I Am Not a Master - Chapter 63

Gu Feiyin had placed her certificate of bravery next to the “haunted house operating license”, and the five hundred yuan reward was carefully saved for future use, as she wasn’t in a hurry to spend it.

Zhang Daoist and Minister Li had returned with Master Gu. Initially, the simplicity of her home wasn’t a problem-it might be small, but it had everything one could need, a testament to the true nature of a sage who cares little for worldly pleasures, living just to live. They still had much to learn about reaching such a high state of being.

However, their comfort turned to shock upon seeing numerous arms and legs hanging from the windows and in the kitchen, especially when these limbs seemed to match the ones they were holding.

It wasn’t just Zhang Daoist and Minister Li who were taken aback. Over thirty little ghosts sobbed miserably upon seeing their own limbs hung up like sausages, their tears pooling on the floor, their wails pitiful to hear.

Zhao the Thief snorted coldly, seemingly unimpressed by the crying. At least these little ghosts could see their remains, unlike him whose body had been devoured long ago!

Feeling a chill in the air, Zhang Daoist couldn’t help but ask, “Master Gu, why are there so many arms and legs hanging around in your house?”

Minister Li also inquired, “Are these theirs?”

Looking around at her stockpile, Gu Feiyin grinned with satisfaction, “Just stored some snacks, maybe sell them for a bit of money, hehe. Xiao Zhang, take a look, Zhuang is here.”

At a loss for words, Xiao Zhang turned around to see Zhuang being pulled out from under the table by Master Gu…

Minister Li’s eyes widened in horror. How could Zhuang be in such a terrible state? Missing arms and legs, his face a mess, only his mouth still able to speak, he looked far more pitiful than when he had escaped from them.

Master Gu casually placed Zhuang on the table, “Xiao Zhang, Xiao Li, just offer whatever you think is fair. Don’t worry, I’ve tied him up well; he won’t escape.”

Zhuang, wishing he could hide himself away, remained silent…

Zhao the Thief, stuck on a broomstick, and the string of little ghosts could only look on…

Compared to Zhuang King, they felt almost relieved-why did that feel somewhat comforting?

Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li, not typically stingy, felt embarrassed offering such small amounts for spirits. But following Master Gu’s cue, they hesitantly suggested, “Would one hundred yuan be okay?” They feared offering too much might be rejected by Master Gu.

Gu Feiyin looked at Zhuang in surprise-Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li actually valued him at a hundred yuan! That was a good price. “Alright then, it’s a deal.”

With Zhuang handed over to Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li, the inventory was cleared. She planned to reheat last night’s dinner for lunch and then make a trip to City E, hoping to finalize the sale of the Black Blob. It was already the first day of the lunar new year, and with work resuming on the fourth day, there wasn’t much time left.

Oh, just as Zhang Daoist was about to leave, he suddenly remembered the real reason he had come: “Master Gu, we’ve recently encountered a type of Yin Energy. It’s pitch black and seems to have a physical form. It can respond to ghostly summons, and anyone who gets close to it falls under its control. Do you know what this is? Is there a way to deal with it? We’ve had several Daoist friends captured, and we’re trying to find a way to rescue them.”

Gu Feiyin pondered for a moment. Wasn’t this Yin Energy exactly the Black Blob she had been thinking about?

“You’ve come across these Black Blobs too? Where?” She hadn’t expected there to be so many, which meant her business could expand significantly.

Zhang Daoist sighed, “In an ancient tomb on Mount Dahua in City E. The tomb is filled with countless female ghosts, very troublesome. They’ve not only injured our Daoist friends but also captured them, and now their fate is uncertain.”

Gu Feiyin: “…???”

…An ancient tomb on Mount Dahua in City E? Female ghosts? Why did that sound like her temporary storage place for her inheritance?

But whether it was or not, she’d have to go there to find out. For now, Zhang Daoist and Minister Li were leading a long line of ghosts, and they needed to deliver them to the Special Unit for proper handling. After some discussion, they booked a flight to City E for 3 PM.

As Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li were leaving with the ghosts, Gu Feiyin suddenly remembered something.

“Xiao Zhang, wait!”

She almost forgot-she hadn’t asked for directions yet!

She needed to earn money, but she also needed to find her home.

She nudged the string of little ghosts and asked, “Do any of you know where Mu Mountain is?”

