Love’s Time Lag, When He Woke Up, She Moved On - Chapter 19

Shen Yuxiu’s Monologue:

I know, my acquaintance with Song Zhiwei was full of calculation.

Her father was swindled, left with a mountain of debt, and lacking the courage to bear it, he chose suicide, leaving those debts to her and her mother.

But I didn’t care what her purpose was in approaching me. The thing I lack least is money.

A smooth-sailing life is dull; money can no longer buy happiness, but Song Zhiwei can.

To me, those things are no different from handbags costing a few dozen yuan each-unless I need them for appearances at special occasions, I won’t carry them out.

Song Zhiwei has a shrewd face, but not enough depth of scheming. Whatever she’s calculating in her heart is written plainly across her features.

Her affection is just as clear. The light that shines in her eyes when she looks at me, the unconsciously coquettish tone in her voice, the natural relaxation of her body when she’s close to me.

She likes me, only me, trying to please me, to repay me.

I give her resources, and she uses half her pay to buy me gifts.

I give her jewelry, designer handbags, clothes, houses, cars-she gives me watches and calligraphy.

She seems to be working hard to maintain some subtle balance between us.

I don’t bother to explore the reason; I just enjoy the feeling that my moods can tug at her emotions at any moment.

But at some point, I found that I could no longer see myself in Song Zhiwei’s eyes.

The things I gave her, she turned around and sold.

When I asked, she’d feign innocence and say she was afraid of damaging them if she took them out, so she had to put them away for safekeeping.

I could tell she was fooling me.

The more she did this, the more anxious and angry I became.

I tried everything to test her, even had Ming Rao act with me.

I wanted to see her get jealous, to make me drive away the women around me, so that I’d have only her.

But she did nothing. Not only did she move out of our home, she pushed me away again and again.

My anger had nowhere to go, and there was an indescribable panic-I didn’t know what to do.

Until she announced she would no longer play along, vanished from the world, even changed all her contact information.

It took me so much effort to find her, and only then did I finally realize I had lost her long ago.

[END]