Embers of Chuntai - Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Someone asked me why, since we weren’t getting back together, I still worked alongside him on official business.
I told them it was simple.
Public matters are public matters, and private feelings are private feelings.
I don’t use the national ledgers to heal my own emotional wounds, nor do I use old flames to trade for policy approvals.
Being able to separate these two things was the most expensive lesson I’ve learned over the past few years.
Over the following year, the political landscape of Daliang underwent a seismic shift.
I spearheaded the Salt Policy Reform, Yin Xianshan pushed forward military reforms, and the Emperor took the opportunity to reclaim power from the consort kin.
In the imperial court, we worked together like a double-edged blade-swift, precise, and ruthless.
But once we stepped out of the Golden Luan Hall, we didn’t exchange a single word of idle chatter.
The people of the capital loved a good show.
They were waiting to see the grand finale of the “Regent wins back his wife.”
In the teahouses, the storytellers made up new plots every day, claiming that Yin Xianshan would arrange ten miles of red dowry on the night of the lantern festival to beg for my return.
I laughed every time I heard it.
“Ten miles of red dowry is too expensive. He’d be better off converting it to silver for military pay.”
The shopkeeper laughed so hard he slapped the table. “Junzhu, your tongue really is merciless.”
“My tongue used to be softer, but I suffered for it.”
The Spring Terrace Trading Company expanded into the “Chuntai Bureau,” with its fleet of ships traveling across the thirteen northern and southern provinces.
I also established a school for women, offering four subjects: accounting, weaving, law, and medicine. In its first year, it enrolled three hundred female students.
Some said I was being heterodox and rebellious.
I replied, “I’m rebelling against your ‘scripture’ that says women are only fit to wait for a man to come back.”
Yin Xianshan helped me a lot in secret.
When the site selection for the women’s school got stuck in the Ministry of Works, he approved it with a single word.
When the Jiangbei Canal Transport was blocked by someone, he dispatched troops overnight to escort the fleet.
I knew about these things, but I never thanked him to his face.
It wasn’t out of spite.
It was about boundaries.
Once certain relationships have shattered, they will only prick your hands if you try to piece them back together.
It’s better to leave them where they are and acknowledge that they are broken.
On New Year’s Eve that year, after the palace banquet ended, I was catching the breeze by Taiye Pond.
Yin Xianshan walked up to my side and handed me a hand warmer.
“It’s cold.”
I took it and said softly, “Thanks.”
He looked at the distant fireworks and suddenly smiled.
“That’s the first time you’ve said ‘thanks’ to me all year.”
“You’ve kept a very clear tally.”
“Regarding your matters, I keep a very clear tally of everything now.”
I tilted my head to look at him.
The fireworks were reflected in his eyes, looking like a grand yet silent act of self-immolation.
“Zhiwei,” he whispered, “I don’t expect you to look back. I just want to ask… are you doing well now?”
I thought about it and answered seriously.
“Very well.”
“Even without me, you’re doing well?”
“Especially well.”
He froze for a moment, then gave a bitter smile.
“That’s good, then.”