The little ghosts looked up at the Long Black Straight Hair with a somber expression, their eyes devoid of focus. Their gaze was rather unfriendly, as if they dared to say they didn’t know, she’d eat them alive.

But where was Mu Mountain? They had never heard of it, so how could they know?

The little ghosts exchanged glances and whispered among themselves, “Do you know Mu Mountain?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“I don’t know either. I’ve never even heard of it. Does anyone know?”

“…”

Zhao the Thief spoke up, “If we knew, would you let us go?”

Gu Feiyin replied sincerely, “If any of you know, I’ll temporarily redeem that one. Do you know?”

…Redeem?

Actually, being redeemed wouldn’t be too bad. They knew the Special Unit’s methods. For criminals like them, there was no leniency. They’d be sent straight to hell for interrogation, and it would take decades, if not centuries, to get out. Not only would they suffer daily, but even after enduring the punishment, there was no guarantee they’d reincarnate as humans. There was a ninety percent chance they’d become animals.

And who, having been human, would want to become an animal?

Suddenly, the little ghosts were extremely eager and excited, racking their brains to see if they’d ever been to a place called Mu Mountain.

Zhuang fell silent for a while, pondering Mu Mountain. Mu Mountain? The name sounded oddly familiar.

He recalled hearing a rumor ages ago about a revered monk who had settled at the foot of Mu Mountain. This monk was said to possess extraordinary cultivation skills, and consuming his soul would instantly elevate a ghost to the status of Ghost Immortal, bypassing centuries of cultivation. Unfortunately, the monk was incredibly powerful, and any ghost that sought him out was either transcended or obliterated, leaving none successful.

Zhuang had ventured there out of curiosity to see if the monk was truly as formidable as the rumors claimed. But unexpectedly, he encountered his first love-a girl of unparalleled beauty. Her mere smile or casual words could make him lose his senses. The monk was promptly forgotten; the allure of becoming a Ghost Immortal paled in comparison to the enchantment of love.

Sadly, before he could win her heart, she was devoured by a Long Black Straight Hair, leaving him so terrified he fled three hundred miles overnight without looking back.

His love story ended before it began, becoming one of his greatest regrets in his ghostly existence. To this day, he still resents the Long Black Straight Hair for ruining his chance at love, though he knows better than to seek revenge. Eighty or ninety years ago, he was no match for her, and he certainly isn’t now. He won’t foolishly return to court death.

Now, the Long Black Straight Hair before him is seeking the Mu Mountain where the previous one resided. Is there a connection between them?

One is a ghost, the other a human; they seem unrelated. Yet both are terrifying, always talking about devouring ghosts. Could this one be the child of the previous Long Black Straight Hair, or perhaps her disciple? Maybe they’re fellow apprentices?

It’s quite possible.

Seeing that none of the ghosts knew where Mu Mountain was, Gu Feiyin wasn’t too disappointed. She was used to it by now. Besides, she had saved enough money recently to advertise. She couldn’t just cast her net in City A; if possible, she would advertise worldwide. She could even include a mountain search ad beneath the Black Blob’s packaging. With enough exposure, someone-ghost or human-would eventually know something.

“I’m done here. You all can go back.”

Zhang Daoist and Minister Li agreed, preparing to leave with the ghosts. Only then did Zhuang react, hurriedly biting the doorframe and mumbling frantically, “I know, I know!”

He truly had no desire to serve time in the Underworld. The human world was so delightful, he didn’t want to leave, especially not the beautiful week he had.

“I know where Mu Mountain is!”

Oh? Someone actually knew? And it was Zhuang?

Gu Feiyin followed the voice, grabbed him by the forehead, and pulled him close. “You know where Mu Mountain is? Where is it?”

As the gentlemanly and suave Zhuang King, he was now devoid of any dignity. He choked, “I know, and I can take you there, but I have one condition.”

“What condition?”

“I… I’ll tell you later.” He glanced at the Taoist, who was watching him like a hawk, wisely refraining from asking the Long Black Straight Hair to release him in front of them. But Zhang Daoist and Minister Li saw through his little scheme immediately and warned, “Master Gu, this Zhuang is very cunning. He’s surely trying to trick you into letting him escape. He might lead you astray; don’t be fooled by him.”

