for.

Nan Heting frowned and opened it.

The first thing he took out was a tiny shirt, only half-finished.

We didn’t have a kitten or a puppy at home. It had to be for the child I’d never given birth to.

I’d only just learned I was pregnant. Overjoyed, I’d bought yarn and followed an online tutorial to knit a sweater.

It was crooked and lumpy, but I’d had fun knitting a little blue butterfly on it.

I thought Nan Heting would love it, too.

I never imagined my dream would shatter in less than a month.

Nan Heting already knew I’d been pregnant, and he didn’t react much.

He just gripped the tiny shirt.

Back when we were still pretending things were fine, he’d told me he looked forward to the child we’d have together.

I wondered how he felt now, seeing this.

Nervously, I waited for his reaction. He didn’t show much. He quietly loosened his grip, then folded the shirt neatly.

He continued rummaging through the box and found a few basketball tickets.

His photo was printed on them.

He froze, then took out each ticket to look at it.

They were for different dates. I hadn’t missed a single game he’d played.

I’d never told him.

Back in college, I’d watched so many of his games. He wore the number seven, in a white-and-purple jersey, the tallest and most handsome player on the court.

I’d had more than a little crush on him.

That was why, when we met again, I’d fallen for him so fast—and why he’d won me over in no time.

“Idiot,” Nan Heting scoffed, tossing the tickets aside.

I’ll admit I’d been an idiot. Otherwise, he couldn’t have fooled me for so long.

But Nan Heting wasn’t exactly acting smart, either.

What did he call this? Carefully picking apart my past crush on him—was that supposed to be clever?

He kept searching. When his fingers touched a letter, the sneer vanished from his face.

My heart climbed into my throat.

It was a letter in a pink envelope, the confession I’d written more than a decade ago and never sent.

He held his breath as he opened it, his hands trembling.

Maybe he remembered. He hated pink, and I’d gone out of my way to give him a pink letter.

Together, Nan Heting and I looked at the letter my teenage self had written to him.

He probably didn’t know I’d noticed him back in middle school.

My parents doted on me. I was a round-faced, rather ordinary girl.

He was poor, but a brilliant student.

His good looks had always drawn plenty of attention.

Teenagers don’t care much about whether two families are well matched. So I became one of the many girls who liked him.

I had a crush on him for three years. On graduation day, I finally worked up the courage to stop him on the way home.

I handed him the pink love letter and asked him to consider going out with me.

He only gave a faint laugh and told me to get lost.

I stubbornly tried to make him take the letter. Frowning, he accepted it, then tossed it into a trash can.

He walked off. When I chased after him, I saw a girl take his hand.

He already had a girlfriend.

Every bit of courage I’d gathered vanished.

I went back and fished the letter out of the trash.

Years later, I developed heart disease and nearly died.

Then, at twenty, I received his first love’s heart and got a second chance at life.

The old letter was nothing more than a regret from my youth.

Nan Heting’s hands trembled as he slipped it back into its envelope, pretending he’d never seen it.

I could have kicked myself. I should’ve burned everything before I died.

Why leave myself such embarrassing keepsakes?

Even dead, I couldn’t get much of a reaction from him. It only made me look more pathetic.

Awkwardly, I left and curled up on the sofa.

Nan Heting didn’t sleep that night, either.

At midnight, he opened the door, picked up the coat he’d worn that day, and went out.

With nowhere else to go, I was forced to follow him out in the middle of the night.

In the car, I learned one of his friends had invited him for drinks.

“Mr. Nan, we hardly ever see you these days,” his friend teased when we arrived.

When we were newly married, I hadn’t liked him going out to places like this. I’d sulk and make him come home.

His friends hadn’t thought much of me for it.

Nan Heting said nothing. He picked up a glass and downed it, earning cheers from the others.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Mr. Nan! Is your wife not keeping you on a leash tonight?”

They still didn’t know I was dead. Their jokes came easily.

I watched Nan Heting from the shadows.

He set his glass down as if nothing were wrong, even managing a smile.

“Why bring her up? She’s still mad, and I haven’t made it up to her yet.”

He could lie without batting an eye. No wonder he’d built such a successful business so young.

He could have said, “She’s dead. Don’t talk about her.” That would’ve saved him the teasing that followed.

But he didn’t. His friends kept pressing until he nearly blushed.

“Your wife might keep you on a short leash, but she really does care about you. Take it from your brother: when a married couple fights, they make up in bed. Go home, apologize, and you’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“She won’t listen.”

“Come on, how could she—”

His friend stopped when he saw Nan Heting’s expression.

Nan Heting said nothing more. His friend didn’t ask again.

They drank in silence until a tipsy man came over.

“Mr. Nan, your wife had a custom ring made by my wife. It’s been finished for ages, but she never came to pick it up, and we can’t reach her. I brought it today. Would you mind taking it home?”

