Chapter 3

I was born prematurely, and everyone in the family thought I would be a boy.

On the day I was born, my mother was eating pears sent by my grandparents.

Pears weren’t expensive, but our family was poor, so they were meant to be sold for money.

Mother was so excited that she went into labor while eating.

Half of the pear fell to the ground.

When my grandparents saw that my mother had given birth to another girl, they didn’t even spare me a glance.

When Father returned home with the goods, he let out a heavy sigh. “Letting you eat pears! Pear means separation! You ate away the incense for the Lin Family!”

Because I was a girl, Mother suffered all kinds of cold looks from my grandparents.

She woke earlier than the chickens and slept later than the dogs every day.

She kept the house in perfect order.

She just couldn’t look after me.

She endured year after year, and finally, when I was five, she gave birth to Lin Yuefeng.

I stood at the mouth of the alley, watching the family coming and going.

Grandparents were all smiles, even their gaze toward me grew a bit more approving.

But the monk at the temple said that my birth characters clashed with Lin Yuefeng’s.

On the day of his full month, neither Da Huang nor I were allowed to enter the house.

Da Huang was a dog I found and brought home.

On his first day, he caught a little thief for the family, so he was allowed to stay-barely.

Father said the Lin Family doesn’t keep idle people, not even a dog could afford to be idle.

The courtyard was filled with laughter, with people taking turns praising Lin Yuefeng’s thick eyebrows and big eyes, and praising Lin Pianyue for her good looks.

Sister really was beautiful, and when she spoke, her voice was always soft and gentle.

I secretly tried to imitate her, pinching my voice for a while, until Da Huang almost started cursing.

If anyone asked about the prettiest girls in Changning Town, they would surely mention the eldest daughter of the Lin Family on Qingchi Lane.

Not just Father-even my always-son-preferencing grandparents cared about her quite a bit.

Behind closed doors, they would always say, if Sister could marry into a good family, would their dear grandson ever have to worry about lacking support?

I sat on the moss-covered steps, chewing a stalk of wild grass.

The roadside was dotted with countless nameless wildflowers like tiny stars.

A draught of wind would sweep through, and they would fall just like that.

When Sister turned twelve, Father sent her to the embroidery workshop.

By the time I turned twelve, Sister’s embroidery could already be sold for money.

I told Father I wanted to go to the embroidery workshop too.

Father went back to his room without a word, leaving Mother to persuade me.

“That embroidery workshop… Your sister has only just started making some money to buy herself a bit of food and drink.”

“Li, your sister is weak and can’t do other work. Your father and I really had no choice but to let her study embroidery for so many years.”

“You should give in to your sister, don’t try to be the same as her in everything.”

“Listen to your father and mother and go work for Granny Liu. Granny Liu pays good wages, and your younger brother is about to start going to school again…”

That night, I tossed and turned and barely got any sleep.

But in my dreams, all I saw was Sister with a light pink silk flower in her hair, holding Mother’s hand as they went to the embroidery workshop to become an apprentice.

Father and Mother always said that the palm and the back of the hand are both made of flesh.

The palm is Lin Yuefeng, the back is Lin Pianyue.

The unnoticed Lin Li slipped away through the cracks between their fingers.