Gu Feiyin pondered for a moment. It wasn’t entirely impossible, was it? In this world, there were plenty of swindlers, ready to deceive you out of your money or charm if you weren’t careful.

Seeing that the dreaded Long Black Straight Hair seemed to waver, Zhuang hastily said, “I’m not lying! I’ve really been to Mu Mountain. When I first became a ghost, I spent some time there. Mu Mountain has lots of little ghosts, and there’s a village at the foot of the mountain. On the neighboring hill, there’s a particularly beautiful little fairy-she was my first love! Alas, if it weren’t for some meddlesome fool, I might still be living a celestial life with my first love, instead of suffering here.”

Zhang Daoist scoffed coldly, “Living a celestial life with your first love? Dream on. How many ex-wives do you have? Your first love would have been no exception to your pattern of abandonment.”

“No, I believe my feelings for my first love were different.”

“Oh, I wonder what Shao Yizhou would think if he heard this.”

“…Bad boys are more attractive to women. You, an old-fashioned Taoist, wouldn’t understand.”

“Of course I wouldn’t understand. How could an honest person like me comprehend the mind of a rogue ghost? You’re just spouting nonsense!”

“…”

Zhuang was left speechless, trying to adjust his skewed eyes to appear more sincere. “Master, Master Gu, Big Sister! I’m telling the truth. I really have been to Mu Mountain, I’m not lying.”

“Who knows if you’re lying or not? Haven’t you deceived enough ghosts already?”

“…”

Gu Feiyin was also considering. It was true that Mu Mountain had many little ghosts, and there was indeed a small village at the foot. But there was no little fairy on the neighboring hill. “When did you go there?”

Zhuang replied, “About eighty or ninety years ago? It’s been so long, I can’t remember the exact time.”

“Besides the little fairy on the neighboring hill, do you remember any other ghosts?”

“…” His thoughts were entirely consumed by the little fairy; how could he remember other ghosts? “Oh, right! Mu Mountain had a particularly unreasonable female ghost. I originally planned to stay there long-term, but that Long Black Straight Hair was inexplicably hostile, attacking me on sight. Perhaps she was jealous of my affection for the little fairy, turning love into hate. We fought for three days and nights, ending in mutual defeat. I had no choice but to leave Mu Mountain.”

Gu Feiyin nodded, “Mu Mountain does have many formidable ghosts. It’s normal that you couldn’t defeat them.”

Zhang Daoist: “…Oh.” 🙂

Zhuang: “Back then, there was also a powerful monk at the foot of the mountain. He was so advanced in his cultivation that many ghosts wanted to consume him. I heard a fierce female ghost tried to eat him too, but she was nearly obliterated by a single slap from that monk, almost scattering her soul. Her pitiful cries echoed throughout Mu Mountain for a whole month! It was truly tragic.”

“Fortunately, I didn’t do such a thing. I’m a ghost with morals, full of respect for virtuous monks. My heart was entirely devoted to my little fairy. But it’s been almost a hundred years now; even the most powerful monk would have perished by now.”

A powerful monk? Gu Feiyin was genuinely excited now. Could this powerful monk be the handsome monk from her memories?

But wait, something didn’t add up. She had only slept for a while, and even at her longest, it was just a few years. Before she fell asleep, the Handsome Monk was still as handsome as ever, not yet turned into an old monk. Unless something unexpected happened, he should still be alive, which didn’t quite match Zhuang’s hundred-year tale. Although she often wished the Handsome Monk would just grow old and die already.

She scratched her head, unable to figure it out with her straightforward thinking. However, the Mu Mountain Zhuang spoke of did seem somewhat similar to her Mu Mountain. “So, which province or town is this Mu Mountain of yours located in?”

How could Zhuang possibly reveal that? Saying it would mean giving up his chance to escape. Besides, he hadn’t been back for nearly a hundred years, and he had fled in such a hurry back then that he couldn’t clearly remember the exact location.

“I only remember the general area. You’d have to go and check to be sure. After all, the world changes so much, even big cities change so much in just a few years that you wouldn’t recognize them. I’m afraid if I tell you, you might end up going the wrong way, and that would be a waste.”

Alright then, let’s redeem him first and let Zhuang lead the way. Once they find Mu Mountain, they can sell him off later.

