The Empress Grew Weary - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Before I traveled here—

Li Jingzhan had just laid everything bare to me.

And blamed me for it.

The year I turned eleven, I caught one glimpse of him, and my heart went with him.

I hadn’t yet known what liking someone meant.

I only heard the Crown Prince had won a great victory and was returning to the capital.

So I thought I’d go watch the commotion.

That day, Li Jingzhan walked at the head of the column in gleaming silver armor.

“A bright-clad youth on a spirited steed”—that phrase might as well have been written for him.

I stared, dumbstruck.

Back home, I had the court painter make a portrait of him, hung it in my room, and admired it every day.

The more I looked, the fonder of him I grew.

After that, every time I entered the palace, I would find some excuse to get close to him.

As I grew older, I came to understand that this was what liking someone meant.

But Li Jingzhan was always cold and distant with me.

I gave him a sachet; he said it was ugly.

I asked him to teach me to ride; he turned right around and handed me off to the Grand Tutor’s son.

I told him I liked him; he laughed coldly and teased me.

“The Prime Minister’s second daughter is truly unlike any other girl.”

I thought at the time he was praising me.

Then the Emperor moved to choose a Crown Princess for him.

All the noble young ladies of the capital threw themselves into the effort, each hoping to marry into the Eastern Palace.

I was no exception. I ran to my sister to ask my odds.

My sister, seeing me come, hurriedly tucked the jade pendant in her hand away.

“I couldn’t say. It all depends on His Highness’s wishes.”

My sister had always known I cared for Li Jingzhan, and had often helped me scheme.

Yet now, I felt a flicker of doubt.

Unless I had misseen, the pendant she held was the very one Li Jingzhan kept on his person.

I had asked him for it once before; he had refused.

I would not give up.

On the eve of the selection, I disguised myself as a page and slipped out of the manor to see Li Jingzhan.

He looked at me like this and was utterly speechless.

“Jiang the Second Miss—is there a shred of a proper young lady left about you?”

I twisted the hem of my clothes and said, guilty:

“Father wouldn’t let me out. I had no choice.”

“I just wanted to ask—will you choose me tomorrow?”

Li Jingzhan’s face turned grim, his tone laced with impatience.

“Jiang Muling, is there a single thing about you that resembles a Crown Princess?

“Your conduct is reckless, with none of a lady’s grace. Your name was struck from the list long ago.

“And We are fond of your sister—only someone like her is fit to be Our Crown Princess. Give up that foolish hope of yours.”

Though I had guessed as much, hearing it from his own lips still left me unable to accept it.

I stumbled back a few steps.

“Then why didn’t you say so earlier?”

If he had told me he didn’t care for me, I would never have clung to him.

Shame burned through me.

To think I had been fighting my own sister for a man—how despicable.

Li Jingzhan was right. My sister was accomplished and sensible.

She was the one who should have been Crown Princess.

I swore I would never care for Li Jingzhan again.

So when I woke seven years later, I could not, would not, believe it.

That Li Jingzhan’s Empress could be me.