A gold ring box landed in front of Nan Heting.

His unfocused gaze struggled to settle. Then he irritably picked up the box and opened it.

Inside was a beautiful pair of diamond rings, their designs shaped like butterfly wings.

I’d designed them myself. At least I was lucky enough to see them, even after my death.

We’d thrown away our wedding bands during an argument and never replaced them.

After thinking it over, I’d designed a new pair myself.

I just hadn’t expected to see the finished rings like this.

The two rings caught the colored lights and flashed. I tried to touch them, but my fingers passed right through.

“Mr. Nan… are you all right?” someone asked cautiously.

Nan Heting shot to his feet and kicked the table as if he needed to vent his rage.

Ignoring everyone calling after him, he stormed out.

Nan Heting tore through the villa looking for something. I sat beside him and watched for fifteen minutes.

There wasn’t much to tear apart; most of the place had already been emptied.

“Assistant Zhang, where’s everything that was in the cabinet?!”

At three in the morning, Nan Heting called and woke him up.

Still groggy, the assistant answered, “Mr. Nan, you told me to clear everything out…”

At that, Nan Heting went still.

The assistant had no idea why he’d been summoned, and no idea why he was dismissed again.

Nan Heting sank to the floor, staring blankly at the two diamond rings.

“Impossible. Yan Mingmei, don’t think you can still mess with me after you’re dead.”

He’d laid one more ridiculous accusation at my door.

I was furious, but even that didn’t last. His deranged behavior left me drained.

I really wanted to know what he was looking for.

But I couldn’t ask. I could only sit on the floor with him.

He looked out of his mind, staring so hard at the rings you’d think he could bore a hole through them.

After a long while, he seemed to remember something and rushed to the kitchen.

The food in the fridge hadn’t been cleared out yet.

The cream puffs I’d shaped into hearts were tucked away in the far corner. They were long past their expiration date. I could tell the cream had soured without even tasting them.

The hearts had lost their shape. The cream gave off a sour smell.

Nan Heting didn’t seem to notice. He stuffed the cream puffs into his mouth, one after another.

When he couldn’t fit another bite, he ran to the sink and threw it all up.

I stared, speechless.

Then he shouted my name, his voice vicious.

“Yan Mingmei, you’re not allowed to die!”

I’d never thought the brainless after-death romances I read online could happen in real life.

In the middle of the night, Nan Heting went to a garbage dump.

The billionaire CEO rummaged through trash with his employees like a beggar.

He said he was looking for two rings.

Three-carat diamonds, engraved with our names.

From his description, they were our wedding bands.

During one of our arguments, we’d thrown them into the pond by the entrance. Somehow, he’d later retrieved them and put them away.

“Mr. Nan, we found them!”

One of the workers held them out as if he’d found a lifeline.

Nan Heting took them with trembling hands.

I gritted my teeth and blew a breath.

He fumbled them. The rings rolled into a drain.

“No!”

He went mad, ripping at the drain guard so hard he nearly tore it off just to get the rings back.

I was even more dumbfounded.

I was gone. Why was he putting on this grand display of devotion?

The news of Nan Heting’s rampage at the dump was everywhere the next day.

He didn’t care. He fell asleep with the ring in his hand.

Less than twelve hours remained before I left this world.

At nine the next morning, just as the funeral home opened, Nan Heting appeared at the entrance.

He strode over to the director, who was unlocking the door.

“Tell her I’ve forgiven her.”

“Pardon?” The director looked baffled.

Professional as ever, he managed not to stare at Nan Heting like he was crazy and put on a polite smile instead.

“Um… who are you talking about?”

“Where’s Yan Mingmei?!”

Nan Heting grabbed him by the collar.

His outburst over scattering my ashes had been so outrageous that the director remembered my name.

“Ms. Yan… Ms. Yan was cremated on the twenty-ninth of last month. I already handed her ashes to you.”

“Impossible! She isn’t dead!”

Nan Heting’s eyes bulged. He begged the funeral home to give me back.

Watching him, I almost laughed.

In a few hours, even my soul would be gone, and he was still begging them to return me.

Security stepped in and put an end to the spectacle.

Nan Heting started wandering aimlessly again.

In the end, he wandered back home.

I couldn’t begin to imagine how he felt now, or why he thought I wasn’t dead.

I only felt myself growing lighter and lighter.

So light that the slightest breeze could carry me away.

Nan Heting paced around the villa, irritably calling my name in every corner.

When no one answered, he smashed one thing, then another.

He kept going until there was nothing left to break. Only then did he seem to snap out of it.

He called his assistant. What he asked for made me curse his brains—or lack of them.

Why else would he order his assistant to find a reliable Taoist priest as fast as possible?

The man arrived quickly. I heard he was really good.

He could understand the boundary between yin and yang, and even speak with me.

As soon as he entered, he waved his horsetail whisk over Nan Heting again and again.