Zhuang: … 🙁

Oh well, he knew the Long Black Straight Hair’s black heart well enough. As long as he wasn’t sent to the Underworld to serve his sentence, he would find a way to escape. Then the sky and sea would be vast, and the world would be his oyster.

…

Master Gu decided to redeem Zhuang and have him lead the way. Zhang Daoist and Minister Li were a bit worried, fearing Zhuang might be deceiving them on purpose.

Master Gu reassured them, saying if Zhuang dared to lie, she’d beat him until his soul scattered and even his mother wouldn’t recognize him. It was just a matter of dying sooner or later; he was bound to die eventually.

Xiao Zhang: “…”

Xiao Li: “…”

Well, with Master Gu being so fierce, what could they say? Of course, they couldn’t say anything.

However, considering there were still some Daoist friends suffering at Mount Dahua and the Black Blob hadn’t been sold yet, Gu Feiyin had to make a trip over there.

It seemed time was of the essence, especially since the haunted house was about to open for business.

Before leaving, Gu Feiyin instructed Jumpy and the Old Lady to take good care of the house. Her millions were stored there, and if they were stolen, she wouldn’t have a place to cry. She also took a walk under the overpass, telling the Armless Ghost and Headless Ghosts to keep an eye on the villa, and didn’t forget to give the Water Ghost a few kicks to keep him in line.

Water Ghost: … 🙁

Oh, and there were plenty of seafood, fish, and shrimp in her fridge. These things were best eaten fresh, as they spoil easily if left too long. She decided to have the Armless Ghost take them out later and deliver them to the Wang Family’s grandfather and grandson, so they wouldn’t go to waste.

The Armless Ghost agreed wholeheartedly, assuring her that he would take care of it perfectly.

After all these instructions, Gu Feiyin still felt uneasy, given the abundance of wealth at home that kept her worried.

That night, Old Man Wang’s family was once again in an uproar over the sudden appearance of fish, shrimp, and crabs in the kitchen…

Of course, no matter how chaotic it got, they still had to eat what was there.

The Ghost Lady was nearly beside herself with rage, as yet another group of bothersome Taoists had arrived at her tomb, each armed with Talismans, peachwood swords, and Thunder Strike Wood, looking menacing and hostile. She had barely managed to scare off a previous group, and now, here was another, truly an excessive nuisance.

This was her home, after all. How dare they create a ruckus right at her doorstep and think they could get away with it? Moreover, they had even kidnapped her maid, confirming just how detestable these Taoists were, even more so than those with Long Black Straight Hair.

She summoned all her maids, determined not to let these irritating Taoists ruin her lovely home.

She let out a sinister laugh, unafraid, for she held a hostage in her grasp.

The ghosts inside the tomb braced themselves for a confrontation, but shortly, Xiao Xi came running back, exclaiming, “Madam, it’s not good-the Long-haired Woman has returned!”

The Ghost Lady responded coolly, “So she has returned. What’s there to fuss about? Let her see how her inheritance is about to be divided by humans, hee hee hee.”

“That’s right, sister, don’t be afraid. We, your sisters, are here to support you. If nothing else, I’ve met quite a few ghosts over the years, and I’ve already sent out the message. They should be arriving soon.”

“My husband knows quite a few ghosts too, although they speak a different language. But no worries, his Chinese has improved a lot, and he’ll be a perfect translator.”

“We can’t let humans trample over us. Don’t ghosts have rights too? Even a mere pit is now a target for them, which is just too much!”

“Have you called the little ghosts from the nearby hills yet? Hurry up, call them all. The more ghosts we have, the stronger we are, and protecting our home is everyone’s responsibility!”

Moved by her companions’ support, the Ghost Lady dabbed at her eyes, from which blood tears began to flow: “Thank you all so much. It’s tough to finally have a home, and now, to face such terrifying troubles, I wonder if we can even keep it.”

“We will keep it, how could we not! Sister, do not fear, we will definitely drive those odious Taoists away!”

Xiao Xi added, “It’s not just that-I saw the Long-haired Woman with a few of the Taoists. They seemed to be together.”

The Ghost Lady: “…What?!”

The former wives: “…What?!”

This was truly a disaster, oh heavens, why must you be so cruel!

…

Gu Feiyin was also stunned. She hadn’t expected that the ancient tomb Xiao Zhang spoke of was actually the one where she had hidden her inheritance. What was she to do now? Was her inheritance doomed to be surrendered entirely?

