Precious Root and Golden Egg - Chapter 3

By third grade, I already had seven brothers.

One more, and my parents could become ordinary folk.

But producing sons, which had been easier than sneezing for the past ten years, suddenly hit a snag.

For six whole months, not one woman in the neighborhood got pregnant.

Prenatal dreams changed, too. What had been two against one became N against N.

In the dream, four and a half infant spirits stood on one side and ten couples on the other. At the head of the hall sat the holder of a newly created underworld position: the Reincarnation Resources Manager.

“We’ve received numerous complaints during our follow-up calls to existing customers.

“Many report that their parents are too poor. Some families can’t even afford underpants.

“Under the principle of reciprocity, if parents can choose their child’s sex, children must also have the right to choose their parents’ financial circumstances.

“I therefore declare this reincarnation matching session open!

“Parents, please present your competitive advantages!”

After a brief stunned silence, the parents sprang into action.

Those with money displayed their money and promised a comfortable life. Those with looks displayed their looks and promised a beautiful face. Long-established locals showed off their household registrations: life on easy mode. Calligraphers and painters produced their family trees: respectable ancestry included.

My parents offered a single-story house in a fourth-tier city, their status as wage workers, six brothers, and no savings. Every infant spirit eliminated them in the first round.

Dad’s colleague, Uncle Li, was a different story. He and his wife led with a big villa, a car, three generations of only sons, and gold bars hidden under the bed.

The spirits were just about to vote when the Reincarnation Resources Manager called, “Wait!”

A mirror appeared in the center of the hall.

One by one, it showed the family backgrounds and material circumstances the parents had described—the actual versions, naturally.

Uncle Li’s village house let in both wind and rain. There really was something under the bed, but it wasn’t gold. It was a packet of peanut candy he had hidden from his four sons.

His lies collapsed on the spot.

The infant spirits sneered. “Who do you think you’re fooling—ghosts?”

In the end, all the spirits chose the richest couple in City A.

Uncle Li sighed and told them, “You pick first. The rest of us will compete for whoever’s left.”

But the wealthy couple pointed to each of the four spirits in turn.

“Why choose? We’ll take them all. Quadruplets!”

Now the other parents, mine included, panicked.

“Everyone is equal! Are poor people not worthy of having children?”

The Reincarnation Resources Manager merely asked, “Everyone is equal. Are people without a little willy not worthy of being born?”

In the end, though, I did get another younger brother.

There had been four and a half infant spirits at that session. The half-spirit had suffered damage to his spiritual body and had only half a body left. Reincarnation was the only way to repair his soul.

The richest couple didn’t want him. Neither did anyone else. Only my parents, determined to qualify as ordinary folk, gritted their teeth and took him.

My eighth brother was born without legs.

Mercifully, he still had his third leg.

From then on, poor people could scarcely have children at all. Even the occasional exceptions mostly produced sons with physical disabilities or intellectual impairments.

The wealthy, meanwhile, switched to accelerated reproduction: triplets, quintuplets, even octuplets.

The number of sons became the surest proof of a family’s wealth.

People used to envy parents with lots of sons. Now they envied children with lots of brothers.

When parents scolded their sons—“Why are you so stupid?”—the boys no longer hung their heads in shame. They answered with perfect confidence.

“If I were smart, do you think you’d get to be my dad?”

“Be grateful you’ve got anyone to carry on your line!”

“You picked me, champ!”

In this climate, my high IQ became more precious than ever.

The day I placed first in my school and won admission to a prestigious middle school, my parents made my seven brothers drop out.

After all, a household had room for only one Yaozu—one Glory of the Ancestors.

At the dinner table, my parents happily mapped out the future.

“With us and your grandparents, that’s eleven people going out to work. Each of us sends Yaozu three thousand yuan a month.

“That’s thirty-three thousand a month, four hundred thousand a year, four million in ten years.

“Yaozu will be an adult by then. With four million in his pocket, he can buy a good car and a house. How could he fail to find a wife?

“If we all pull together, the Wang family’s future is bright!”

My brothers were livid.

“Why should he get the money we earn?”

“It’s perfectly normal,” Mom said. “That’s how I helped your uncle get married and establish himself.”

“Normal? I’m a boy!” they yelled.

Dad threw down his chopsticks.

“So having you was a mistake? I gave you your lives! Is it too much to ask you to contribute to the family? What a waste, raising you!”

My brothers were furious, too.

“If you only care about our big brother, why did you even have us?”

Mom covered her face and began to sob.

“You’re breaking Mommy’s heart.

“The palm and the back are both part of the same hand. I love you all equally.

“Do I deserve to be laughed at just because I want another son? I only wanted enough sons to make three of those three-son characters!”