The ridiculous thing was that I stood right beside him, and he didn’t see me at all.

What kind of Taoist priest was this?

“Young man, an old friend is by your side.”

Nan Heting’s face darkened.

I froze, on edge.

“But she doesn’t wish to see you. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

Hmph. The old man understood me pretty well.

“Why doesn’t she want to see me?”

“She has an unfinished wish.”

With just those few exchanges, the old man had read my mind perfectly.

So perfectly I almost thought my brother had hired him as a spy.

Nan Heting fell silent.

Only after the priest left did he tell his assistant to restore all of the Yan family’s businesses.

That was an enormous surprise to me.

If I owed anyone anything, it was my family.

Now that my wish had been granted, I could leave in peace.

Less than an hour remained.

I’d fulfilled every wish I had.

After that, I should be able to disappear, right?

Leave this world, and—if I was lucky—be reincarnated.

I could begin a new life.

I looked forward to it. I hoped I’d never meet anyone like Nan Heting in another lifetime.

This time, accepting death felt easier than before.

I was even happy as I said goodbye to each of my plants.

Nan Heting had just finished a call with my brother. They’d argued bitterly, but at least they’d settled everything.

My brother wanted my ashes buried in the Yan family’s ancestral graveyard.

Nan Heting said he could dream on. Even dead, I was still his wife.

I let them argue. My ashes had already been scattered through the mountains.

No matter how powerful they were, they couldn’t suck every bit of me back together.

It didn’t matter where I was buried. What mattered was that I was free.

I happily perched on the sofa, legs crossed, and waited for my second death.

I even leaned over the table to sip tea.

I didn’t notice that Nan Heting’s gaze had changed from dazed to astonished.

I was playing with a little tea figurine. Just as I reached to squeeze it, someone caught my hand.

“Mingmei!”

I turned in shock.

I could see my hand. It had become solid.

I stared in disbelief at myself, then at Nan Heting, who was gripping me tightly.

That Taoist priest really did know his stuff.

When I fulfilled my last wish, Nan Heting had truly seen me.

He wrapped me in his arms like a madman, holding me so tightly it was as if he meant to pull me into his body.

“Mingmei, you’re back. Don’t leave. Please, don’t go.”

I’d guessed his feelings for me had changed, but I was still stunned when he said the word love.

“How dare you say you love me?”

I pushed him away. “But I don’t love you anymore.”

Nan Heting froze, his bright eyes brimming with tears.

So he could cry.

And when he cried, he wasn’t so different from me.

Our eyes filled to the brim, then overflowed like a reservoir whose gates had been thrown open.

It was the first time I’d seen him cry.

And, as it turned out, the last.

“I’m already dead,” I reminded him coldly.

“No, you’re not. You came back!”

He refused to accept it. Gripping my hand, he broke down in front of me.

He said he loved me and had never wanted me dead.

He’d wanted revenge on my family, but he hadn’t wanted things between us to end this way.

He said he’d realized he’d fallen in love with me long ago, but hadn’t dared admit it.

Love and hate were only a glance apart. Once the hatred was spent,

all that remained was endless love.

I let him hold me and said nothing.

Nan Heting cried for a long, long time.

There were less than two minutes before I disappeared.

From somewhere, he pulled out the custom rings and begged me through his tears.

“The rings—I got them. Can I put them on you?”

Faced with his pleading, I realized I still couldn’t bring myself to ignore him.

I thought for a few seconds, then readily agreed.

“All right.”

I smiled and held out my hand, giving him my gentlest smile.

Nan Heting sniffed. He kissed my hand lightly before he dared do anything else.

His hands trembled as he slid the ring onto my finger. It was almost all the way on.

But my body couldn’t hold together any longer.

“Goodbye, Nan Heting.”

I whispered in his ear.

“No!”

He lunged toward me.

Smiling, I vanished before his eyes.

The ring flashed as it fell to the floor.

“Yan Mingmei!”

Nan Heting sobbed as if his heart had been torn apart. He no longer looked like the self-assured man he’d once been.

He surged forward, unafraid even of the cliff’s edge.

Luckily, his bodyguards reacted quickly and stopped a tragedy.

I knew he’d never be able to forget me.

That didn’t matter. I only hoped the guilt he felt would make him treat my family well.

I vanished from this world completely, traveling with the wind, the rivers, and the rain, to see the world.

From then on, wherever I went,

I could leave a trace of myself.

When we were in love, I’d told him I wanted to travel around the world. I never thought I’d only get to do it after I died.

At the very end, I heard him say he loved me again.

I heard him, but I didn’t answer.

I only smiled and became a gentle breeze.

It swept across Nan Heting’s fingertips, my final goodbye to him.

“Don’t die… I love you…”

He murmured like a madman at the cliff’s edge.

So this had been the year he loved me most, too.

Too bad I was already dead.