Zhang Daoist noticed Master Gu’s increasingly somber expression, which looked both solemn and foreboding, making him nervous as well, “Master Gu, is the female ghost inside that tough to deal with?”

Minister Li also grew concerned, thinking, if even Master Gu finds this ghost challenging, then it must be no ordinary little ghost.

Master Gu glanced solemnly at Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li, her mood heavy.

However, aside from the three of them, there were also about a dozen Daoist friends from City E who had rushed over after hearing the news, plus members from the Special Unit’s City E branch office, totaling around twenty people.

Their expressions were still composed when they saw Zhang Daoist and Minister Li, but upon seeing that eerie Long-haired Woman, holding a ghost’s hand, their faces fell.

“What is going on here? And who is she?”

Zhang Daoist explained, “This is Master Gu, the one who resolved the crisis in City D. The one she’s holding is Zhuang King from Dalong Mountain. There are still some matters unresolved, so she brought him along.”

The others fell silent. Who among them didn’t know about the chaos at Dalong Mountain? Hundreds of ghosts gathered there, causing significant trouble. If it weren’t for Master Gu’s intervention, who knows how things would have turned out. Now, looking at Master Gu and the Zhuang King she was holding, it was indeed a sight beyond words.

The Daoists tried their best to ignore Master Gu’s peculiarities and began whispering among themselves.

“Do you have any plans now?”

“No plans yet. The ghosts inside won’t come out, so we have to go in.”

“Yes, my apprentice is still in there. It’s been a whole day and night. I hope they’re okay.”

“Old Yang and the others were in there for three days and came out fine. Your apprentice should be alright.”

“Let’s hope so.”

“By the way, Master Gu, do you have any ideas?”

Ideas? Gu Feiyin pondered. Her idea was to go in first and have a good talk with the Ghost Lady. Surely, she wasn’t dead, and business should proceed as usual. But, “Why did you come to this ancient tomb? The Ghost Lady lives there now; it’s her home. Coming uninvited would surely make her angry.”

The Daoists present were puzzled. “…??”

Zhang Daoist explained, “This is a newly discovered ancient tomb. It was damaged by tomb raiders, so the authorities approved archaeological research. Equipment has been sent to the foot of the mountain, waiting for the official entry. We didn’t expect it to be a ghost den, capturing all the archaeologists for several days. They barely escaped with their lives. We came to catch the ghosts after receiving the news, but the Ghost Lady has some tricks and captured several of us Daoists instead.”

Gu Feiyin was also a bit confused. Archaeological research? Does that mean breaking into the tomb and taking things out for study?!

Oh my, that’s practically ransacking a home! No wonder the Ghost Lady and the others reacted so fiercely. If it were her, she’d also defend her home to the death, not giving outsiders a chance to raid it.

“Since ghosts are living there and she doesn’t want to move, will you continue with the archaeological research?”

“We can’t decide that. We need to consult with the higher-ups.”

Gu Feiyin thought seriously and said, “It seems negotiations are needed. I’ll go ask the Ghost Lady what she plans to do, see if she’s willing to reconcile.”

…?? Negotiate with a ghost? Is that even possible?

While they were still in doubt, Master Gu was already stepping on Zhuang, heading towards the ancient tomb. With the Neighbor Miss and the Red-Dressed Ghost gone, Zhuang was the only ride left. Although Zhuang was missing some limbs, he couldn’t carry her on his back, but he could be stepped on, like a magical flying carpet, quite comfortable.

The Daoists present were speechless.

Seeing no movement behind her, Master Gu turned halfway and said, “Aren’t you coming along?”

The Daoists quickly responded, “Coming, of course, we’re coming!”

They made sure to prepare their gear, not leaving behind a single Talisman or peachwood sword. They anticipated a tough battle ahead, wondering if they’d make it out alive. Well, they had to go in sooner or later; there was no more time to waste.

“Be careful, especially of the Yin Energy. Don’t let it entangle you!”

“Don’t worry!”

The Taoists were indeed prepared for all sorts of scenarios, but what they hadn’t anticipated was the sheer number of ghosts this time around. Initially, there were only a few dozen female ghosts, but now there were over a hundred, including a foreign man with blond hair and blue eyes. He spoke in broken Chinese, “You lousy Taoists, ganging up to bully women, how utterly uncouth.”

