Chapter 19: She’s My Fiancée?

By the time Su Wan reached the village, the sun was overhead. Madam Wang stood at the courtyard gate, watching for her. As soon as she spotted her daughter, she hurried out. “Wan, you’re finally back! What took so long?”

“I was delayed buying things,” Su Wan said with a smile.

Madam Wang took her basket and spotted the red veil and embroidered shoes. “Oh, those shoes are lovely.”

Su Wan slipped an arm through hers. “You don’t think I wasted money, Mother?”

Madam Wang smoothed her daughter’s hair. “I’ve been a bride myself. Of course I understand. It happens only once in a lifetime; you should have a fine wedding.”

“You’re the best.”

“You must be tired after the walk. Go inside and rest. Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Su Wan took back the basket, returned to the west room, and unpacked. Su Xue was embroidering her wedding garment by the bed. When she looked up and saw the red shoes and veil, her needle pierced her fingertip. She sucked in a breath and saw a bead of blood, but her envy hurt more than the prick.

After staring for a while, she said sourly, “You’re willing to spend, aren’t you? Those must have cost a lot.”

Without turning, Su Wan folded the veil, put it in the wooden chest with the shoes, and locked it again. She threaded the key onto a thin cord and hung it around her neck.

Su Xue’s face changed as she watched. She set her sewing on the table and sneered. “Who are you looking down on? You think everyone’s like you, never having seen anything nice and locking it up every day?”

Su Wan looked at her, so calm it was infuriating. “I do look down on you. You really haven’t seen nice things like mine.”

Su Xue sprang up, scarlet. “How can you speak to me like that?”

Su Wan brushed dust from her skirt, her voice unhurried. “I speak to you the way you speak to me. You can’t let a day pass peacefully; you have to find fault. We both know what you’re doing, but you insist I say it aloud. Fool.”

The last word left Su Xue rigid. She opened her mouth to curse back, but found nothing to say. She was furious that Su Wan always had the upper hand, that even though she was marrying a rough man like Huo Shi’an, she could still enjoy her life. Worst of all, though Su Wan’s words stung, Xue could find no answer that would put her down.

Su Wan watched the resentment in her eyes without a ripple of feeling. Silence settled for a moment. Su Xue clenched her teeth, nails digging into her palms. At last she forced out, “Just you wait.”

Su Wan gave her a glance and did not bother replying. She removed her shoes and lay down with her back to her sister. She had hidden the dagger from inside her collar beneath her pillow; its cool touch reassured her.

Su Xue stood with her chest heaving, then returned to the window. Her hands shook when she picked up her sewing. Su Wan closed her eyes, but sleep would not come. She was thinking of Huo Shi’an. He should be home by now. Would his family be startled by the state of him? He had been filthy.

In Huo Family Village, Madam Guo opened the courtyard gate to find a bearded man standing there. A bulging bundle hung from his shoulder, his clothes were too dirty to show their original color, and he smelled of road dust and a faint trace of blood.

She stumbled back two steps. “Who are you?”

The man grinned, showing white teeth. “Mother, it’s me.”

Madam Guo froze. She stared at the face mostly hidden by beard, then at the figure taller than the gate frame. The longer she looked, the less certain she was. The voice was familiar, but the man looked nothing like the son she remembered. When he left two years ago, Huo Shi’an had been tall but still boyish, with clear, open features. This man had broad shoulders, a narrow waist, strong arms, and sharp eyes that could make a person uneasy.

“Shi’an?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yes.” He stepped into the courtyard, passed her, and put his bundle under the eaves as though he had never left. “Mother, is there water? I’m thirsty.”

Only then was she certain it was her son. Her eyes grew warm, but she could not help saying, “You haven’t been home in two years, and look at you! You’re filthy.”

He looked down at himself without answering. He had traveled from the border city, sleeping in wind and dust, making do in ruined temples and on deserted hillsides. It was a wonder his clothes had lasted the journey.

Madam Guo walked halfway around him, frowning more deeply. “That beard needs shaving. Anyone who didn’t know better would think a refugee had come to our house.”

He had no answer.

“I’ll heat water,” she said, turning toward the kitchen. “Wash properly and shave while you’re at it. Don’t frighten people.”

A little later, Shi’an took a bowl of warm water from her. As he drank, he thought suddenly of Su Wan. Her herbal tea had been faintly bitter, with a sweet finish and a cooling feel in his throat. It had tasted much better than this.

His hand paused around the bowl, and he smiled despite himself. She should be home by now.

Madam Guo leaned out of the kitchen and caught the smile. “What are you smiling at?”

He finished the water. “Nothing. Where’s Father?”

“He went to Carpenter Luan’s. He should be back soon.”

Shi’an sat on a low stool in the courtyard and opened his bundle. Inside were two changes of clothes, a short blade, several pieces of silver, and hides and dried goods from the border city.

When Madam Guo came out after heating water, she frowned at the blade. “Why bring that home? Put it away where no one can see.”

