Chapter 18

So tired.

So tired.

Those same words, again and again.

I interrupted her: “Mom, sons and daughters are the same. Half of our blood comes from you.”

“Daughters can be successful too. Daughters can support you in your old age. When will you finally understand this?”

That night, my little sister squeezed into my bed and whispered, “Sis, am I dragging you down?”

“No. I’m just wondering, when will Mom and Dad ever change their way of thinking?”

“Maybe when I graduate from college and start earning money, they’ll change.”

“Will they, really?”

My sister nodded hard. “They will. I’m sure they will.”

In the end, Dad still managed to scrape together ten thousand yuan.

Part of it was borrowed from others.

I was furious and heartbroken at the same time.

Aunt was clearly displeased, her tone dripping with sarcasm: “Just ten thousand yuan? That’s not enough!”

She shot me a look. “Isn’t Xiaxia the one who can earn money? Your cousin is getting married, and you’re not going to help out at all?”

I looked embarrassed. “Even my tuition is paid with loans. I was hoping that after my cousin’s engagement, maybe he could lend me some money for school.”

Aunt’s face changed instantly. “No way. Your second cousin and younger cousin are both growing up too, you know.”

Who knows what else she went around muttering about.

The grandpas and grandmas in the village all put on airs and lectured me:

“Xiaxia, just because you went to university doesn’t mean you can look down on people. You don’t have any real brothers, so your paternal cousins are your real brothers.”

“You still have to support them. Don’t forget your roots.”

Support them?

Never.

I wish I could dig up those roots and hack them off for good.

My paternal cousin’s wife is a firecracker.

On the day of the engagement, Aunt said that once the two of them went to work together, they could hurry up and have a child.

My cousin’s wife shot back immediately:

“I’ll only have a child after we get our marriage certificate. Otherwise, if I walk in pregnant, I’ll be at everyone’s mercy.”

Aunt’s face turned green, but she didn’t dare talk back.

That incident made me realize something.

My parents-maybe in this lifetime, they’ll never be someone I can truly rely on.

Deep down, they don’t believe I can accomplish anything.

And it’s exactly because of this that I have to work even harder.

Because my life, I can only count on myself.

I wanted to take the Graduate Entrance Exam, so I registered an account on the Nan Zhong University forum.

Back then, the forum was buzzing with activity.

I searched for information, asked questions.

That’s how I met Zhou Xiang.

He was a PhD student at Nan Zhong University.

That was when smartphones were just becoming popular, and WeChat was just emerging.

I bought a smartphone and signed up for WeChat. My very first friend was him.

He was clear-headed, emotionally steady, kind and warm-hearted.

We talked about everything.

Classic movies, the latest songs, some problem I couldn’t solve, and sometimes even philosophy.

Two months later, I had to deliver some tea a customer had ordered, near his university.

He asked me if I wanted to meet up while I was there.