The Taoists: “…And you are?”

“I’m a good man who stands up against injustice. You can call me Mark, thank you,” he replied, bowing with a gentlemanly gesture.

The Taoists: “…”

Gu Feiyin asked, “Mark, where’s the Ghost Lady and her entourage? Could you please ask them to come out? We need to discuss something.”

Mark: “…” This must be the infamous Ghost Trader with Long Black Straight Hair. Rumor has it she’s extremely dangerous; even Zhuang was tormented beyond recognition by her. It’s best not to confront her directly. Besides, this Long Black Straight Hair looks quite intimidating.

Mark: “Alright, I’ll go ask.”

As Mark left with the ghosts, the Taoists exchanged glances and put down their peachwood swords. Could this really work?

Gu Feiyin went straight to the living room and sat down. Zhuang, on the other hand, instinctively shrank beneath the table. There were so many Taoists here, and in his weakened state, even a novice Taoist could easily send him packing. He didn’t dare to be the one to stand out. Plus, Mark seemed somewhat familiar. Upon closer thought, wasn’t he the foreign husband of his ex-wife? He never expected him to show up here. The worst part was being seen in such a humiliating state; he hoped Mark would just think of him as an emotionless flying carpet…0-0

Seeing Master Gu settle in so comfortably, the Taoists also found places to sit. Zhang Daoist and Minister Li took seats beside Master Gu. “Isn’t there a chance Mark might be up to something?”

“Right, this could very well be a trap. We should remain cautious.”

Master Gu blinked her severely nearsighted eyes and said, “A trap? No worries. If they don’t come out, I’ll just go in and find them myself. It’s understandable; their home is practically being raided. They’re probably scared out of their wits and don’t want to see you.”

If it were her, she’d be terrified too. Back when the Handsome Monk frequently visited her mountain, she didn’t dare step outside.

The threat posed by the Handsome Monk was indeed overwhelming. He had a penchant for coming to the mountains to chant scriptures, and she was genuinely afraid. She even considered rallying powerful Big Ghosts to drive the Handsome Monk away. Unfortunately, those Big Ghosts were of no help, especially the beautiful ghost. At the sight of the Handsome Monk, she was paralyzed, rolling her eyes repeatedly until they nearly popped out. Her skeletal claws twitched as if having a spasm…

A grand battle to defend her home fizzled out before it even began. She abandoned the beautiful ghost and fled on her own; that ghost was utterly useless, and she was ashamed to associate with her!

Zhang Daoist: “…”

Minister Li: “…”

Who exactly is scared of whom here?

Both wiped their brows, deciding to go along with whatever Master Gu said.

Truth be told, the Ghost Lady and her former wives, along with the maids, were truly in a panic. They knew the prowess of Long Black Straight Hair; if a fight broke out, it would be them who suffered, not her. They certainly didn’t want to be rounded up and sold off. But now that she had come knocking, they couldn’t just ignore her. What were they to do?

The Ghost Lady slammed the table with determination, declaring, “Enough! I’m going to fight them! Sisters, I appreciate your concern, but let’s all go our separate ways. You don’t need to worry about my affairs.”

“Sister, what are you saying? Are we like Old Zhuang, the kind of ghosts who abandon others? We can’t do that!”

“Exactly, we’ll go out and talk to Long Black Straight Hair. If things can’t be settled, we can always run later!”

“Right, as long as there’s life, there’s hope.”

The Ghost Lady was genuinely touched, waving her hand grandly, “Then let’s go meet Long Black Straight Hair!”

The Daoists felt the Yin Energy in the stone chamber suddenly grow incredibly dense. Looking up, they saw the Ghost Lady leading a hundred or so ghosts, male and female, all with pale faces and eerie appearances, missing limbs and covered in blood.

The Ghost Lady chuckled darkly, feigning ignorance, “You come uninvited, what is your business here?”

Zhang Daoist stood up and said, “We mean no harm, we just hope you can release our Daoist friend.”

Ghost Lady: “You trespassed into my home, and you expect me to treat you with courtesy? Hmph, if someone barged into your home, touching and taking things, would you be happy?”

The Daoists: …

Now that she put it that way, it really was their fault. After all, anyone would be upset in such a situation.