He did as she asked without explaining. For nearly a year, they had fought the Hu people daily; if his blade was too far away, he could not sleep soundly.

He washed thoroughly in the back courtyard. Hot water carried away the dust and revealed old scars across his shoulders and back, dark and pale lines stretched over firm muscle like centipedes. Seeing them through the crack in the door, Madam Guo’s eyes reddened. She said nothing. She placed clean clothes outside and wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she turned away.

By the time Shi’an finished, Huo Chuan had returned. Tall and lean, his face darkened by years of fieldwork, he stared at his son for a moment, then clapped him hard on the shoulder. “You’re back.”

“I’m back.”

Madam Guo brought out a bowl of noodles with two eggs and a spoonful of minced meat sauce. “Eat first. You can shave afterward.”

Shi’an sat down and ate. A few mouthfuls emptied more than half the bowl. His mother watched, heartsore. “Slow down. No one’s taking it from you. There’s more in the pot.”

“I’m used to it. At the border, if you eat slowly, the food is gone.”

Her nose prickled at that. Huo Chuan watched his son eat. “How long can you stay?”

“About half a month.”

“That’s enough,” Madam Guo said at once. “Just enough time for your wedding.”

Shi’an’s chopsticks stopped. He looked up. “What wedding?”

She smiled. “I arranged an excellent match for you. The girl is kind, pretty, and good-natured. You don’t know how many people in the village envy you.”

But Shi’an was thinking of Su Wan. He finished the noodles in a few bites. “I’m not planning to marry yet. Cancel it.”

His mother’s smile froze. She stared, wondering whether she had misheard. “What did you say?”

“End the engagement.”

She slapped the table, making the bowls and chopsticks jump. “End what? We’ve delivered the betrothal gifts and set the date. You’re marrying in four days.”

“In four days?” His brows drew together.

“Yes, four days!” Her eyes reddened as her anger rose. “Your childhood friends have children old enough to run errands, and you’re still away. You’re twenty-one. Must I wait until my hair turns white without a grandchild?”

“Why didn’t you discuss this with me?”

“You haven’t come home in two years. Where was I supposed to find you?”

He frowned. “I’m not marrying. If there has to be a wedding, you do it.”

Huo Chuan’s face darkened. “Speak properly to your mother.”

Shi’an closed his eyes, then opened them. “I’m not angry at her, Father. I really had no plans to marry.”

Madam Guo could not bear it. “You had no plans? You’ll ruin that girl’s reputation with those words?”

He paused. She glared at him through red eyes. “The Su girl is innocent. She accepted the gifts, the date is set, and the whole village knows she’s marrying you. If you break it off now, how can she face anyone?”

“The Su family’s eldest?” His voice changed.

His mother was too angry to notice. “Yes, Su Dashan’s eldest, Su Wan. Granny Zhao praises her too, says she’s capable and sensible. You’re lucky to have her.”

Shi’an stiffened, then could not suppress the smile rising on his lips. What a coincidence: the girl he wanted to marry was the very one his parents had chosen. No wonder she had said they would meet again soon, known he was returning from the border, and asked how long he could stay. His heart soared.

Seeing his silence, Madam Guo thought he was still resisting. “I’m telling you, the engagement cannot be broken.”

He looked up. “Mother, I suddenly think you’re right. I can’t ruin the girl’s reputation. Besides, I’m twenty-one; it is time I married.”

Madam Guo stared. Huo Chuan said nothing. The rest of her scolding caught in her throat, while her husband’s brows eased and he lifted his tea.

“Really? You won’t break it off?” she asked, still uncertain.

“I won’t.”

She studied him, half angry and half amused. “Why couldn’t you say that sooner instead of frightening me half to death?”

“I didn’t know you’d chosen Su Wan,” he muttered. His voice was too low for her to hear. Remembering what Wan had said when they parted, he smiled again. She must be pleased with him. Good judgment!

“What are you grinning at? Shave that beard. You look dreadful.” Madam Guo brought a basin of water and a razor.

He looked at his reflection and touched his beard. It did need shaving; otherwise kissing would be inconvenient. The blade passed along his jaw, whiskers falling away to reveal high brows and a straight nose. With less of the wildness showing, he looked more handsome. His mother grew more satisfied with every stroke.

Halfway through shaving, he asked, “When did you deliver the betrothal gifts? What did you give?”

Huo Chuan told him. “Too little,” Shi’an said.

Madam Guo slapped his shoulder. “Eight taels is too little? Other men offer at most four or six.”

“As you said, that’s other men. We aren’t short of money.”

Once clean-shaven, he wiped his face, went to his room for money, and headed out. His mother followed two steps. “Where are you going?”

“The county town.”

“What for at this hour? You’ve just returned. Can’t you rest at home?”

“I’m not tired. I’ll buy wine and have a drink with Father tonight.”

Huo Chuan smiled. His son was so dutiful. “We have wine at home. Don’t bother.”

“The wine here isn’t good.”

Before he finished, he was already outside. Huo Shi’an would not sleep well until he had spent those one hundred and fifty copper coins.