Gu Feiyin nodded in agreement, sincerely advising, “You guys really… Zhuang discovered this tomb and hid his inheritance here, you discovered this tomb and moved in, then those archaeologists found the tomb and wanted to dig it up… If we really count, you’re all outsiders, none of you have the right to be angry, so let’s all calm down, calm down, hehe.”

…???

Everyone present, whether human or ghost, turned to look at Miss Long Hair, Master Gu. How could someone speak so bluntly?

The Ghost Lady’s eyes nearly popped out; this Long Black Straight Hair was indeed here to ruin her plans!

Long Black Straight Hair continued, “How about this, I’ll act as a mediator, and we can resolve this peacefully, how does that sound?”

The Ghost Lady snapped, “No way, this is my home, no one can disrupt it!”

Gu Feiyin advised, “Let me tell you, what’s so great about this mountain? No electricity, no TV, no phones, no celebrity gossip, no world news, always dark with no one to talk to, aren’t you bored? I have several Riverside Villas in City A, officially recognized. If you move there, you’ll be a legitimate ghost. As long as you don’t cause trouble, the Special Unit, Daoist Association, and Buddhist Association won’t bother you, and might even greet you warmly.”

“The environment where I live is fantastic, with excellent transportation. It’s close to both small shops and big malls, so if you want to get candles, it’s just a short walk away. During festivals, many people come to the riverbank to burn paper money, and if they’re feeling generous, they’ll even bring pig head meat and poultry to give you a taste of the good life. Plus, there are plenty of little ghosts around, so you’ll have company. Whether you want to play mahjong or join a square dance, just give a shout, and it’s all set. It’s much better than this mountain.”

The ghosts: “…”

The Daoists: “…”

…Pig head meat, poultry? Mahjong? And candles?

Ghost Lady suddenly felt a bit tempted. She wasn’t interested in square dancing, as it was too embarrassing to be out in the open, but she did enjoy playing mahjong and watching TV. She had once sneaked down the mountain to watch TV at someone else’s house. The little people on the screen jumping around were really quite amusing. Besides, since becoming a ghost, she only had her maids to play mahjong with, and after decades, she was tired of it. Winning the same small amount of money over and over again was getting old. If she went outside, there would be other ghosts to play mahjong with!

No, no, it wouldn’t do to seem so easily swayed.

Gu Feiyin turned to Zhang Daoist and said, “Xiao Zhang, how about burning a five-story villa for them? Most of the houses in my place are rented out, so space is a bit tight.”

Xiao Zhang was momentarily stunned before he realized what she meant. He looked at Minister Li and said, “…If the lady is willing to move over, I can apply to send you a luxurious villa.”

“And a sedan, for the prestige.”

“…That can be arranged.”

“No car,” Ghost Lady said. “I get carsick. An eight-carrier sedan chair will do.”

Xiao Zhang: “…”

Xiao Li: “…”

The Daoists nearby: “…???”

The onlooking ghosts: “…!!!”

Gu Feiyin said, “That’s doable, that’s doable. Sedan chairs are nice. If you like, we can also burn some beautiful gold and silver jewelry and clothes for you. Although there are many treasures in this tomb, there’s nothing we can wear. Later, we can have them burn some gold ingots and paper money for you. Wouldn’t life be great? Xiao Zhang, are these requests manageable?”

Xiao Zhang, in a daze, could only nod, “Yes, yes, absolutely!”

The gold, silver, jewelry, and clothes aren’t worth much; they can be made from paper and sent over. It’s not as expensive as in the living world. A set would cost at most a few thousand yuan, and if a few thousand yuan can settle this Ghost Lady, it’s quite a bargain.

Ghost Lady: “…”

Oh no, she’s even more tempted now. Don’t mention it, she doesn’t have many clothes, just a few sets that she’s worn hundreds or thousands of times over the decades. Not to mention her maids, who wore the same outfit until their souls dispersed. She’s aesthetically fatigued. If there were new clothes and jewelry…

It’s not just Ghost Lady; even the fierce-looking ghosts behind her were a bit tempted. Oh my, what kind of heavenly life is this? A villa, an eight-carrier sedan chair, and people bringing candles, pig head meat, and burning clothes and jewelry? Heaven knows how long it’s been since they changed clothes or had a decent meal!

Gu Feiyin couldn’t help but doubt herself for a moment. Was her life really this good now?